Dishing out spicy liberal social commentary and critical thinking news analysis on America, world politics, the news, fun political humor, cartoons - and a little poetry by Independent journalist blogger Denny Lyon.
This sure is a mean - and more competitive than usual - political season.
From Denny: This is a midterm election season and it is in full swing like a Presidential election. This year is when the controlling political party gets to redistrict the nation to give one party or another more seats and deprive their competition of enough to drive them into minority status. Meanwhile, it's the voters who suffer from these greedy selfish practices. The Republicans are the most notorious in breaking up Democratic strongholds they could never gain control of to get a seat in the House or the Senate unless they did gerrymander the voting district.
This year, because of the Supreme Court ruling, there are now anonymous donors throwing $20 million checks at the Republicans - and some Democrats - to buy back Congress. It's shameful how the Republicans have sold out this county. No other country in the world allows foreign companies or countries to lobby their political members - let allow buy them for hire.
Check out the latest late night jokes, cartoons and hilarious video clips from Stephen Colbert and Jon Stewart.
From Denny: There are so many funny video clips from the past two weeks that I still didn't get them all posted! I guess the "spill over" will get parked over at Dennys Funny Quotes where I enjoy dishing out irreverent commentary and grins.
Can weird get any more weird? Just in time for Halloween the Tea Party has given us a Satanic witch for a candidate. Voting sure is spiced up this season. Colbert ponders Christine O'Donnel's next weird move and crazy outburst.
Jon Stewart of The Daily Show at Comedy Central wonders about why Karl Rove was not an enthusiastic member of the Tea Party Express for witches, calling O'Donnell "nutty." Yes, there is a battle of the nutjobs in the Republican Party, wrestling for control of America's hearts and minds.
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From Denny: Betty White is enjoying her tenure at Saturday Nite Live and on funny TV ads. The woman knows how to deliver a funny line. As an actress and comedian, who knew you would receive such cool accolades from the youngest generation and suddenly become popular in your old age? We all wish for that dream! :)
SNL gave her the spotlight for the monologue, after a Facebook campaign, and she put on her Betty White comedy track shoes and ran with it. She is almost 89 years old and still going strong.
In her monologue she referenced the Facebook campaign and basically ripped on Facebook as a total time waster with a "who the hell is facebook?" cheeky grinned comment. "In my day, seeing pictures of people's vacations, was considered a punishment."
Betty White and Tina Fey together wreck conversational havoc in a census worker and crazy resident sketch. Betty plays the role of crazy resident. Of course, she nailed it with her usual deft comedic panache. It's funnier than the monologue video!
This award-winning cartoonist loves to lampoon the political atmosphere and in this video his scorching sarcastic pen spears the mark. If there is one thing I like about gifted cartoonists it's their ability to do critical thinking. Take a listen and laugh as the Tea Party crowd is yet another recipient of the Bozo Sapiens Award... :)
Balms Away! by Mark Fiore
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From Denny: Between Wall Street and the ridiculous - and that clown-filled wing nut - Republican Tea Party we have plenty to laugh at this week! Politics and finances are an endless source of revenue for comics every time they open their mouths. And how about those cartoonists? They sure know how to draw those Fat Cat Bankers and Wall Street villains.
This roundup is catching us up on the tax day quips and latest funny videos aimed at the bizarre Tea Party folks who seem to enjoy making fools of themselves while trying to denounce people who are actually working for a living.
Did you ever wonder where these Tea Party people find the time - and the money - to show up at these events? How many are retired on our taxpayer money - living on our "Socialist" dime? How many are using our taxpayer funded "Socialist" Medicare and Medicaid yet denounce it in the same breath as they take advantage of it?
How many are taking Social Security, you know, "Socialism" at its ugliest. I challenge the Social Security Tea Party folks to end their hypocrisy and put their money where their mouth is: quit taking Social Security checks every month. Voluntarily give up those checks.
