10 June 2010

Funny Fathers Day: Cheeky Quote Day - 10 June 2010

*** Enjoy funny Father's Day quotes to tell at the holiday dinner table and get the family roaring with laughter, prompting their own funny story telling.

From Denny: American fathers often get a bad rap, especially from the past couple of generations. It seems most parenting was always left to the mothers to be the tough ones as well as the nurturing ones. The current generation of men have turned that paradigm on its head and are often the nurturing parent as well now. Parenting is more of an equal partnership, creating a lot less stress for this generation of mothers.

Many of these cartoons display the funny stereotypes of generations past - like the 50's, 60's and 70's parents - and now those children are parents and grandparents. Yet some funny characteristics remain the same generation to generation. Parents require mountains of patience with precocious kids. Parents are embarrassing to be seen with when kids are pre-teens. Parents get dissed by their kids when they turn into almost adults: teenagers. Whatever happened to that cute little kid who so used to adore their parent? :)

Funny Father's Day Quotes

* Spread the diaper in the position of the diamond with you at bat. Then, fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound. Put first base and third together, bring up home plate and pin the three together. Of course, in case of rain, you gotta call the game and start all over again. - Jimmy Piersal, on how to diaper a baby

* To be a successful father, there's one absolute rule: when you have a kid, don't look at it for the first two years. - Ernest Hemingway

* If the new American father feels bewildered and even defeated, let him take comfort from the fact that whatever he does in any fathering situation has a fifty percent chance of being right. - Bill Cosby

* The thing to remember about fathers is... they're men. A girl has to keep it in mind: They are dragon-seekers, bent on improbable rescues. Scratch any father, you find someone chock-full of qualms and romantic terrors, believing change is a threat, like your first shoes with heels on, like your first bicycle. - Phyllis McGinley

* If the relationship of father to son could really be reduced to biology, the whole earth would blaze with the glory of fathers and sons. - James Baldwin

* When Charles first saw our child Mary, he said all the proper things for a new father. He looked upon the poor little red thing and blurted, "She's more beautiful than the Brooklyn Bridge." - Helen Hayes

* My father hated radio and he could not wait for television to be invented so that he could hate that too. - Peter De Vries

* Life was a lot simpler when what we honored was father and mother rather than all major credit cards. - Robert Orben

* Never raise your hand to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. - Red Buttons

Life Quotes About Fathers

* He didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it. - Clarence Budington Kelland

* A man knows when he is growing old because he begins to look like his father. - Gabriel Garcia Marquez

* As fathers commonly go, it is seldom a misfortune to be fatherless; and considering the general run of sons, as seldom a misfortune to be childless. - Lord Chesterfield

* Don't make a baby if you can't be a father. - National Urban League Slogan

* Sons have always a rebellious wish to be disillusioned by that which charmed their fathers. - Aldous Huxley

* A man's desire for a son is usually nothing but the wish to duplicate himself in order that such a remarkable pattern may not be lost to the world. - Helen Rowland

* The worst misfortune that can happen to an ordinary man is to have an extraordinary father. - Austin O'Malley

* The father who does not teach his son his duties is equally guilty with the son who neglects them. - Confucius

* He who is taught to live upon little owes more to his father's wisdom than he who has a great deal left him does to his father's care. - William Penn

* By the time a man realizes that maybe his father was right, he usually has a son who thinks he's wrong. - Charles Wadworth

* Sherman made the terrible discovery that men make about their fathers sooner or later... that the man before him was not an aging father but a boy, a boy much like himself, a boy who grew up and had a child of his own and, as best he could, out of a sense of duty and, perhaps love, adopted a role called 'Being a Father' so that his child would have something mythical and infinitely important: a Protector, who would keep a lid on all the chaotic and catastrophic possibilities of life. - Tom Wolfe, The Bonfire of the Vanities

* One father is more than a hundred schoolmasters. - George Herbert

* There's something like a line of gold thread running through a man's words when he talks to his daughter, and gradually over the years it gets to be long enough for you to pick up in your hands and weave into a cloth that feels like love itself. - John Gregory Brown, Decorations in a Ruined Cemetery

* It is impossible to please all the world and one's father. - Jean de La Fontaine

* Parents are often so busy with the physical rearing of children that they miss the glory of parenthood, just as the grandeur of the trees is lost when raking leaves. - Marcelene Cox

* Be kind to thy father, for when thou were young, who loved thee so fondly as he? He caught the first accents that fell from thy tongue, and joined in thy innocent glee. - Margaret Courtney

* To a father growing old nothing is dearer than a daughter. - Euripides

* The greatest gift I ever had came from God, and I call him Dad! - Anonymous

* To her the name of father was another name for love. - Fanny Fern

* All fathers are invisible in daytime; daytime is ruled by mothers and fathers come out at night. Darkness brings home fathers, with their real, unspeakable power. There is more to fathers than meets the eye. - Margaret Atwood, Cat's Eyes

* The father is always a Republican toward his son, and his mother's always a Democrat. - Robert Frost

* Small boys become big men through the influence of big men who care about small boys. - Anonymous

* It doesn't matter who my father was; it matters who I remember he was. - Anne Sexton

*** For more Father's Day posts to enjoy:

Fathers Day Posts: Quotes, Photos, Humor, Music. Poetry

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Photo Credits

*** Father and son surf lesson photo by mikebaird @ flickr

*** New father and child asleep photo by *clairity* @ flickr

***Father and newborn daughter photo by apdk @ flickr

*** Father and son walking with a balloon photo by h.koppdelaney @ flickr

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