14 July 2010

Funny Texting Quotes - Cheeky Quote Day 14 July 2010

*** Get a grin from these funny texting quotes, humorous texting cartoons and enjoy two popular hip hop and dance videos while you read and laugh.






From Denny: And truly not to be missed if you are part of the clueless generation, finally, a place to give you all the answers to all those texting abbreviations your kids (and/or grandkids) are doing in front of you - instead of behind your back like previous self-respecting generations of sneaky teenagers! :)






The state of texting today by Mick Stevens




The List of Chat Acronyms & Text Message Shorthand

Cell Phone Text Messaging Shorthand

Top 50 Internet Acronyms Parents Need to Know

Top 50 More Acronyms Every Parent Should Know

Top 50 Popular Text & Chat Acronyms

Top 50 Newbie Terms Everyone Needs to Know




Make sure to play this fast-paced song while you read:







It is fun to learn a language inside a language. Every generation has code talk they don't want the parents to understand. But this savvy high tech generation? Parents, you are so screwed these days. :)


Top 50 Funniest Terms Used in the Online World:

all your base are belong to us - An incoherent line from a Japanese video game called Zero Wing by Sega Genesis, it...

angry garden salad - Slang for a poorly designed Web site GUI with incorrect code behind it (so that if...

assicons - A funny take on emoticons, "assicons" (like boobiecons) involve another body part....

boobiecons - Another funny take on emoticons, "boobiecons" (like assicons) involve another body...

cappuccino cowboy - A nickname for a person who just has to have a Starbucks coffee or other type of roadie...

chillaxin - Slang for chilling and relaxing, as in "What up? Not much, just chillaxin."

chips and salsa - Chips refers to computer hardware. Salso refers to software.

cluster funk - When a multitude of things go wrong on a computer system, at the same time.

cornea gumbo - A visually noisy or over-designed Web site, usually with too many graphics.

crapplet - A badly written or totally useless Java applet, as in, "I just wasted thirty minutes.

dancing baloney - Gratuitous animated GIFs and other Web special effects that are used to impress clients.

digital doppelganger - Another name for your online persona, for example, the founder of NetLingo's "digital.

double geeking - When you use two computers at the same time. "Triple-geeking" is using three computers.

easter egg - A hidden element written into a program or placed on a Web site.

eating your own dog food - When a computer company uses its own software for internal projects.

echo chamber - Traditionally, an "echo chamber" describes a group of media outlets that tend to parrot.

fat finger - To make an error in typing, as in, "Oops, I didn't see that misspelling.

flame war - When an online discussion degenerates into a series of personal attacks.

fortune cookie - An inane, witty, or profound comment that can be found around the net.

fram - Slang for spam sent to you by your friends or family.

gingerbread house - Slang for a company that hires NCGs, places them in high-pressure positions.

grok - To "get it" or to understand something so completely that you absorb it and practically...

hairball - Any tangled mess. Often refers to poorly written computer code with Microsoft's name.

ID10T - An acronym, actually an expression, used among tech support personnel to disguise...



Moderately Confused




meatloaf - Unlike spam, which is unsolicited commercial e-mail (UCE), meatloaf is unsolicited...

middle school dance - Slang for a situation in which two pieces of equipment are both waiting for the other.

ohnosecond - The fraction of time it takes to realize you've just goofed.

open your kimono - Silicon Valley slang for revealing your business idea to someone after he or she signs an NDA.

PITA - As in, "What a PITA," it is an acronym used primarily in texting, online chat, instant...

plonk - To kill (or filter-out) a particular person's messages from the newsgroups you read.

POTATO - This is what's known as a hilarious acronym! For example, "did you get a load of that...



Moderately Confused



prairie dogging - Slang for when someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm.

rasterbator - A designer who's become a compulsive digital manipulator or Photoshop abuser.

router droppings - The inclusions added to e-mail messages when a server or recipient cannot be found.

salmon day - Workplace slang that refers to the experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream.

scribe tribes - Netizens who publish their journals, diaries, and daily ramblings on the Web and organize.

script kiddies - In general, this is slang for people who find tools on the Internet.

seagull manager - A manager who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps over everything, and then leaves.

shareware girl - Office jargon for the coolest girl in the company, the one that all the programmers...

Siliconia - Nicknames for cities and areas with a heavy concentration of high-tech firms. "Siliconia"...

spam - An e-mail message sent to a large number of people without consent, also known as...

splog - "Splogs" are amateur blogs with mostly stolen content that are published by spurious...

time porn - Popular entertainment in general. Traditionally this term referred to TV shows like...

turklebaum - Based on a phony e-mail message about a fellow named Turklebaum (who allegedly died...

velveeta - To cross-post to an excessive number of newsgroups.

walled garden - A favorite term by those in the industry, a "walled garden" refers to certain Web...

wallhumper - Office slang for a person who raises their hip in an effort to swipe their electronic...

warez - This word is considered by many users to be a catchall term for software which includes...

word-of-mouse - Gossip or information spread via the net, usually through e-mail, blogs or newsgroup postings.

zen mail - E-mail messages that arrive with no text in the message body.


More groove while you read and laugh music:






Funny Texting One Liners:


Show me a woman who doesn't feel guilt and I'll show you a man.

If women didn't exist, all the money in the world would have no meaning.

Wild horses couldn't drag a secret out of most women. However, women seldom have lunch with wild horses.

