*** Enjoy some funny brain quotes, funny jokes about brain power, funny brain photos and interesting real facts about our amazing brains!
From Denny: I had a lot of fun putting together this post. The things you learn while writing... :)
The human brain starts working the moment you are born and never stops until you stand up to speak in public. — George Jessel
I believe in an open mind, but not so open that your brains fall out. — Arthur Hays Sulzberger
See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time. — Robin Williams
Knowledge fills a large brain; it merely inflates a small one. - Sydney Harris
God gave women intuition and femininity. Used properly, the combination easily jumbles the brain of any man I've ever met. — Farrah Fawcett
If little else, the brain is an educational toy. - Tom Robbins
Books: the children of the brain. - Jonathan Swift
Sculpture outside a psychiatrist's office - psych joke?
I am a Bear of Very Little Brain, and long words bother me. — Pooh (A. A. Milne), from Winnie-the-Pooh
The way I see it... If you need both of your hands for whatever it is you're doing, then your brain should probably be in on it too. — Ellen DeGeneres, on cell phones and driving
Brain: An apparatus with which we think we think. — Ambrose Bierce, The Devil's Dictionary
Aristotle was famous for knowing everything. He taught that the brain exists merely to cool the blood and is not involved in the process of thinking. This is true only of certain persons. — Will Cuppy
Estimated amount of glucose used by an adult human brain each day, expressed in M&Ms: 250 — Harper's Index
I used to think that the brain was the most wonderful organ in my body. Then I realized who was telling me this. — Emo Phillips
I've got the brain of a four year old. I'll bet he was glad to be rid of it. — Groucho Marx
Homer Simpson: "How is education supposed to make me feel smarter? Besides, every time I learn something new, it pushes some old stuff out of my brain. Remember when I took that home wine making course, and I forgot how to drive? - From The Simpsons
From The Rocky and Bullwinkle Show
Bullwinkle: "You just leave that to my pal. He's the brains of the outfit."
General: "What does that make you?"
Bullwinkle: "What else? An executive..."
Arthur Weasley: "Never trust anything that can think for itself if you can't see where it keeps its brain. - From Harry Potter and The Chamber of Secrets
Cliff Clavin: "Interesting little article here. It says that the average human being only uses 17% of his brain. Boy, you realize what that means? We don't use a full, uh... 64%. - From Cheers
Roz Doyle: "And as for my hangover, it was worth it. I partied my ass off like a brain-damaged test monkey! - From Frasier
Michael Scott: This website is the brainchild of my brainchild, Ryan. It is my brain-grandchild. - From The Office
The Ultimate Brain Teaser: If one in every four Americans has some form of mental illness, then think of your three best friends. If they're okay, than its you. - Anonymous
Some Brain Facts
It is not possible to tickle yourself. The cerebellum, a part of the brain, warns the rest of the brain that you are about to tickle yourself. Since your brain knows this, it ignores the resulting sensation.
The human brain has about 100,000,000,000 (100 billion) neurons. That's about 166 times the number of people on the planet.
Number of neurons in octopus brain = 300 million
Number of neurons in honey bee brain = 950,000
From all the oxygen that a human breathes, twenty percent goes to the brain.
Your brain uses approximately 20% of the total oxygen pumping around your body and about 750 ml of blood pumps through your brain every minute.
Unconsciousness will occur after 8-10 seconds after loss of blood supply to the brain.
Your brain consists of 60 percent white matter and 40 percent gray matter.
People who ride on roller coasters have a higher chance of having a blood clot in the brain.
Your brain is 75 percent water.
Your brain is move active and thinks more at night than during the day.
Information travels at different speeds within different types of neurons. Transmission can be as slow as 0.5 meters/sec or as fast as 120 meters/sec. Traveling at 120 meters/sec is the same as going 268 miles/hour.
The weight of an average human brain is about 1300-1400g - @ 3lbs i.e., almost one bag of sugar and about the size of a cantaloupe and wrinkled like a walnut.
The brain feels like a ripe avocado and looks pink because of the blood flowing through it.
