Cheeky Quote Day! 12 August 2009

Photo by Tansan @ flickr

From Denny: For today's funny and ironic quotes it seems I hit the Mother Lode! In my research I ran across an additional category of Back to School quotes that was most amusing to add to the original idea of the Education category. Parents and kids are going back to school this week in Louisiana, very early in order to make room for any lost days due to hurricanes or if there is a flu outbreak. With some of those frazzled nerves out there from all the pressure of working AND getting kids back to school a few grins were in order...



If there were no schools to take the children away from home part of the time, the insane asylums would be filled with mothers. - Edgar W. Howe

Being a child at home alone in the summer is a high-risk occupation. If you call your mother at work thirteen times an hour, she can hurt you. - Erma Bombeck

Labor Day is a glorious holiday because your child will be going back to school the next day. It would have been called Independence Day, but that name was already taken. - Bill Dodds

You send your child to the schoolmaster, but 'tis the schoolboys who educate him. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

The surest way to corrupt a youth is to instruct him to hold in higher esteem those who think alike than those who think differently. - Friedrich Nietzsche

As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in schools. - Anonymous

I like a teacher who gives you something to take home to think about besides homework. - Lily Tomlin as "Edith Ann"

Often, when I am reading a good book, I stop and thank my teacher. That is, I used to, until she got an unlisted number. - Anonymous

There are three good reasons to be a teacher - June, July, and August. - Anonymous

What we want is to see the child in pursuit of knowledge, and not knowledge in pursuit of the child. - George Bernard Shaw

A professor is someone who talks in someone else's sleep. - W.H. Auden

A cross-eyed teacher can keep twice the number of children in order than any other, because the pupils do not know who she's looking at. - Four Hundred Laughs: Or, Fun Without Vulgarity, compiled and edited by John R. Kemble, 1902

Anyone who thinks the art of conversation is dead ought to tell a child to go to bed. - Robert Gallagher

The only person who is educated is the one who has learned how to learn - and change. - Carl Rogers

My education was only interrupted by my schooling. – Winston Churchill

I have never let my schooling interfere with my education. - Mark Twain

It doesn't make much difference what you study, as long as you don't like it. - Finley Peter Dunne

Education is what remains after one has forgotten what one has learned in school. - Albert Einstein

If you think education is expensive, try ignorance. - Attributed to both Andy McIntyre and Derek Bok



It is a miracle that curiosity survives formal education. – Albert Einstein

Education aims to give you a boost up the ladder of knowledge. Too often, it just gives you a cramp on one of its rungs. - Martin H. Fischer

Education would be much more effective if its purpose was to ensure that by the time they leave school every boy and girl should know how much they do not know, and be imbued with a lifelong desire to know it. - William Haley

Education is an admirable thing, but it is well to remember from time to time that nothing worth knowing can be taught. - Oscar Wilde, "The Critic as Artist," 1890

When a subject becomes totally obsolete we make it a required course. - Peter Drucker

Education is learning what you didn't even know you didn't know. - Daniel J. Boorstin, Democracy and Its Discontents

The founding fathers... provided jails called schools, equipped with tortures called education. School is where you go between when your parents can't take you and industry can't take you. ~ John Updike, The Centaur, 1963



You learn something every day if you pay attention. - Ray LeBlond

I am always ready to learn although I do not always like being taught. - Winston Churchill

Education is the silver bullet. Education is everything. We don't need little changes, we need gigantic revolutionary changes. Schools should be palaces. Competition for the best teachers should be fierce. They should be getting six-figure salaries. Schools should be incredibly expensive for government and absolutely free of charge for its citizens, just like national defense. That is my position. I just haven't figured out how to do it yet. - Aaron Sorkin, The West Wing

The art of being wise is the art of knowing what to overlook. - William James, Principles of Psychology

Intelligence appears to be the thing that enables a man to get along without education. Education enables a man to get along without the use of his intelligence. - Albert Edward Wiggam

Every act of conscious learning requires the willingness to suffer an injury to one's self-esteem. That is why young children, before they are aware of their own self-importance, learn so easily. - Thomas Szasz

The illiterate of the 21st century will not be those who cannot read and write, but those who cannot learn, unlearn, and relearn. - Alvin Toffler

It is impossible for a man to learn what he thinks he already knows. - Epictetus

If a doctor, lawyer, or dentist had 40 people in his office at one time, all of whom had different needs, and some of whom didn't want to be there and were causing trouble, and the doctor, lawyer, or dentist, without assistance, had to treat them all with professional excellence for nine months, then he might have some conception of the classroom teacher's job. - Donald D. Quinn

If the Romans had been obliged to learn Latin, they would never have found time to conquer the world. - Heinrich Heine

The man who doesn't read good books has no advantage over the man who can't read them. - Mark Twain

Good teaching is one-fourth preparation and three-fourths pure theatre. – Gail Goodwin



I read Shakespeare and the Bible, and I can shoot dice. That's what I call a liberal education. - Tallulah Bankhead

America believes in education: the average professor earns more money in a year than a professional athlete earns in a whole week. - Evan Esar, American humorist, 1899-1995

No matter how long you teach a fool, he still knows everything. - Leonid S. Sukhorukov, All About Everything (2005)

In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards. - Mark Twain

Home computers are being called upon to perform many new functions, including the consumption of homework formerly eaten by the dog. - Doug Larson

You can get all A's and still flunk life. - Walker Percy

I think everyone should go to college and get a degree and then spend six months as a bartender and six months as a cabdriver. Then they would really be educated. - Al McGuire

The more that learn to read the less learn how to make a living. That's one thing about a little education. It spoils you for actual work. The more you know the more you think somebody owes you a living. - Will Rogers

Did you know America ranks the lowest in education but the highest in drug use? It's nice to be number one, but we can fix that. All we need to do is start the war on education. If it's anywhere near as successful as our war on drugs, in no time we'll all be hooked on phonics. - Leighann Lord

College is about three things: homework fun and sleep ... but you can only choose two. - Andy Stern


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Society and Culture, United States, Kids and Teens, Ralph Waldo Emerson, Oscar Wilde, Winston Churchill, George Bernard Shaw, Mark Twain, Education, Lily Tomlin