Did you ever walk into a room and and forget why you walked in? That's how dogs spend their lives.

When a woman says, 'I don't wish to mention any names', it means it ain't necessary to mention any names.

When women go wrong, men go right after them.

She looked as if she'd been poured into her clothes and had forgotten to say 'when.'

I'm glad I'm not bisexual; I couldn't stand being rejected by men as well as women. (Now there's a dilemma to ponder...)

Happiness is sitting down to watch slides of your neighbor's holiday and finding out she spent two weeks at a nudist camp.

Why were males created before females? Coz you always need a rough draft before the final copy.

I've used up all my sick days, so I'm calling in dead. (Now there's a plan.)

Boss: (to employee) - Experts say humor on the job relieves tension in this time of down-sizing, Knock, Knock.
Employee: Who's there?
Boss: Not you anymore.

The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of your action.

What do you call a blonde hiding in a closet?
The 1977 World Hide and Seek Champion.

I'm late for work because the train driver had an out of body experience and didn't come back for a day and a half.

What do you get when you cross ESP with PMS? A scary woman who knows everything.

What is the thinnest book in the world?
What Men Know About Women.

A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend.

You're slower than a herd of turtles stampeding through peanut butter.

Do chickens think rubber humans are funny?

There cannot be a crisis today; my schedule is already full.

Borrow money from pessimists; they don't expect it back

As a computer, I find your faith in technology amusing

Nothing in the known universe travels faster than a bad check.

I'd explain it to you, but your brain would explode.




Mike Luckovich




My Reality Check bounced.

Minds are like Parachutes. They work best when open.

It's no accident that stressed spelled backwards is desserts.

I can please only one person per day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow isn't looking good either.

See no evil, hear no evil, date no evil.

I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.

If I throw a stick, will you leave?

I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.

Someday, we'll look back on this, laugh nervously and change the subject.

Does your train of thought have a caboose?

Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.

I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

You sound reasonable...Time to up my medication.

I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.

The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.

Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.

Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.

Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.

What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?

Not all men are annoying. Some are dead.

A woman's favorite position is CEO.

I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

Yes, I am an agent of Satan but my duties are largely ceremonial.

It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.

No, my powers can only be used for good.

A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.

It might look like I'm doing nothing, but at the subatomic level I'm really quite busy.

Can I trade this job for what's behind door number 1?

I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.

Too many freaks, not enough circuses.

Macho Law prohibits me from admitting I'm wrong.

Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?

Chaos, panic and disorder; my work here is done.

Never trust a dog to watch your food.

Talk is cheap because supply exceeds demand.



Moderately Confused




How they text in the Philippines:

Any man who can text while kissing a pretty girl is simply not giving the text the attention it deserves.

Why do I miss you? Because you make me smile. You are so kind. You are so sweet. You are very funny. And most of all, because you are not texting me any more. That's why.

Every time I hold her hand, I feel like holding my cheek. She always slaps me on the face.

You've got sex appeal, you've got style, you've got intelligence, and you've got class. You've got the face and you've got the body but I've got the wrong number.

We hate others for imitating us. We are irritated by their attitude.

Why do we sleep? Because we need to take a break from texting. Have a nice dream while texting.

If you are alone, I'll be your shadow. If you want to cry, I'll be your shoulder. If you want a hug, I'll be your pillow. If you need to be happy, I'll be your smile. If you need money, wait for your salary.

No matter how sad, no matter how sick, I feel better just thinking of you... But I'm happier each time I send you a message 'coz I know I'll be disturbing you!

You think I'm nice, I think you're nice. You think I'm kind, I think you're kind. You think I can be trusted, I think you can. You think I'm cute, and I think you're right.

This message was sent exclusively for the handsome and the beautiful. We have obviously sent it to the wrong number. We are truly sorry for the inconvenience.

Money will buy a bed but not sleep, food but not appetite, amusement but not happiness. You see, money is not everything. Therefore, if you have too much, please send it to me ASAP!

Yesterday is history.... Tomorrow is a mystery.... Today is a gift.... That's why its called the present!

I'm so sorry for not telling you this before. You ought to know how smart, cute, witty, sweet, charming, alluring and wonderful you are!... I didn't know I've influenced you that much!

Newsflash: Police are looking for a suspect who's smart, sexy, witty and very gorgeous. They've already eliminated you from the list of suspects. Where do you think I should hide?

If I were to make a dictionary: CUTE=you; SWEET=you; THOUGHTFUL=you; GOOD LOOKING=you; GORGEOUS=you; LIAR=me!

Those innocent eyes... Those kissable lips... A great smile... The perfect walk... Smoothest talk... Absolutely gorgeous.. That's enough bout me. How about you?

It takes patience to keep a nagging wife; fortune to keep an ambitious wife; four eyes to keep a pretty wife.

Dear fellow texters, Due to Globeline problems, we are experiencing delayed messages. This is why as early as now I would like to greet you a Merry Christmas in July.

Trivia: Having a good laugh with friends stimulates endorphins, the brain's natural painkillers. So if you need to laugh and you can't find a friend, I can lend you a mirror.

When he was five years old, he wanted to become a lawyer. Now that he is a lawyer, he acts like a five-year-old.

There are now three ways of describing a glass with water half of its volume. It is either half-full, half-empty or half-safe to drink.



*** Bozo Sapien photo by I'm Fantastic @ flickr

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