Alternative option to sending those Social Security checks back to the government you despise and take for granted: Send me your Social Security checks, folks. I know how important it is to you to not be freaking hypocrites. I solemnly promise to guard that money with my very own bank account and not redistribute the wealth. :)
It is April the 15th. This is a day we all curse like Vice President Joe Biden.
President Obama released his tax return today. He didn't owe a lot in taxes. He has a lot of dependents. He's got his wife, two daughters, A.I.G., General Motors, Goldman Sachs.
Hey, you probably heard about this on the news. Now being reported that the terrorist organization Al Qaeda is in financial ruin. To give you an idea what bad shape they're in, today I saw a terrorist buying a shoe bomb at Payless.
Well, do you know this story? Toyota has stopped selling their Lexus SUV because it poses a high risk of rolling over. But according to a Zogby poll, 62 percent of Americans believe that Toyotas are safe or safer than other vehicles. The other 38 percent are still in critical condition.
A giant cloud of ash from a volcano in Iceland has stopped air traffic all across Europe. The airlines are jumping all over this. They're now charging passengers a $400 volcanic ash cloud fee.
Researchers found that you are more likely get germs from money than any other object. … Really? Then how come poor people aren't healthier?
The Obama administration's top science and technology official has warned the United States cannot expect to be No. 1 in science and technology forever. Did you know we were No. 1 now? If we're No. 1 in technology, why do I have to call India for tech support, OK?
The Pentagon says that Al Qaeda is now in financial ruin. I tell you, Goldman Sachs, they screwed everybody.
Actually, Al Qaeda should have seen it coming. You know who's in charge of the finances? Osama ben Bernanke.
Well, the big story is the president of China, Hu Jintao, I believe his name is pronounced, is in Washington this week. Boy, it's causing some controversy. You may have heard about this. President Obama was seen bowing to the Chinese leader. Well, he has to. I mean, the rent is going to be late again next month.
In fact, leaders of 40 nations are in Washington this week for the nuclear summit. And the president of China was supposed to speak first. And that caused a lot of confusion when the moderator said: 'Who's on first?' 'Yes.' 'No, who?' 'Yes.' 'No, who?' 'Yes.' And it went back and forth. It got a little confusing.
And 89-year-old supreme court justice John Paul Stevens has announced he is retiring. He's going to be 90 this year. In fact, the other Supreme Court justices have to keep reminding him to close his robe.
A woman named Sue Lowden is a Republican running for the Senate in Nevada. You know this health care thing? The Republicans are against it. She says one of the ways you can keep the cost of your health care down is to barter with your doctor. You know, trade with him. That's a great idea. But what if your doctor is not Amish? O.K., what do you do then?
According to the Pentagon, Al Qaeda is in financial ruin. Good. I think that's called Al Karma.
Well, according to the Pentagon, Al Qaeda is in financial ruin. You know why they're broke? Health insurance premiums.
Well, the big news is Supreme Court Justice John Paul Stevens is retiring. I mean, this won't affect as many Americans as when Paula left 'American Idol,' but it's still a big deal.
Tiger Woods said he would try to keep his emotions under control, but after a bad swing, he used the F-word. Who does he think he is — vice president of the United States?
In a speech, the chairman of the Republican National Committee, Michael Steele, said 'I am the first here to admit I've made mistakes.' Then the stripper giving him a lap-dance said it will still be 20 bucks.
'SNL' Mocks Tea Baggers' Outfits, Signs, And Lack Of Humor
From Comedy Central: Bill Hader made an appearance as James Carville last night on "Weekend Update," and had some fun at the Tea Baggers expense.
Referring to their dispeasure with Obama poking fun at them, Carville pretty much spelled it out: "You can't dress how you dress and not expect jokes. You're wearing colonial costumes. And not even the whole costume...Which Founding Father wore the tri-corner hat with an Orlando Magic jersey?"
From Bill Maher:
What a day for the tea party people. Did you see that? America’s parks and fairgrounds were lost in a sea of man-boobs. They were venting their anger and rage against taxes, which, of course, in most cases for them went down. Protesting their taxes went down – but you know, why let the truth spoil a perfectly good Klan rally.
