From Denny: How about a lovin' spoonful of funny marriage quotes today? I had no idea when I started researching this category that I would find an abundance of opinion and quotes!
In fact, it seems men and women have been commenting upon their relationships for thousands of years as Chinese philosopher, and founder of Taoism, Lao Tze from 500 BC, even weighed in on marriage. The Greek philosophers Aristotle and Socrates mouthed off as well, though most eloquently. :)
Quotes
* A dress that zips up the back will bring a husband and wife together. - James H. Boren
* Marriage is like the army. Everybody complains, but you'd be surprised at how many re-enlist. – Anonymous
* In marriage, as in war, it is permitted to take every advantage of the enemy. – Anonymous
* Keep your eyes wide open before marriage - and half-shut afterwards. – Benjamin Franklin
* Long engagements give people the opportunity of finding out each other's character before marriage - which is never advisable. – Oscar Wilde
* A husband is what is left of a lover - after the nerve has been extracted. - Helen Rowland
* Marriage is three parts love and seven parts forgiveness of sins. – Lao Tze, Chinese philosopher, founder of Taoism, wrote Tao Te Ching, 600 BC – 531 BC
* A wedding is just like a funeral except that you get to smell your own flowers. - Grace Hansen
* If you want to sacrifice the admiration of many men for the criticism of one, go ahead, get married. - actres Katharine Hepburn
* Marriage is like a bank account. You put it in, you take it out, you lose interest. - Irwin Corey
* A psychiatrist asks a lot of expensive questions your wife asks for nothing. - Joey Adams
* Marriage is a wonderful invention: then again, so is a bicycle repair kit. - Billy Connolly
* All marriages are happy. It's the living together afterward that causes all the trouble. - Raymond Hull
* Bachelors know more about women than married men; if they didn't they'd be married too. - H. L. Mencken
* I have great hopes that we shall love each other all our lives as much as if we had never married at all. - Lord Byron
* He's the kind of man a woman would have to marry - to get rid of. - Mae West, actress and vaudeville comic
* If you made a list of reasons why any couple got married, and another list of the reasons for their divorce, you'd have a hell of a lot of overlapping. - Mignon McLaughlin
* I've been married to one Marxist and one Fascist, and neither one would take out the garbage. – actress Lee Grant
* In olden times sacrifices were made at the altar - a practice which is still continued. - Helen Rowland
* A wedding anniversary is the celebration of love, trust, partnership, tolerance and tenacity. The order varies for any given year. - Paul Sweeney
* Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open. - George Bernard Shaw
* Marriage is a bribe to make the housekeeper think she's a householder. - Thornton Wilder
* Marriage - a book of which the first chapter is written in poetry and the remaining chapters in prose. - Beverley Nichols
* If you want to read about love and marriage, you've got to buy two separate books. - Alan King
* Marriage is an adventure, like going to war. - writer Gilbert K. Chesterton
* Marriage is nature's way of keeping us from fighting with strangers. - Alan King
Photo by TimWilson @ flickr
Thanks for visiting, everyone! Have a great work week and keep chuckling!
relationships, men and women, Society and Culture, Cheeky Quotes Day, cheeky quotes, Funny Quotes, Dennys Funny Quotes, marriage, marriage quotes, Thorton Wilder, Lao Tze, George Bernard Shaw, Oscar Wilde, Alan King, Lord Byron, H. L. Mencken, Benjamin Franklin, and most importantly: Anonymous, without whom so many quotes would have never been published...! :)
