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Showing posts with label top quotes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label top quotes. Show all posts

13 January 2010

Funny Quotes About Time - Cheeky Quote Day! 13 Jan 2010



Time? Where are you, you little rascal? I'll go shoot me some Time to keep!

From Denny: Humanity sure does have a wide ranging opinion about Time, most of it humorous! Some of these quotes are so cheeky they remind me of the old-fashioned school master practice of placing a child in the corner with a dunce's cap on because he or she did not do their homework or could not answer the question.

Of course, my Republican friends, with whom I often converse vociferously about politics - yet we still have a love-fest friendship (amazing, huh?!) - will love this little graphic of a donkey with a dunce's cap. I'm sure they will howl with laughter for days and dine on it with their friends for months. OK, guys, this is your one-time cheap shot at the Democrats! :)

One of the quotes dates back to an ancient Greek philosopher which goes to show just how long humanity has pondered the concept of Time! There are other "heavyweights" who weighed in on their opinions like Marilyn Monroe, Mike Tyson, George Carlin, Woody Allen, John Steinbeck, Robert Frost and the oft quoted, Albert Einstein. Come on; most of today's current culture figured that Albert Einstein actually invented Time, popping into our time line just long enough to explain the Universe. :) He does have that way about him of being timeless...

I sure had some fun with the photos. Check out the captions. Enjoy today's Mind Candy!

Quotes

* Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do. - Jean-Paul Sartre

* If you don't have time to do it right you must have time to do it over. - Anonymous

* Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils. - Hector Berlioz

* Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana. - Groucho Marx (OK, this one is a bit silly but hey! what is life if you don't enjoy an occasional Groucho Marx saying?)

* It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take Hofstadter's Law into account. - Hofstadter's Law

* A man with a watch knows what time it is. A man with two watches is never sure. - Segal's Law

* When I give a lecture, I accept that people look at their watches, but what I do not tolerate is when they look at it and raise it to their ear to find out if it stopped. - Marcel Achard

* A loafer always has the correct time. - Kin Hubbard (For second language folks: a "loafer" person is American slang/idiom for a lazy person. OK, explaining that one took all the humor out of it but at least if you hear the term again then that time it will be funny!)



This guy is so obsessive about Time he is polishing it! Now there is a novel approach to the age old dilemma of never having enough Time: groom it like a horse so it will stay in the barn.

* Time will explain it all. He is a talker, and needs no questioning before he speaks. - Euripides

* The time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time. - Bertrand Russell

* Time's fun when you're having flies. (Kermit the Frog) - Jim Henson

* The day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life. -- (Sometimes a Little Brain Damage Can Help, 1984) - George Carlin

* Time is the only critic without ambition. - John Steinbeck

* In reality, killing time is only the name for another of the multifarious ways by which Time kills us. - Osbert Sitwell

* I would I could stand on a busy corner, hat in hand, and beg people to throw me all their wasted hours. - Bernard Berenson

* You know, sometimes, when they say you are ahead of your time, it's just a polite way of saying you have a real bad sense of timing. – Gov. George McGovern

* I've been on a calendar, but never on time. - Marilyn Monroe

* Time and Tide wait for no man, but time always stands still for a woman of thirty. -Robert Frost



The usual response to time management gurus...

* Time is bunk. - Douglas Adams

* Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered? - Woody Allen

* Time is Nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once. - Woody Allen

* The days of the digital watch are numbered. - Tom Stoppard

* I don't mind going back to daylight saving time. With inflation, the hour will be the only thing I've saved all year. - Victor Borge

* Time stays long enough for anyone who will use it. - Leonardo Da Vinci

* Yesterday is a canceled check; tomorrow is a promissory note; today is the only cash you have - so spend it wisely. - Kay Lyons

* Time is our most valuable asset, yet we tend to waste it, kill it and spend it rather than invest it. – Jim Rohn



Here is what the time management gurus say happens when you are not watching your time management: it blows up on you! Yet Time marches on with you or without you...

* Time is the substance from which I am made. Time is a river which carries me along, but I am the river; it is a tiger that devours me, but I am the tiger; it is a fire that consumes me, but I am the fire. – Jorge Luis Borge

* Yes, time flies. And where did it leave you? Old too soon...smart too late. - Mike Tyson

* You know, sometimes, when they say you're ahead of your time, it's just a polite way of saying you have a real bad sense of timing. - George McGovern

* To think too long about doing a thing often becomes its undoing. – Eva Young



Ravens and crows are spiritually symbolic of opening up our awareness to spiritual Time. This guy is a bit cheeky as he tries to court the woman by showing her he can light her cigarette. Guess he will get back to his spiritual business later... I can only imagine what the Crow Convention will have to cackle about back at the home base address of Birds on a Wire!