Federal taxes last year when down for 98 percent of people, but when asked about this, only 12 percent of the Teabaggers thought this was the case. 88 percent of them had it wrong. And a spokesman for the Teabaggers said, 'We don’t want to just be taxed less. We want to be taxed less by a white guy.
They used the opportunity on Tax Day to come up with what they call a 'Contract From America.' Remember the 'Contract With America'? Well, this is a different set of 10 completely ridiculous ideas. Like number 4, I'm not kidding about this: 'The tax code cannot have more words than the Constitution.' You know between this and the complaints about the health care bill being too long, can we say it? It's not taxes they hate, it's reading.
Sarah Palin got an iPad and she was complaining that it's not really that absorbent.
These people wake up angry. Glenn Beck today is furious about the volcanic ash cloud from Iceland. He knows it's Obama's fault, he just can't figure out how.
This week they were very upset with Obama because he had a big nuclear summit and he apparently bowed a little to the Chinese President. For the amount of cash that we owe China, we're lucky he didn't have to kneel and blow him.
Russia has banned all adoptions to America. So if you were hoping to get a little white kid with fetal alcohol syndrome, you're going to have to wait until Lindsay Lohan reproduces.
There's a new poll that says that Pope Benedict's approval rating has dropped to 35 percent. But he has a plan to turn it around. He's going to make a Nike commercial where he just stands there and takes shit from Tiger Woods' dad.
This week Obama has decided to followed in Bush's footsteps and promise that we are going to go to Mars. What is it with Mars that just captures presidential imagination? For Obama, I guess it's the hope of a new frontier. For Bush, it was the likelihood of exploitable resources. And for Clinton it was the possibility of green p**sy.
Colbert Mocks Hipsters For Shunning Census
From Colbert: According to a recent NPR report, many Williamsburg-based hipsters have refused to fill out the census, calling it a form that "relatively has nothing to do with your life."
But Colbert jokingly referred to it as a "a master stroke by the scruffy trend-setters. By not filling out the census, the government will dedicate fewer resources to their neighborhood, thereby causing it to decay, thereby increasing the neighborhood's hipster cred."
He's on to their game. If only he could see their band.
Here in California, our attorney general said he's going to investigate whether a university foundation that hired Sarah Palin to give a speech violated public disclosure laws. They had some controversy. Some students found her contract rider in a dumpster. That is a list of demands a performer has when they appear somewhere. Usually you see them for, like, rock stars, but Sarah Palin has one, I guess. Among other things, Palin's rider requires two first-class tickets from Alaska or a private jet from Alaska, nothing smaller than a Lear 60, and it has to have a window she can shoot out of.
She has to have three hotel rooms, a wooden podium, not plexiglass, two bottles of water, and best of all, I think, a supply of bendable straws. This is a complicated woman. On one hand, you know, she'll blow a moose's head off at 300 yards, but on the other, bendy straws.
Tomorrow, President Obama will be in Florida to announce his vision for America's space program. The rumor is that he is going to reverse President Bush's space policy, which centered on sending a giant caulk gun to the moon to fill all the craters up.
The first man on the moon, Neil Armstrong, sent a letter to Obama criticizing him because he's expected to cut funding for manned space flights. And he even helped spearhead this ad campaign that I guess is designed to convince President Obama to change his mind on this. 'For nearly half a century, the United States has been a world leader in exploring the final frontier: First to the moon, inspiring a nation, and paving the way for countless advancements in science. President Obama's plan to cut NASA's budget means never again will Americans see astronauts suck Jell-O through a straw, eat floating bananas, or doing funny experiments with a frog. Write President Obama. Don't let these super fun times come to an end. This message paid for by astronauts who love super fun times in space.' Powerful stuff.
Tomorrow is the day to mail in your tax returns, which means tonight is the night to start making fake receipts.
We may have another Oprah on our hands. Since leaving her job as the governor of Alaska, Sarah Palin has made more than $12 million. That is a lot of money for someone who can't say words that end in 'g.'
And they say $12 million is a conservative estimate. She may have made a lot more, and yet, she continues to blame Obama for the bad economy. It seems — weird, right?
