26 March 2012

Rush Limbaugh: 3 Funny Colbert, Stewart Videos, Late Nite Jokes





From Denny:  Did you hear?  Today another advertiser turned tail and ran away from Rush Limbaugh.  This time it was Kohler, manufacturer of those stylish faucets and other kitchen and bath fixtures.  That makes 143 advertisers, with about 9 left in his smelly pervert corner.


Of course, I'm sitting in a diner having lunch today in the red state of Louisiana, with the channel tuned to the ridiculous Fox News, and who is featured?  


You guessed it, Fat Boy Blowhard Rush Limbaugh.  The amusing thing is that the love affair with Fox News and Rush Limbaugh is waning even here in the deep South.  "Can I Tell Ya?" that the only person watching the screen was the liberal blogger in the room.  Everyone else was treating Rush like he is so last year fashionista.



Meanwhile, Limbaugh is whining away as to how the liberals are succeeding in their attacks against him.  Then, one of his remaining advertisers, Mark Stevens of marketing firm MSCO, accuses anyone who boycotts Limbaugh of being childish.  Childish?  Limbaugh supporters are beyond annoying for being angry that the abused are vomiting up their relentless attacks.  


Why should the victimized be bullied into buying their products?  Then he goes on to claim the boycotts against his business are examples of "internal American terrorism."  Did these guys fry their brains on too much fluoride in the water?


Of course, my funny husband offers up, "Well, watch Rush fight for his life.  He made such a mess of everything when he double-downed the next day after his attack on Fluke.  This guy sure isn't very smart."  To which I replied, "Since he doesn't care about us; I don't care about him. Let him slide down into oblivion."  Then we looked at each other, shrugged off The Rush Troubles as just another day in the blogging world and grinned.


Rush is on his second week of suspended advertising and things sure don't look good.  People like me and the public are just waiting to pounce if those advertisers come back and start back up like it's the old days and back to odious normal.  


Limbaugh's "brain" is just now starting to understand his day in the sun is finished for good.  He's nuclear, in Republican parlance.  Turn out the lights, Rush; the party's over.


On the other radio talk show hosts news front, apparently, there is great sensitivity now for them to watch what they say.  An industry site reported how just some local talk show guys were losing their jobs within hours of saying something stupid and considered controversial for advertisers.  


One sportscaster called three athletes "the three monkeys."  He was out the door and in the parking lot looking for a job as soon as his show was finished.  He claimed it was a compliment and not a slur.  Looks like no one believed him any more than they did Limbaugh's lame excuses that he was trying to be humorous when he attacked Fluke.


And be sure to check out Occupy Rush Limbaugh, new ads paid for by Media Matters, to the tune of $100,000.  You can listen to the spots over at the link.  The ads urge everyone to contact their local Limbaugh radio affiliate and protest the airing of the Rush Limbaugh show.  I so like these guys.  :)


AP story here that talks about how the new ads targeting Rush came about:  
Radio campaign next step against Rush Limbaugh
Meanwhile, be sure to enjoy the funny jokes collected from the late night show guys with a few funny irreverent videos from Stephen Colbert and Jon Stewart.







From Jay Leno:

As you know, President Obama has outlawed torture. Although, he said, 'After listening to Rush Limbaugh, maybe I was a little too hasty.'


It's getting nasty now between President Obama and Rush Limbaugh. In fact, Limbaugh told his radio audience he's not going to 'bend over' and grab his ankles just because Barack Obama is black. Well, you know, let's take race out of it for a minute. Now, honestly, regardless of who's president, do you think there's any chance in hell Rush Limbaugh could bend over and grab his ankles?


Al Qaeda has unleashed a stream of verbal attacks against President Obama, calling him names and saying his policies will all end in failure. Well, who do these people think they are, Rush Limbaugh?


Rush Limbaugh got married for the fourth time on Saturday. He's 59; she's 33. So, I'm doing the math. That means when she's 40, he'll be on wife No. 7.


What is it with Republicans and Viagra? First Bob Dole, he was doing the ads for Viagra. Now you got Rush Limbaugh. Say what you want about Bill Clinton, but the man was always there to answer the call, ladies and gentlemen.









Rush Limp-baugh was detained for more than three hours at the Palm Beach Airport after officials found a bottle of Viagra in his possesion with someone else's name on it. Oooooooooooh. How ironic is that: the one Republican with a plan to get cheap prescription drugs and they try to arrest him.


Happy birthday to Rush Limbaugh. He's 55 years old. You have to give Rush credit... He's probably the only Republican in the country with a cheap prescription drug plan.


Rush Limbaugh and his third wife has broken up. Apparently, she came home early and found him with their pharmacist.


Pretty ironic, that the only Republican with a prescription drug plan is Rush Limbaugh. Actually today Rush said he would have no comment on his drug problem until he could figure out a way to blame it on the Clintons.


Rush Limbaugh spoke out on the Iraqi prison pictures situation today. He said it's entirely generated by the media. What? Is this guy on drugs?





Monday March 5, 2012

Rush Limbaugh Apologizes to Sandra Fluke

The lamestream media jumps down Rush Limbaugh's throat for calling one woman he never met a "slut" and a "prostitute," and 12 advertisers pull support from his show.











