13 January 2010

Funny Quotes About Time - Cheeky Quote Day! 13 Jan 2010

Time? Where are you, you little rascal? I'll go shoot me some Time to keep!

From Denny: Humanity sure does have a wide ranging opinion about Time, most of it humorous! Some of these quotes are so cheeky they remind me of the old-fashioned school master practice of placing a child in the corner with a dunce's cap on because he or she did not do their homework or could not answer the question.

Of course, my Republican friends, with whom I often converse vociferously about politics - yet we still have a love-fest friendship (amazing, huh?!) - will love this little graphic of a donkey with a dunce's cap. I'm sure they will howl with laughter for days and dine on it with their friends for months. OK, guys, this is your one-time cheap shot at the Democrats! :)

One of the quotes dates back to an ancient Greek philosopher which goes to show just how long humanity has pondered the concept of Time! There are other "heavyweights" who weighed in on their opinions like Marilyn Monroe, Mike Tyson, George Carlin, Woody Allen, John Steinbeck, Robert Frost and the oft quoted, Albert Einstein. Come on; most of today's current culture figured that Albert Einstein actually invented Time, popping into our time line just long enough to explain the Universe. :) He does have that way about him of being timeless...

I sure had some fun with the photos. Check out the captions. Enjoy today's Mind Candy!


* Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do. - Jean-Paul Sartre

* If you don't have time to do it right you must have time to do it over. - Anonymous

* Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils. - Hector Berlioz

* Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana. - Groucho Marx (OK, this one is a bit silly but hey! what is life if you don't enjoy an occasional Groucho Marx saying?)

* It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take Hofstadter's Law into account. - Hofstadter's Law

* A man with a watch knows what time it is. A man with two watches is never sure. - Segal's Law

* When I give a lecture, I accept that people look at their watches, but what I do not tolerate is when they look at it and raise it to their ear to find out if it stopped. - Marcel Achard

* A loafer always has the correct time. - Kin Hubbard (For second language folks: a "loafer" person is American slang/idiom for a lazy person. OK, explaining that one took all the humor out of it but at least if you hear the term again then that time it will be funny!)

This guy is so obsessive about Time he is polishing it! Now there is a novel approach to the age old dilemma of never having enough Time: groom it like a horse so it will stay in the barn.

* Time will explain it all. He is a talker, and needs no questioning before he speaks. - Euripides

* The time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time. - Bertrand Russell

* Time's fun when you're having flies. (Kermit the Frog) - Jim Henson

* The day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life. -- (Sometimes a Little Brain Damage Can Help, 1984) - George Carlin

* Time is the only critic without ambition. - John Steinbeck

* In reality, killing time is only the name for another of the multifarious ways by which Time kills us. - Osbert Sitwell

* I would I could stand on a busy corner, hat in hand, and beg people to throw me all their wasted hours. - Bernard Berenson

* You know, sometimes, when they say you are ahead of your time, it's just a polite way of saying you have a real bad sense of timing. – Gov. George McGovern

* I've been on a calendar, but never on time. - Marilyn Monroe

* Time and Tide wait for no man, but time always stands still for a woman of thirty. -Robert Frost

The usual response to time management gurus...

* Time is bunk. - Douglas Adams

* Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered? - Woody Allen

* Time is Nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once. - Woody Allen

* The days of the digital watch are numbered. - Tom Stoppard

* I don't mind going back to daylight saving time. With inflation, the hour will be the only thing I've saved all year. - Victor Borge

* Time stays long enough for anyone who will use it. - Leonardo Da Vinci

* Yesterday is a canceled check; tomorrow is a promissory note; today is the only cash you have - so spend it wisely. - Kay Lyons

* Time is our most valuable asset, yet we tend to waste it, kill it and spend it rather than invest it. – Jim Rohn

Here is what the time management gurus say happens when you are not watching your time management: it blows up on you! Yet Time marches on with you or without you...

* Time is the substance from which I am made. Time is a river which carries me along, but I am the river; it is a tiger that devours me, but I am the tiger; it is a fire that consumes me, but I am the fire. – Jorge Luis Borge

* Yes, time flies. And where did it leave you? Old too soon...smart too late. - Mike Tyson

* You know, sometimes, when they say you're ahead of your time, it's just a polite way of saying you have a real bad sense of timing. - George McGovern

* To think too long about doing a thing often becomes its undoing. – Eva Young

Ravens and crows are spiritually symbolic of opening up our awareness to spiritual Time. This guy is a bit cheeky as he tries to court the woman by showing her he can light her cigarette. Guess he will get back to his spiritual business later... I can only imagine what the Crow Convention will have to cackle about back at the home base address of Birds on a Wire!

* Time is an illusion, lunchtime doubly so. - Douglas Adams

* I gotta work out. I keep saying it all the time. I keep saying I gotta start working out. It's been about two months since I've worked out. And I just don't have the time. Which uh..is odd. Because I have the time to go out to dinner. And uh..and watch tv. And get a bone density test. And uh.. try to figure out what my phone number spells in words. - Ellen DeGeneres

* Clocks slay time... time is dead as long as it is being clicked off by little wheels; only when the clock stops does time come to life. – William Faulkner

* Time wastes our bodies and our wits, but we waste time, so we are quits. – Anonymous

* Why won't they let a year die without bringing in a new one on the instant, can't they use birth control on time? - John Dos Passos, 1917

* How long a minute is, depends on which side of the bathroom door you're on. - Zall's Second Law

* Time is the only thief we can't get justice against. - Astrid Alauda

* There are whole years for which I hope I'll never be cross-examined, for I could not give an alibi. - Mignon McLaughlin

* The clocks are all turned forward from Funny Time to Right Time. I always remember, "Spring back or Fall in." - Dave Beard

Kissing between the inner dimensions of Mars and Venus... :)

* Time is the longest distance between two places. – Tennessee Williams

* For centuries, man believed that the sun revolves around the earth. Centuries later, he still thinks that time moves clockwise. - Robert Brault

* The inertia hardest to overcome is that of perfectly good seconds. - Martin H. Fischer

* As if you could kill time without injuring eternity. - Henry David Thoreau, "Economy," Walden, 1854

* Time goes, you say? Ah no!
Alas, Time stays, we go.
- Henry Austin Dobson

* For disappearing acts, it's hard to beat what happens to the eight hours supposedly left after eight of sleep and eight of work. - Doug Larson

* You must have been warned against letting the golden hours slip by; but some of them are golden only because we let them slip by. - James Matthew Barrie

* A good holiday is one spent among people whose notions of time are vaguer than yours. -
John B. Priestly

* Old Time, in whose banks we deposit our notes
Is a miser who always wants guineas for groats;
He keeps all his customers still in arrears
By lending them minutes and charging them years.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes

Take Time for some fun - Einstein, one of the most brilliant minds, found Time and took it for a ride quite often! :)

* The only reason for time is so that everything doesn't happen at once. – Albert Einstein

* Let not the sands of time get in your lunch. - Tony Hendra

* The time you think you're missing, misses you too. - Ymber Delecto

* Time is a dressmaker specializing in alterations. - Faith Baldwin

: "Play it again, Sam!"

*** ALSO: Another great post - Wonderful Serious Quotes About Time

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