The figure is a little bit misleading because most of that money is Alaskan currency, which is primarily made up of pelts and shiny rocks.
I watched so much golf this weekend. Tiger finished in 4th place, which means he only won $330,000, which is barely enough to pay his text messaging bill.
Tiger's obviously under a lot of stress. It's very difficult to play when you have a padlock on your underpants.
In a statement released this week, Pope Benedict said that he has forgiven the Beatles for John Lennon's claim that they were bigger than Jesus and for their Rock & Roll excesses – in the clearest sign yet that the Vatican is working from the bottom of the complaint box.
This is a bizarre moment. The crowd doesn't quite know what to make of the mocking humor from the rap band on stage. Talk about out of touch:
It's fitting that April 14 is National Pecan Day because today, we recognize nuts. And tomorrow, on April 15, we pay our taxes to support them.
A pecan tree can live for 300 years and when they're old and gnarled, they can still bear fruit. They're like the tree world's Larry King.
"Scientists are saying that eating pecans every day may decrease your cholesterol. So in case they're right, I wrap all of my pecans in bacon.
It's a great day for America, everybody. Yes, it is! But not a great day for former Vice President Al Gore. He was ambushed for an interview by Fox News. What's wrong with you, Fox News? You don't ambush him. If you want to get Al Gore for an interview, you don't have to ambush him. Just leave a trail of ham into the studio.
It was announced today that Conan O'Brien has a new talk show on TBS and a lot of people are asking how it will affect this show. It will not — people that watch this show cannot afford basic cable.
KFC restaurants have unveiled the 'Double Down,' which is two slabs of fried chicken with bacon in the middle. Why not — we all have free health insurance.
In an interview with GQ Magazine, Lou Dobbs said he’s considering running for president. Hey, stranger things have happened — Lou Dobbs being in GQ Magazine being one of them.
There’s a new comic book coming out about Arnold Schwarzenegger’s life. In the comic, Arnold battles his life-long nemesis: words.
A town in Tennessee elected a dead man as its mayor. Finally, a politician who won't cheat on his wife.
At a Tea Party rally in Boston yesterday, Sarah Palin praised the crowd for winning that Senate race in Massachusetts. She said: 'Shoot, look at what you did in January. You shook up the United States Senate.' Unfortunately, no one heard the Senate thing, because after she said 'shoot,' 300 guns went off.
At the same rally, Sarah Palin said: 'Let me ask you, Massachusetts. Do you love your freedom?' Is anyone going to say 'no' to that? It's like going to a Phish show and saying, 'Anyone here like getting high and eating grilled cheese?'
President Obama is launching a new $6 billion space policy that will ultimately take astronauts to Mars. Of course, it's $6 billion and $45 if the astronauts have a carry-on.
Obama says the new $6 billion program will let us engage in deeper space exploration, while Biden says this will let us engage in open dialogue with Alf.
Yahoo is producing a daily video series, based on its most popular news stories, in partnership with Toyota. Of course, they're having a tough time getting the site up because it always ends up crashing.
This Friday is the deadline for mailing in your Census form. People all around the country put down how many people live in their houses — while Tiger Woods and Jesse James put 'kind of a tricky situation right now.'
President Obama announced that in 2012 he's going to hold his next nuclear security summit at a site in South Korea, right near the North Korean border. Seriously? That's like if you held a biker chick rally right across the street from Jesse James's rehab facility. You're asking for trouble.
Speaking of North Korea, I just read about a state-run comedy show in North Korea where the audience is ordered to laugh. It's called 'Funny or Actually Die.'
There's a rumor going around that Hillary Clinton could be Obama's choice for the next Supreme Court justice. That's a lifetime appointment that would take up all of her time, or as Bill Clinton calls it, 'She'll take it.'
Some more news out of Washington. Vice President Joe Biden hosted a big lunch today with foreign leaders at the Naval Observatory. Unfortunately, he spent the entire time asking everyone to observe his navel.