* Time is an illusion, lunchtime doubly so. - Douglas Adams

* I gotta work out. I keep saying it all the time. I keep saying I gotta start working out. It's been about two months since I've worked out. And I just don't have the time. Which uh..is odd. Because I have the time to go out to dinner. And uh..and watch tv. And get a bone density test. And uh.. try to figure out what my phone number spells in words. - Ellen DeGeneres

* Clocks slay time... time is dead as long as it is being clicked off by little wheels; only when the clock stops does time come to life. – William Faulkner

* Time wastes our bodies and our wits, but we waste time, so we are quits. – Anonymous

* Why won't they let a year die without bringing in a new one on the instant, can't they use birth control on time? - John Dos Passos, 1917

* How long a minute is, depends on which side of the bathroom door you're on. - Zall's Second Law

* Time is the only thief we can't get justice against. - Astrid Alauda

* There are whole years for which I hope I'll never be cross-examined, for I could not give an alibi. - Mignon McLaughlin

* The clocks are all turned forward from Funny Time to Right Time. I always remember, "Spring back or Fall in." - Dave Beard



Kissing between the inner dimensions of Mars and Venus... :)

* Time is the longest distance between two places. – Tennessee Williams

* For centuries, man believed that the sun revolves around the earth. Centuries later, he still thinks that time moves clockwise. - Robert Brault

* The inertia hardest to overcome is that of perfectly good seconds. - Martin H. Fischer

* As if you could kill time without injuring eternity. - Henry David Thoreau, "Economy," Walden, 1854

* Time goes, you say? Ah no!
Alas, Time stays, we go.
- Henry Austin Dobson

* For disappearing acts, it's hard to beat what happens to the eight hours supposedly left after eight of sleep and eight of work. - Doug Larson

* You must have been warned against letting the golden hours slip by; but some of them are golden only because we let them slip by. - James Matthew Barrie

* A good holiday is one spent among people whose notions of time are vaguer than yours. -
John B. Priestly

* Old Time, in whose banks we deposit our notes
Is a miser who always wants guineas for groats;
He keeps all his customers still in arrears
By lending them minutes and charging them years.
- Oliver Wendell Holmes



Take Time for some fun - Einstein, one of the most brilliant minds, found Time and took it for a ride quite often! :)

* The only reason for time is so that everything doesn't happen at once. – Albert Einstein

* Let not the sands of time get in your lunch. - Tony Hendra

* The time you think you're missing, misses you too. - Ymber Delecto

* Time is a dressmaker specializing in alterations. - Faith Baldwin

: "Play it again, Sam!"

*** ALSO: Another great post - Wonderful Serious Quotes About Time

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10 January 2010

Wonderful Serious Quotes About Time



From Denny: New Year's revelry, sudden diets, New Year's resolutions and plenty of funny quotes about the New Year have all been enjoyed the past couple of weeks. Time to settle in and take a look at some mental soul food: intriguing observations and easy advice for living Life to the fullest!

Quotes

* Today is a smooth white seashell, hold it close and listen to the beauty of the hours. - Anonymous

* Waste no more time arguing what a good man should be, rather be one. - Marcus Aurelius

* Better late than never, but never late is better. - Anonymous

* This is no time for ease and comfort. It is the time to dare and endure. - Winston Churchill

* Time heals what reason cannot. - Seneca

* This time, like all times, is a very good one, if we but know what to do with it. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

* Time is but the stream I go a-fishing in. - Henry David Thoreau (American Essayist, Poet and Philosopher, 1817-1862)

* Time is at once the most valuable and the most perishable of all our possessions. - John Randolph

* Time is equal to life; therefore, waste your time and waste of your life, or master your time and master your life. - Alan Lakein

* Time is free, but it's priceless. You can't own it, but you can use it. You can't keep it, but you can send it. Once you've lost it, you can never get it back. - Harvey Mackay

* We say we waste time, but that is impossible. We waste ourselves. - Alice Bloch

* To achieve great things, two things are needed; a plan, and not quite enough time. - Leonard Bernstein



photo by padfootspatronus @ photobucket


* Time is the cruelest teacher; first she gives the test then teaches the lesson. – Anonymous

* Often times I have hated in self-defense; if I were stronger I would not have used such a weapon. - Kahlil Gibran (Lebanese born American philosophical Essayist, Novelist and Poet. 1883-1931)

* Time is like money, the less we have of it to spare the further we make it go. - Josh Billings

* The time is always right to do what is right. – Martin Luther King, Jr. (American Baptist Minister and Civil-Rights Leader. 1929-1968)

