23 August 2010

Roundup of Late Night Funnies - 23 Aug 2010

*** Check out the latest jokes from late night comics this week, along with some of the most current cartoons and LOL funniest videos from the likes of Colbert and Stewart.

From Denny: It seems every time you turn on the TV news there is a revolting story about how bed bugs have suddenly multiplied 500 percent, ravaging Americans all across the country. Bed bugs are chomping on people at home, at restaurants, at hotels and second hand furniture stores. That will teach you to do dumpster diving for free furniture.

Of course, those of us who live in the South are experts on pest control compared to our Northern cousins who are downright neophytes. The truth is we cheer our local pest control guys as much as our football teams. It's the key to our success of being bed bug free. Try it sometime. It really works.

Enjoy some of the funniest video clips of late from the crazy minds of Colbert and Stewart.

Funny Videos Featured:

Funny Video: Campy Bed Bug PSA - Leave it to Jon Stewart to ferret out the campiest PSA done on bedbugs.

Funny Video: Colbert on America as 'The Straight Meat in a Big Gay Sandwich' - Outrageous Colbert labels America as the straight meat filling of a gay sandwich since Canada and Mexico legalized gay marriage.

Funny Video: Stewart Rips Fox News Lies About Ground Zero Mosque - Comics have endless material ripped from true headlines, like Fox News creating controversy to keep from sinking lower in the news ratings.

Bill Day

From Jimmy Kimmel:

President Obama was in Hollywood for a star-studded fundraiser. They raised a million dollars and converted him to Scientology.

The president's security left traffic in Los Angeles paralyzed. It took some people two hours to get home from work, when it usually only takes 96 minutes.

I don't understand why the president has to drive. He could just flap his ears and fly anywhere.

Henry Payne

Scott Stantis

After three weeks of jury deliberations, Rod Blagojevich was convicted yesterday on only one of the 24 counts against him. The one count he was convicted for? Transporting illegally silky hair across state lines.

He could get up to five years, though that's very unlikely. He'll probably do somewhere between Lindsay Lohan and Lil Wayne.

Can you imagine Rod Blagojevich in a prison jumpsuit? He'd look like a traffic cone with a Koosh ball on top.

Moderately Confused

President Obama had a 24-hour vacation on the Gulf Coast of Florida. Some Republicans are attacking him for not staying longer. They have a point. President Bush used to vacation for weeks at a time.

The president was there to promote tourism in the Gulf. He even jumped into the Gulf to prove it was safe. Unfortunately, he did a cannonball right onto a pelican.

Bristol Palin and Levi Johnston have reaching a custody agreement. Neither of them is allowed to say anything bad about the other parent or the other parent’s family in front of Tripp. So basically nobody is allowed to speak in front of Tripp.

Everyone is talking about Steven Slater, the flight attendant who cursed at a passenger, grabbed two beers, and slid down the escape slide, in what may be the best resignation ever. In fact he's so good at quitting, they're thinking about making him the next governor of Alaska.

It could be the first time in history that someone has been arrested for going down an inflatable slide.

The Mexican Supreme Court ruled that all Mexican states must recognize same-sex marriages registered in Mexico City. So men can now marry in Mexico, but they still can't honeymoon in Arizona.

Jerry Holbert

From Jay Leno:

According to the Wall Street Journal, there is a growing movement among Democrats to replace Joe Biden as VP with Hillary Clinton in 2012. Do you realize that if that happens, for the first time Hillary will be directly under a president.

Fertility clinics in England say they are facing a nationwide donor shortage and are looking for international sperm donors. Finally a job Levi Johnston is actually qualified for.

According to U.S. and Iraqi commanders, if the U.S. pulls out of Iraq, their borders will be vulnerable and they won't be able to stop anyone from entering their country. Well, join the club.

President Obama may be willing to meet with Iranian president Mahmoud Ahmadinejad. How does that make the governor of Arizona feel? The president won't meet with her, but a four-foot tall Holocaust-denier in a Members Only jacket? No problem.

The White House is defending President Obama's sports activities over the past week, saying that everyone needs leisure time. Thanks to these economic policies, 9.5 percent of Americans have all the leisure time they need.

The economy is so bad, the Obamas are thinking about taking their next vacation in the United States.

If anyone is looking for a job, there's an opening for a flight attendant at JetBlue. … Steven Slater, the famous JetBlue flight attendant, dropped so many F-bombs on that plane that he got a thumbs up from Joe Biden.

Those fallen sports heroes...

Jerry Holbert

Steve Kelley

Marshall Ramsey

Drew Sheneman

From Craig Ferguson:

In 'The Expendables,' Bruce Willis and Arnold Schwarzenegger beat up Sylvester Stallone for convincing them to invest in Planet Hollywood.

Schwarzenegger was only in the movie for five minutes, but during that five minutes, he achieved more than in all his years as governor.

When Schwarzenegger heard the title 'The Expendables,' he thought it was in reference to California's teachers.

Chris Britt

From Jimmy Fallon:

Al-Jazeera's English-speaking channel was nominated for an International Emmy. On the red carpet, Joan Rivers will be like, 'Who are you wearing? And why is it ticking?'

Levi Johnston is running for mayor of Wasilla, Alaska. The current mayor said Levi Johnston should get his high school diploma and keep his clothes on if he wants to win. And then Levi was like, 'Dude, he just told me how to win. What an idiot.'

*** And for more laughs this week be sure to visit Dennys Funny Quotes:

Funny Video: Bounty Mocks High School With Rap - Video: Bounty Brings It. Paper Towel Gang Keeps it Clean - great rap music video production for an ad.

Funny Work Cartoons - 23 Aug 2010 - Funny Work Cartoons - 23 Aug 2010

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