I just heard that CNN is hoping to spice up the show 'Anderson Cooper 360″ by adding a live audience. After that, they're hoping to spice up 'Larry King Live' by adding a live Larry King.
Barry Bonds said he is 'proud' of Mark McGwire for returning to baseball. And it really means a lot coming from Bonds — it's like Tiger Woods getting a high five at the Masters from Jesse James.
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From Denny: We're catching up with the April Fools Day and Easter jokes. In foreign policy news: The President Bush puppet, President Karzai of Afghanistan, now a rebel puppet towards President Obama, has bird bombed America recently.
Lots of chatter about the Census choices of racial and ethnic group choices - and plenty of humor about the militias and Tea Party folks writing in their own choices. The Republicans - and their various shocking sex scandals of using political funds to pay for sex escapades - continues to keep on giving to the comics, including funny videos from David Letterman and Jon Stewart to entertain you.
And the Catholic Church and its enablers continue to be tone deaf about the sex abuse, still they don't accept true accountability. The entire Catholic clergy needs to go on a seven-year long extreme fast to tame their bad attitudes and open their hearts to the suffering they have caused and enabled. While they are at it they need to lose the fancy vestments that puff up their egos into thinking they can display the king mentality: "They will get nothing and like it!"
Tiger Woods returns to the professional golf circuit. Did any of you see the news footage of him at practice on the golf course with the gallery in the background? Did anyone wonder why they were so adoring? The word is Woods has hired a public relations firm to rehabilitate his reputation. So... perhaps those people in the gallery were there just for show, playing to the news media that the public doesn't mind Tiger's bizarre antics and everything is just fine now...? Read that as just more fantasy world from Tiger Woods. I wonder how many more "mistresses" will appear just in time to titillate the yellow journalism media when the Masters tournament begins...
From David Letterman:
Census time, ladies and gentlemen. President Obama filled out his Census. I felt bad for the guy. Like he needs another reminder that he lives with his mother-in-law.
Here's a fascinating story. The Republican National Committee got together and said, 'You know, boys, things are going so well for us here lately, let's have a party.' So they said, 'Well, yeah, but we don't want to pay for it.' And they said: 'No. We'll get the Republican National Committee to pay for it — money that we get from donations and contributions. We'll let the folks pay for it.' And everybody said, 'Great, what do we do?' And they said, 'Well, let's go to Los Angeles to a sex club.' And they said, 'Great!' So they end up there at a bondage club in Los Angeles. And I thought that makes perfect sense because Republicans love tying things up: health care, you know; climate control; financial reform.
Now here's a fascinating story. And this kind of thing happens all the time. But every time it happens, we always say, 'Whoa, here we go.' The Republican National Committee had a big party at some kind of a sex club in Los Angeles. They spent $2,000 of campaign donation money on the bill at the sex club in Los Angeles. But the guy who organized the big Republican sex party apologized on the Golf Channel, so that's good.
Pamela Anderson on 'Dancing with the Stars'. You know who else is on 'Dancing with the Stars'? Former astronaut Buzz Aldrin. Pam Anderson and Buzz Aldrin. Honest to God, it looks like a Republican ticket.
David Letterman's Top Ten Republican National Committee Excuses
10. 'We're fat, dumb, rich guys, nuff said?'
9. 'Thought 'SM' door was Sen. McCain's office'
8. 'It wasn't a sex club, just a regular club where grown men tickle each other'
7. 'Scott Brown raved about the place'
6. 'The Sheraton's meeting rooms were already booked'
5. 'I'm sorry, Ricky Martin is gay?'
4. 'Abraham Lincoln routinely spent $2,000 a night in sex clubs'
3. 'We're fat, dumb, rich guys, nuff said?'
2. 'If we can't spend donor money at a sex club, the terrorists have won'
1. 'Research for pending legislation 'No Stripper Left Behind''
Did you hear about this? President Obama, big surprise visit to see the folks in Afghanistan. Did you read all about that? That's kind of exciting. It turns out he was shooting an episode of 'Undercover Boss.'
