Cheeky Quote Day! 1 July 2009

Photo by I'm Fantastic @ flickr

From Denny: Summer heat has set in and July has arrived!

Thinking of the bizarre turn of events lately: Obama disinvited the Iranians from our Independence Day festivities on the Fourth. The Canadians followed suit. The Iranian regime has been exhibiting "bad form" lately with promoting a dictatorship, imprisoning and torturing their election protestors. Hmmm... I doubt they wanted to come anyway as they don't believe in independence, democracy or free speech. Guess we will have to catch them next year for the invite. Can the news get any stranger?

Well, while we agonize over the serious problems of the Iranian people we still need to laugh to keep our sanity and balance, so the Cheeky Quote Day goes on. These folks do have a way with words!

David Letterman

"USA Today has come out with a new survey: Apparently three out of four people make up 75 percent of the population."

Charlotte Whitton

"Whatever women do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult."

Groucho Marx

"Those are my principles. If you don't like them I have others."

Diana Jordan

"Men are simple things. They can survive a whole weekend with only three things: beer, boxer shorts and batteries for the remote control.”

Groucho Marx

"Women should be obscene and not heard."

Mark Twain

"What would men be without women? Scarce, sir, mighty scarce."

Peter O'Toole

"When did I realize I was God? Well, I was praying and I suddenly realized I was talking to myself.”

Matt Lauer (on NBC's Today Show)

"Researchers have discovered that chocolate produces some of the same reactions in the brain as marijuana. The researchers also discovered other similarities between the two but can't remember what they are."

Robert Benchley

It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up, because by that time I was too famous.

Jean Kerr

I'm tired of all this nonsense about beauty being only skin-deep. That's deep enough. What do you want - an adorable pancreas?

Steven Wright

If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?

Partick Moore

At my age I do what Mark Twain did. I get my daily paper, look at the obituaries page and if I'm not there I carry on as usual.

Ellen DeGeneres

You have to stay in shape. My grandmother, she started walking five miles a day when she was 60. She's 97 today and we don't know where the hell she is.

Elayne Boosler

I have six locks on my door all in a row. When I go out, I only lock every other one. I figure no matter how long somebody stands there picking the locks, they are always locking three.

Frank Zappa

"Most rock journalism is people who can't write - interviewing people who can't talk - for people who can't read."

Herb Caen

"Cockroaches and socialites are the only things that can stay up all night and eat anything."