Think positive because when you do, you’ll keep the doctor away: Studies show that 50-70% of visits to the doctor for physical ailments can be traced to psychological reasons.
Eat well, and it’ll have positive effects on your brain, because a study of one million New York students showed that those who ate lunches without additives such as artificial flavours, preservatives and dyes performed 14% better in IQ tests.
That being said, your brain is the most fatty organ in your body.
Your brain generates 25 watts of power while you're awake - enough to illuminate a light bulb.
A newborn baby's brain grows almost 3 times in course of first year.
Humans have the most complex brain of any animal on earth.
Your brain is divided into two sides. The left side of your brain controls the right side of your body; and, the right side of your brain controls the left side of your body.
Toxins in commonplace items such as carpeting and shower curtains may be contributing to memory loss over time?
Overexposure to aluminum compounds—in foil, cookware, deodorants, antacids, toothpaste—can affect brain function.
Lavender can help you sleep.
A cooked potato can jump-start your brain when you're feeling foggy.
The essential oil of jasmine can quickly restore mental alertness.
Eating foods rich in vitamin E, beta-carotene, and vitamin C may help lower your risk of Alzheimer's disease.
Certain prescription and nonprescription drugs may dramatically affect your ability to concentrate.
The number of internal thought pathways that your brain is capable of producing is: one followed by 10.5 million kilometers of standard typewritten zero's.
Your skin weighs twice as much as your brain.
Your cerebral cortex is about as thick as a tongue depressor. It grows thicker as you learn and use it.
The world record for time without sleep is 264 hours (11 days) by Randy Gardner in 1965
Funny Brain Jokes
"He who laughs last, thinks slowest."
An old couple was watching TV one evening, and the husband got up to go to the kitchen. His wife told him to get her some iced tea, and knowing that the years had taken their toll on his memory, she told him to write it down.
"I can remember iced tea," he protested.
"But I want sugar in my tea too," she told him, "so write it down."
He told her he could remember iced tea with sugar.
"I want a slice of lemon too." she said, "Just write it down."
He left the room grumbling to himself. A few minutes later he came back with a plate full of mashed potatoes for her.
"Now look what you've done!" she yelled at him, "You forgot my gravy!"
Three Old Men
Three old men were sitting on a park bench comparing notes on the problems of growing old. The first said he couldn't remember the last time he had a good bowel movement. The second one said his problem was more with his bladder and prostate. The third old man laughed and said he must be the lucky one.
"Every morning at seven I pee, and then at eight I have a good dump," he told them. "I just wish I could wake up before nine."
Brain Teaser One-Liners
- On the other hand, you have different fingers.
- He was lost in thought because it was unfamiliar territory.
- Nothing is really foolproof for a sufficiently talented fool.
- The latest poll finds that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world's population.
- "Nobody goes where the crowds are any more. It's too crowded." - Yogi Berra
- "Why is it when we talk to God we're praying, but when God talks to us, we're schizophrenic?" - Lily Tomlin
- "I don't want to achieve immortality through my work; I want to achieve it by not dying." - Woody Allen
- He started out with nothing, and he still has most of it.
- It was decided that his sole purpose in life was to serve as a bad example.
- If at first you don't succeed, skydiving may not be for you.
- If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably worth it.
- Do you have trouble making up your mind? Well, yes or no?
- Always borrow money from a pessimist. He won't expect it back.
- The philosopher was laying in bed one night, looking up at the moon, and he thought to himself, "Where the heck is my ceiling?"
- He doesn't suffer from stress - he's a carrier.
- And if I was getting smart with you, how would you know?
- How can there be self-help "groups"?
- Is there another word for 'synonym'?
*** For more grins be sure to check out this post:
Monday Morning Brain Owners Manual
*** THANKS for visiting, feel welcome to drop a comment or opinion, enjoy bookmarking this post on your favorite social site, a big shout out to awesome current subscribers – and if you are new to this blog, please subscribe in a reader or by email updates!