He met with Afghanistan President Hamid Karzai, but Karzai was late for the meeting. You know why he was late for the meeting? He had transportation trouble. The accelerator on his camel.
This was an important meeting. Both presidents agreed that we have to work to wipe out terror networks. Get rid of terror networks, like Al Qaeda, the Taliban, Fox News.
Obama demanded more accountability. He said we got to have more accountability, we got to have a crackdown on corruption; we have to have a better government. And he said if it works in Afghanistan, we're going to try it back home in the United States.
You know who is out campaigning now again? John McCain and his buddy Sarah Palin. I mean, come on, it worked so well the last time.
Sarah Palin was campaigning in a, you know, a motorcycle jacket. She looks like somebody Jesse James would date.
David Letterman's Top Ten Highlights of President Obama's Trip To Afghanistan
10. The welcoming chants of "Death to America!"
9. Using miles to get bumped up to business class
8. Picking up sexy negligee for Michelle at "Mahboba's Secret"
7. Playing a little 1-on-1 with Hamid Karzai
6. Seeing "Hot Tub Time Machine" dubbed in Pashto
5. Military demonstration on new secret weapon: ground-to-air-goat
4. The splendor of Kabul in the springtime
3. Catching Jon Lovitz at new Kandahar comedy club "Laffghanistan"
2. Spotting a confused John McCain arguing with a falafel
1. Leaving Afghanistan
David Letterman has fun with the RNC sex scandal version of a tickle club:
From Jimmy Kimmel:
Some people aren't sending their census forms because they're angry at the government, which is dumb because the census is how we figure out who gets represented. So if you don't send in your form, your state gets fewer congressmen. Which, come to think of it, maybe none of us should send in our forms because no congressmen seems like the perfect number, really.
When it comes to taxes, there are two types of people. There are those that get it done early, also known as psychopaths, and then the rest of us.
Thursday is Census deadline day. The census would like every resident of the United States to fill out their form and mail it in. If you don't know how many people live in your house, just count the number of iPods.
And remember, you know, the Census Bureau sends a Census taker to any home that doesn't reply by mail. So unless you want to have a conversation with another human being, you better get that in.
Former Gov. Sarah Palin has been very busy. She's been campaigning for select Republicans, including John McCain, who's in the middle of a tough Senate race in Arizona. How does he introduce her? 'And now, the young woman who cost me the presidency, Sarah Palin!'
This week, President Obama issued a proclamation declaring it Cesar Chavez Day. So this week was both Passover and Cesar Chavez Day. See, one holiday celebrates the flight of the Jewish people from Egypt to Israel, the other celebrates the flight of Mexican people from Tijuana to Los Angeles.
President Obama announced this week that he is opening more sites for offshore oil drilling. Do you know what that means? If we find enough oil, we could one day invade ourselves.
This is my favorite story of the week. The Republican National Committee is in trouble after spending nearly $2,000 at a bondage club in Hollywood. You know what I call a Republican that spends a lot of money in a strip club? A Democrat.
In fact, one eyewitness said 'some of the things going on in the club were almost too masochistic for the Republicans to watch.' Like in one room, there was a video being played over and over of President Obama signing the healthcare bill.
Because it's Easter, Catholic priests have been hearing confession all week — mostly from other Catholic priests,
Today is April 1, April Fools' Day, a day that people try to fool their friends and relatives. Don't confuse that with April 15, when people try to fool the IRS.
Well, earlier today, President Obama canceled the annual White House Easter Egg Hunt. Instead, the kids are going to be on the lawn of the White House drilling for oil.
Well, here's some good news for us. Iran's top nuclear scientist has defected to the CIA and is now here in the United States. He's now on our side. And he had some frightening information. He said Iran was just weeks away from developing their very own Toyota Prius.
It looks like Sarah Palin will be doing some kind of reality show on cable. They say her exact role on the show is unknown, kind of like when she campaigned for McCain.
Did you see John McCain with Sarah Palin next to him over the weekend? At first I thought it was Buzz Aldrin on 'Dancing with the Stars.'