* There is only one you for all time. Fearlessly be yourself. - Anthony Rapp, actor

* In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit. - Albert Schweitzer (German medical Missionary, Theologian, Musician and Philosopher. 1952 Nobel Peace Prize, 1875-1965)

* Never let yesterday use up today. - Richard H. Nelson

* If you get up one more time than you fall you will make it through. - Chinese Proverbs



* Defer no time, delays have dangerous ends. - William Shakespeare

* Time is the justice that examines all offenders. - William Shakespeare

* Time is too slow for those who wait, too swift for those who fear, too long for those who grieve, too short for those who rejoice, but for those who love, time is eternity. - Henry Van Dyke (American short-story Writer, Poet and Essayist, 1852-1933)

* No army can withstand the strength of an idea whose time has come. - Victor Hugo

* Nobody sees a flower - really - it is so small it takes time - we haven't time - and to see takes time, like to have a friend takes time. - Georgia O'Keefe

* Nothing is a waste of time if you use the experience wisely. - Auguste Rodin

* Once you have mastered time, you will understand how true it is that most people overestimate what they can accomplish in a year - and underestimate what they can achieve in a decade! - Anthony Robbins

* One problem with gazing too frequently into the past is that we may turn around to find the future has run out on us. - Michael Cibenko

* One realizes the full importance of time only when there is little left of it. Every man's greatest capital asset is his unexpired years of productive life. - P. W. Litchfield

* Ordinary people think merely of spending time. Great people think of using it. - Anonymous

* Realize that now, in this moment of time, you are creating. You are creating your next moment. That is what's real. - Sara Paddison

* Remember, you can earn more money, but when time is spent is gone forever. - Zig Ziglar



* Time is our most valuable asset, yet we tend to waste it, kill it and spend it rather than invest it. - Jim Rohn

* Time is the most precious element of human existence. The successful person knows how to put energy into time and how to draw success from time. - Denis Waitley

* Time is the most valuable thing a man can spend. - Laertius Diogenes



Photo by muha... @ flickr

* Time is the substance from which I am made. Time is a river which carries me along, but I am the river; it is a tiger that devours me, but I am the tiger; it is a fire that consumes me, but I am the fire. - Jorge Luis Borges

* Time is the wisest counselor. - Pericles

* Time ripens all things, no man is born wise. - Miguel de Cervantes

* Those who make the worse use of their time are the first to complain of its shortness. - Jean De La Bruyere

* Time and health are two precious assets that we don't recognize and appreciate until they have been depleted. - Denis Waitley

* Time and memory are true artists; they remold reality nearer to the heart's desire. - John Dewey

* Time and money spent in helping men to do more for themselves is far better than mere giving. - Henry Ford

* Time flies. It's up to you to be the navigator. - Robert Orben

* Time heals what reason cannot. - Seneca

* Time is a circus, always packing up and moving away. - Ben Hecht

* Marcus Aurelius Antoninus: Time Quotations
Time is a sort of river of passing events, and strong as its current; no sooner is a thing brought to sight than it is swept by and another takes its place, and this too will be swept away.



Photo by Igor Zenin

* We always have time enough if we will but use it aright. - Goethe

* We are too busy mopping the floor to turn off the faucet. - Anonymous

* We have only this moment, sparkling like a star in our hand - and melting like a snowflake. - Marie B. Ray

* We must use time as a tool, not as a couch. - John F. Kennedy

* Yesterday is a canceled check; tomorrow is a promissory note; today is the only cash you have - so spend it wisely. - Kay Lyons

* What would be the use of immortality to a person who cannot use well a half an hour. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

* When the time is right, you just got to do it. - Jack Simplot

* Today, be aware of how you are spending your 1,440 beautiful moments, and spend them wisely. - Anonymous

* Until you value yourself, you will not value your time. Until you value your time, you will not do anything with it. - M. Scott Peck

* You can't change the past, but you can ruin the present by worrying about the future. - Anonymous

* Life is all about timing... the unreachable becomes reachable, the unavailable become available, the unattainable... attainable. Have the patience, wait it out. It's all about timing. - Stacey Charter



Photo by jillallyn @ flickr

* We all have our time machines. Some take us back, they're called memories. Some take us forward, they're called dreams. - Jeremy Irons




*** Check out more fun New Years posts:

Funny New Years Animations and Clip Art

New Years Reflection: Wine Glass Abyss, Libations Friday! 1 Jan 2010

8 Easy Yummy New Years Recipes to Warm Your Guests

Fun Kid Recipes, Activities Keep Them Busy For Holidays




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