From Bill Maher:


Rush Limbaugh has lost so many advertisers that on Thursday there was five minutes on his show of dead air. And most observers agree he's never been so eloquent.


Rush Limbaugh is in trouble. Prosecutors say that they have enough evidence to put him away on 10 felony counts. This would be the biggest blow to the conservative movement since Anne Coulter announced she had a penis.


Rush Limbaugh has lost so many advertisers that on Thursday there was five minutes on his show of dead air. And most observers agree he’s never been so eloquent. 


I thought the election was gonna be all about the economy. But the economy started doing better. So Republicans went to plan b: calling women whores.

This woman [Sandra Fluke] got a call today from then President. President Obama called her to thank her for her testimony. And then President Clinton called Obama to get her number. 

Rush Limbaugh: four wives he’s had – no children. Dude, you are birth control.














From Craig Ferguson:
  
Rush Limbaugh got married over the weekend. This is actually his fourth marriage; he blames the first three breakups on Obama.


You know who sang at Rush Limbaugh's wedding? Elton John! According to Rush, gay people can sing at weddings. Just not their own.


Rush Limbaugh says if the healthcare bill passes, he will leave the country. The Democrats are upset, because if they knew that, they would have passed the bill years ago.


Did you hear that Rush Limbaugh's Manhattan penthouse is on the market for $14 million? It's an amazing property. Over 4,000 square feet. And that's just the medicine cabinet.


In Washington, in response to President Obama's stimulus package, Rush Limbaugh proposed his own stimulus package. That's true. You see, that's what this country needs. What we need is a stimulus package proposed by a fat DJ. That's what's going to set the country back on track. Actually, Rush Limbaugh's stimulus package is just a package containing a big bottle of stimulant.




Thursday March 15, 2012

Rush Limbaugh Loses More Sponsors

The Army is pulling out of Rush Limbaugh's radio show due to Rush's sexist comments -- but they are staying in Afghanistan.






From David Letterman:


How about that Rush Limbaugh? It was nice for me to see somebody else apologizing for something for a change.

Don't kid yourself, Rush is in a lot of trouble. He's down to two national sponsors. You know what they are? One is Crisco, and the other is Hostess Twinkies.



Rush Limbaugh is losing advertisers. Crisco was one and then he lost Hostess Cupcakes. Now the only advertiser Rush has left on his radio show is Conrad Murray's Sleep Clinic.


Rush Limbaugh got married over the weekend, and right about now I think he's probably on a Viagra drip. He married a much younger woman. The honeymoon went well. Mrs. Limbaugh was able to dial 911 while trapped under Rush. 


Here now is the official Rush Limbaugh wedding announcement. Rush Limbaugh wed Kathryn Rogers in a quiet Florida ceremony on Saturday. The bridegroom is a controversial radio host and an influential opinion leader in the conservative movement in the United States. The bride is clearly insane.


Rush Limbaugh was arrested at an airport because he had illegal Viagra. So apparently, Dick Cheney isn't the only Republican who's locked and loaded.


Rush Limbaugh is now in rehabilitation and it's going well. It's interesting, one minute you're Rush Limbaugh, great conservative radio talk show host, and the next day you're standing in line with other patients waiting for Darryl Strawberry's autograph.




And for everyone who lives on the Gulf Coast like I do and are still "enjoying" the gift that keeps on giving - the BP oil spill clogging the ocean floor and washing up on to our shores no matter how many millions of dollars they spend on advertising to sell it otherwise -> -> -> -> ->:
















From Stephen Colbert: 


The Army is pulling out of Rush. Meanwhile, they're staying in Afghanistan to negotiate with the Taliban, who evidently have a better track record on women's issues. – Stephen Colbert, on the U.S. Army pulling ads from Rush Limbaugh's radio show


This is America. We must defend the principles symbolized by Lady Liberty – unless she's on the pill, in which case, she is a giant green tramp.


If you want to avoid getting pregnant there is only one surefire way: be a man.


Good point, Rush. She's a slut and a prostitute? That's two jobs and she still can't afford her own birth control? Come on. – on the Sandra Fluke controversy





From Jon Stewart:


Rush Limbaugh is a drug freak. Apparently, he was able to lose the 'big fat' part but not the 'idiot' part.








From Jimmy Fallon:


Congratulations to Rush Limbaugh, who got married for the fourth time on Saturday. It was so romantic — so romantic. First, the couple wrote their own vows and then they wrote their own prescriptions.






From Tina Fey:


After a week of speculation in the press, Rush Limbaugh admitted that he is addicted to pain killers and I'm sorry to say, hoagies. Limbaugh blames his addiction on a botched back operation and lesbians.











From Craig Kilborn:


Rush Limbaugh and his wife are divorcing and experts say this could get ugly. I'm confused, are they splitting up or having sex?




The Vulgar Games - Republican Policy Routine

Following Rush Limbaugh's Fluke-slut diatribe, Kristen Schaal discovers that Republican policies speak even louder to women than their conservative radio jerks.







Something to ponder when it comes to political parties:













And remember what really counts in life:








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