The chairman of the Republican National Committee, Michael Steele – you probably heard about this – he got in a lot of trouble. I guess they dropped over $2,000 to staffers at a topless bondage theme nightclub right here in Hollywood. And what's the Republicans' big issue right now? Isn't it – oh, yeah – cutting down on wasteful spending?
Michael Steele. Doesn't he sound like he would be a dancer at a bondage theme nightclub?
Vice President Joe Biden did it again. He showed up at the White House Seder last night with a bunch of ham sandwiches.
Well, according to 'Newsweek,' the FBI now says Osama bin Laden is healthy and giving the orders once again for al Qaeda. Today, Republicans blamed it on the new healthcare bill.
First Lady Michelle Obama attended the Kids' Choice Awards over the weekend. See, I don't think the President had ever seen that show. Like, when she got home, the President asked Michelle how it went. She said there was a lot of slime. And President Obama said, 'Fox News was there?'
President Obama made a surprise visit to Afghanistan this past weekend. I guess after the last 14 months in Washington, he wanted to go someplace where there was less fighting.
Pretty quick trip. In fact, it happened so fast, Joe Biden didn't even have a chance to say something stupid about it.
And, as you know, the people have spoken, but health care passed anyway.
Congress is now preparing to pass yet another jobs bill. You know how to create more jobs in this country? Fire the people that wrote the first jobs bill. That obviously didn't work.
Osama bin Laden has released a new audiotape in which he threatens to kill Americans. You know, as opposed to his earlier, new-age motivational tape.
Well, the FBI is now saying that Al Qaeda may be planning an attack on a U.S. sports stadium. See, I don't think Al Qaeda, though, has any idea about our sports. You know what their big plan is? To hit Wrigley Field during the World Series.
And over in Afghanistan, the U.S. military is now using pilotless drones to attack Al Qaeda. Do you know what those are? It's a plane that doesn't have any pilot. It's flown by remote control by somebody on the ground. Or as Southwest calls that, 'the next step.'
Sarah Palin had a weekend for her: Changing diapers; opening up jars of baby food; cutting meat into little pieces. Just another day campaigning with John McCain.
And unemployment in Florida hit a record high of 12.2 percent. You want to know how bad it is down there? Today, the Coast Guard picked up 50 Cubans off the coast of Miami trying to swim back to Cuba.
Jon Stewart heckles the GOP lesbian bondage club scandal. Republican politics just keeps on giving to the comedy world. You can't make up this stuff! Why bother? The Republicans hand it to you on a silver platter. :)
Do you know in Switzerland, in Geneva, scientists are celebrating? They have a multimillion-dollar atom-smasher that has given us new information on how the universe began. Couldn't these scientists save some money and just ask Larry King?
During a fundraising trip to California, some young Republicans took the Republican Party credit card to a club in Hollywood that has nude dancers doing bondage shows. Usually when Republicans find themselves in dark rooms with whips and chains, it's in Dick Cheney's basement.
It must be very embarrassing for the people involved. I'm sure the strippers didn't want anyone to know they were hanging out with politicians.
At least it was the young Republicans that did this. Could you imagine Bob Dole and John McCain walking in there?
Republican donors aren't happy about this. It's not fair that rich Republicans spend huge amounts of money at sex clubs and poor Republicans have to go to airport bathrooms.
President Obama's controversial new energy policy to destroy the Atlantic coast's continental shelf. Read that as move to higher ground, folks, the ocean is coming your way within 30 years just like in Louisiana as the oil companies create massive pot holes in the earth's crust and the natural gas companies depletes that pocket of gas that used to hold up the land your house is sitting on top of there, creating yet more sink holes. Does the greed and political enabling/pandering ever stop?
Today is April Fools' Day, that day of the year when you can't get anyone to believe anything you say — or as Gov. Paterson calls it, 'Any day.'
As part of an April Fools' Day prank, Google renamed itself 'Topeka.' As part of a really desperate prank, Yahoo renamed itself 'Google.'
During a speech at the White House, President Obama said that 'teleworking' from home can boost efficiency. Kind of interesting advice from a guy who just flew 13 hours to Afghanistan to say 'what's up.'
