If there were no schools to take the children away from home part of the time, the insane asylums would be filled with mothers. - Edgar W. Howe
Being a child at home alone in the summer is a high-risk occupation. If you call your mother at work thirteen times an hour, she can hurt you. ~ Erma Bombeck
Labor Day is a glorious holiday because your child will be going back to school the next day. It would have been called Independence Day, but that name was already taken. - Bill Dodds
You send your child to the schoolmaster, but 'tis the schoolboys who educate him. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in schools. - Anonymous
I like a teacher who gives you something to take home to think about besides homework. - Lily Tomlin as "Edith Ann"
Often, when I am reading a good book, I stop and thank my teacher. That is, I used to, until she got an unlisted number. - Anonymous
There are three good reasons to be a teacher - June, July, and August. - Anonymous
What we want is to see the child in pursuit of knowledge, and not knowledge in pursuit of the child. - George Bernard Shaw
A professor is someone who talks in someone else's sleep. - W.H. Auden
A cross-eyed teacher can keep twice the number of children in order than any other, because the pupils do not know who she's looking at. - Four Hundred Laughs: Or, Fun Without Vulgarity, compiled and edited by John R. Kemble, 1902
Anyone who thinks the art of conversation is dead ought to tell a child to go to bed. - Robert Gallagher
I have never let my schooling interfere with my education. ~ Mark Twain
It doesn't make much difference what you study, as long as you don't like it. - Finley Peter Dunne
You can get all A's and still flunk life. - Walker Percy
Education is what remains after one has forgotten what one has learned in school. - Albert Einstein
If you think education is expensive, try ignorance. - Attributed to both Andy McIntyre and Derek Bok
Education aims to give you a boost up the ladder of knowledge. Too often, it just gives you a cramp on one of its rungs. - Martin H. Fischer
Education would be much more effective if its purpose was to ensure that by the time they leave school every boy and girl should know how much they do not know, and be imbued with a lifelong desire to know it. - William Haley
Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog. - Doug Larson
Education is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember from time to time that nothing worth knowing can be taught. - Oscar Wilde, "The Critic as Artist," 1890
Did you know America ranks the lowest in education but the highest in drug use? It's nice to be number one, but we can fix that. All we need to do is start the war on education. If it's anywhere near as successful as our war on drugs, in no time we'll all be hooked on phonics. - Leighann Lord
When a subject becomes totally obsolete we make it a required course. - Peter Drucker
I think everyone should go to college and get a degree and then spend six months as a bartender and six months as a cabdriver. Then they would really be educated. - Al McGuire
Education is learning what you didn't even know you didn't know. - Daniel J. Boorstin, Democracy and Its Discontents
The founding fathers... provided jails called schools, equipped with tortures called education. School is where you go between when your parents can't take you and industry can't take you. - John Updike, The Centaur, 1963
You learn something every day if you pay attention. - Ray LeBlond
I am always ready to learn although I do not always like being taught. - Winston Churchill
Every act of conscious learning requires the willingness to suffer an injury to one's self-esteem. That is why young children, before they are aware of their own self-importance, learn so easily. - Thomas Szasz
The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn. - Alvin Toffler
If a doctor, lawyer, or dentist had 40 people in his office at one time, all of whom had different needs, and some of whom didn't want to be there and were causing trouble, and the doctor, lawyer, or dentist, without assistance, had to treat them all with professional excellence for nine months, then he might have some conception of the classroom teacher's job. - Donald D. Quinn
*** For more laughs check out this post:
Roundup of Late Night Funnies - 16 Aug 2010 - Check out this week's funny late night jokes and latest cartoons lampooning politics to American culture, with a funny side dish of funny video clips thrown in to keep you grinning.
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