*** Come by for a visit and check out my other blogs:
The Social Poets - news, politics
The Soul Calendar - science, astronomy, psychology
Visual Insights - photos, art, music
Beautiful Illustrated Quotations - spiritual quotes, philosophy
Poems From A Spiritual Heart - poetry
The Healing Waters - health news
Dennys People Watching - people in the news
Dennys Food and Recipes
Dennys Funny Quotes - humor
28 July 2010
Recent Posts and Archive
- ► 2015 (37)
- ► 2014 (45)
- ► 2013 (100)
- ► 2012 (125)
- ► 2011 (349)
- WikiLeaks, America, Tea Party, World Politics Cart...
- Walk The World poem - Libations Friday 30 July 201...
- Is The Middle Class Almost Extinct in America?
- Funny Brain Quotes - Cheeky Quote Day - 28 July 20...
- How Devastating Are Those 92,000 Wikileaks Leaked ...
- More Lies From BP: Claims Fund on Empty
- Roundup of Late Night Funnies - 26 July 2010
- Funny Video: Colbert On The Environment - Awww, A...
- Funny Video: Colbert On The Environment - Run! An...
- Funny Video: Colbert Cleans Up the Gulf
- Funny Video: Sarah Palins Geography Song 50 Nifty ...
- Monday Morning Brain Owners Manual
- Posts Roundup of Dennys Blogs - 25 July 2010
- Cartoons: American and World Politics, Tea Party ...
- Govt Justice Dept Wastes $100 Million on Partying ...
- Govt Sex Perverts: Pentagon, Govt Spooks Watching ...
- Just How Angry Are Americans At Their Prez and Pol...
- Americans Sour on Economy, Obamas Better Plan to M...
- Funny Economy Humor - Cheeky Quote Day 21 July 201...
- Unemployed About To Get Relief, Brit PM Visit, Fox...
- Roundup of Late Night Funnies - 20 July 2010
- Funny Video: Colberts Automatic Weapons For The Pe...
- Funny Video: Wanna Work in the Fields Like the Imm...
- Funny Video: Colbert Talks Food For Thought - Cand...
- Obama Shouts At Republicans, What We Get Out Of Fi...
- Posts Roundup at Dennys Blogs - 18 July 2010
- Dark Humor: BP Oil Spill Cartoons - 17 July 2010
- America, World Politics, Sports Cartoons - 17 Jul...
- BP Plays Games With Oil Spill, Democrats Face Huge...
- Funny Texting Quotes - Cheeky Quote Day 14 July 20...
- Why Obama Is Failing Miserably At Running America
- Roundup of Late Night Funnies - 12 July 2010
- Funny Video: Colbert Mocks Republican Men Hairstyl...
- Funny Video: Colbert Rips Glenn Beck For His "Wild...
- Colbert: Rent a White Guy in China For Business Me...
- Celebrity: Chelsea Clinton Wedding Day Details
- Posts Roundup of Dennys Blogs - 11 July 2010
- Cartoons: BP Oil Spill, American Economy Opinion, ...
- Scummy Senators Aide Offers Pay For Access, Those ...
- Sweltering Summer Heat poem - Libations Friday 9 J...
- How You Know You Have Dreaded Teabagger Disease
- Outrageous Funny Photos: This Is So Wrong...
- 27, 000 Aging Abandoned Leaking Oil Wells in Gulf ...
- Roundup of Late Night Funnies - 5 July 2010
- Funny Video: Jon Stewart Says Republicans Want Cl...
- Funny Video: How BP CEO Hayward Can Improve His Im...
- Funny Video: Kimmel Compares BP To Al Qaeda
- Funny Video: Colbert Lampoons BPs Positive Spin O...
- Funny Video: Jon Stewart Lampoons The G-20 Summit
- Posts Roundup at Dennys 14 Blogs - 4 July 2010
- Fourth of July Fireworks Cartoons - 3 July 2010
- How Do We Live Freedom and Liberty? poem - Libatio...
- 8 Funny Posts 4 A Grin From Dennys Blogs - 2 July ...
- How To Save Obamas Presidency AND The American Eco...
- ▼ July (54)
- ► 2009 (533)