Hey, you guys, baseball season starts next week. And President Obama is going to throw out the first pitch at the Nationals game. Meanwhile, Joe Biden will be on hand to make the first error.
You guys hear about this? Sarah Palin has a new Fox News series, which is being described as a show about people with real-life tales of overcoming adversity. Hey, she should do a story about that guy who became the first black president. That would be a good story. Think about that one.
On the 'Today' show this morning, President Obama said that adjustments will need to be made to the new healthcare law. In fact, it's getting so many adjustments, Obama's now calling it the Heidi Montag of congressional bills.
In the same interview, President Obama said that his family has decided not to join any one, single church, because he causes too much of a disruption at services. At the last service, the priest was like, 'In the name of the Father, the Son and holy cow, the President!'
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From Denny: Cartoonists had a field day when the Health Care Reform bill passed, most of them in favor. They even did a special section on the issue of health care and past Presidents. While most of us in America and outside America, especially rightfully so very self-righteous Canada who rolls their eyes at this excuse for national health care, well, we all are under-whelmed at what was finally passed. Everyone in America is holding our collective breath to see how this actually plays out.
Read that as "So, who gets screwed first?" Hopefully, it's the stingy rich who have screwed over the middle class from two stolen Presidential elections, Big Banks screwing over homeowners on their mortgages and charging outrageous high interest rates on their credit cards, a rigged stock market and collusion among oil and gas companies to continue to price gouge the public at the gas pump.
I would hope the Obama administration does not take its eye off the ball here and continues to pass legislation or issue Presidential directives or whatever it takes to fine tune the American health care system. Right now all this bill has accomplished is to hold it together with some semblance of order by using crazy glue. Not including the public option was a serious error. Congress will need to revisit that idea within a few years as the Baby Boomer generation starts aging rapidly.
There is no excuse to see young families living in shelters or past war veterans living under bridges because the cost of living has risen more rapidly and continually in relation to what jobs are paying - primarily from greedy insurance companies escalating car, home, business and health insurance premiums.
Just this week cartoonists have began to hammer the religious sex scandals, especially Pope Benedict. It's interesting to see Karma come back to roost on the Church's former Enforcer of the Faith. Read that as "the worm has turned." His harshness from past decades and a cavalier attitude toward the abused has brought abuse to roost up close and personal. The people who continue to enable abuse in any organization need to be arrested, tried and jailed as much as the actual abusers in my book. There is no excuse why a child anywhere in the world does not have the right to reasonably expect safety from murderers and sexual deviants during their growing up years.
China continues to demand internet search engines like Google censor their searches. Read that as that government does not want their citizens to finally figure out just how much they are being lied to. Pssst! Guess what, China, I think they already know. No one is that stupid or naive.
Oh, yeah, and Karl Rove's rich handlers paid him to write yet another Book of Lies about the Bush years, hoping to avoid future prosecution for high crimes and misdemeanors. Speaking of misdemeanors, remember those Republicans who committed a felony by bugging the federal office of Louisiana Senator Mary Landrieu in my home state? Well, the fix is in with all those Republican conservative judges Bush and Cheney put in place and the deal was made to knock the felony down to a misdemeanor for the son of a federal judge. Our government at work, our corrupt government left in place by corrupt Republicans. And they still own the Supreme Court with their favorite puppets Chief Justice Roberts (the biggest suck-up I've ever seen. Oh, excuse me, the GOP calls it "ambitious.") and Justices Scalia, Thomas and Alito.
And, in the news every week now, because the media so loves their exaggerated villains and wingnuts to get people to tune in and watch or read the news, is that weirdo Tea Party. I've provided a link to a news story over at Dennys Global Politics at the end of this post for you to see the latest weirdness coming from that sector.
You will enjoy these cartoons as they are outstanding this week, enjoy!
*** ALSO be sure to check out the latest weird news about the Tea Party over at Dennys Global Politics. It's the last story in the post. You will also enjoy the funny short video of the comics reviewing the news of the week:
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