Dishing out spicy liberal social commentary and critical thinking news analysis on America, world politics, the news, fun political humor, cartoons - and a little poetry by Independent journalist blogger Denny Lyon.
Students did not expect to learn spiritual principles in a few months of study. Students did not expect to interact with spiritual energy on the highest levels within a few years. Students did not expect to wield spiritual power until their egos were well disciplined, honed into perfect obedience to Spirit.
A true student of the spiritual path accepts early on that Life is truly a journey. This journey involves the unexpected and the unplanned. Life is not always as orderly as our emotions and left brain sense of the world would prefer. :)
In order to maintain our balance - or regain it quickly - it's important to root ourselves in the present - the Now - and not focus upon even what happened a few moments ago or what might happen in our future...
2-sided design: Just LOVE is the shortest best message! More products like mugs, more t-shirts, pillows, stuffed animals, jewelry, keepsake boxes and blankets available in this design.
Dennys World of Quotes: Funny Quotes About Government: From Denny: First God gave humanity Free Will. Then God gave humanity the right for self-government. Then the entertainment began! God also created comedians to exercise their creative free will to criticize inept government. God saw that Life was good so God sat back, relaxed and watched the show.
Now that I'm finished pontificating I thought you might enjoy some insightful quotes from deep thinkers throughout history, demonstrating their visions and opinions, chuckling about humanity's efforts toward creating government.
* * * Support Warriors Pearl Foundation - contributing to fund efforts to help homeless female military veterans come home. Visit Denny Lyon Gifts @ CafePress.com - see what's new!
First Annual International Awards Dinner of the Joseph P. Kennedy Jr. Foundation. President Kennedy, Mrs. Rose Kennedy. Washington, D. C., Statler Hilton Hotel (Photo credit: Wikipedia)
They may be our biological or adoptive mothers, grandmothers, aunts, older friends who mentored us, fabulous school teachers. Whoever the best women are in your lives, take a moment today and this week to enjoy the best of what they gave to you.
As I've blogged over the past few years, there are now a happy pile of women inspired posts and some very funny Mother's Day quotes to enjoy:
He didn't tell me how to live; he lived, and let me watch him do it. - Clarence Budington Kelland, U.S. Writer
A good father is one of the most unsung, unpraised, unnoticed, and yet one of the most valuable assets in our society. - Billy Graham, Christian Evangelist
The most important thing a father can do for his children is to love their mother.
- Theodore Hesburgh, Catholic Priest and President Emeritus of the University of Notre Dame
How true Daddy's words were when he said: 'All children must look after their own upbringing.' Parents can only give good advice or put them on the right paths, but the final forming of a person's character lies in their own hands. - Anne Frank, German Jew and Holocaust Victim
It is much easier to become a father than to be one. - Kent Nerburn, U.S. Author and Educator
We are given children to test us and make us more spiritual. - George Will, U.S. Journalist"
Each man is a hero and an oracle to somebody. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
Courage is contagious. When a brave man takes a stand, the spines of others are often stiffened. - Billy Graham
The bravest are surely those who have the clearest vision of what is before them, glory and danger alike, and yet notwithstanding, go out to meet it. - Thucydides
Self-trust is the essence of heroism. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
A hero is one who knows how to hang on one minute longer. - Novalis"
We believe that if men have the talent to invent new machines that put men out of work, they have the talent to put those men back to work. - President John F. Kennedy
Beautiful Illustrated Quotations: Mothers Day Quotes: Rose Kennedy: "From Denny: When you are looking for inspiration in tough times and wondering how to get through the trials of being a mother, look no further than to Rose Fitzgerald Kennedy. Her life often played out like an intense soap opera. She experienced the deaths of several of her children before their time, of which two were political assassinations. She lost her first son to war. Her husband cheated on her and yet she remained committed to the marriage.
Rose Kennedy was one tough lady you could not help but admire. She looked at her children as powerhouses that would influence others and change the world. And change the world they did. One even became president: John F. Kennedy.
No matter how dark times looked she looked up to God and kept her faith. She also kept her great sense of humor for she was a very intelligent woman greatly interested in social issues. She believed in a life of public service and remained steadfast in her beliefs and her commitments to others until the day she left this earth."
*** From Denny: Laugh at funny tax quotes and tax cartoons, find out about the Fair Tax idea versus how we collect our taxes now and look at a news clip that breaks down how our tax dollars are used by the federal government.
* Rich bachelors should be heavily taxed. It is not fair that some men should be happier than others. - Oscar Wilde
From Denny: Awww, come on, we all have to pay some taxes in order to have all the goodies that come from how useful government can be upon occasion: like highways to move your products to market, tasty produce trucked in from other parts of the world to your grocery store, cheap clothing made outside America because we can't afford to pay our own people a living wage, freedom of movement like flying on our airlines where they are nickel and dime-ing their customers to death, even charging to use the toilets en route.
* Taxes, after all, are dues that we pay for the privileges of membership in an organized society. - Franklin D. Roosevelt
The good stuff that works for us from when government is run by people of good conscious are things like police protection, fire departments, hospitals, funding of public schools and colleges, college loans at decent interest rates, building and maintenance of highways and bridges, energy and water plants, keeping safe our food supply and checking up on the drug industry and regulating all kinds of industries.
What we don't want is our government to get too good at being useful: like during the Republican infamous Bush and Cheney years when they bribed that fast talking snake charmer Iraqi Chalabi $33 million a month for useless intelligence and ineffective diplomacy in the Iraq War. Then they paid out billions to government contracts to Halliburton who refused to be taxed so moved their headquarters out of America to Saudi Arabia to avoid being prosecuted for wrong-doing like war profiteering. Then there was the building up of a large secret off-the-books - and away from Congressional oversight - the mercenary army like Blackwater. They were as large as 100,000 soldiers for hire and funded by the federal government in addition to our military - but not subject to the same rules and law as the military - which meant they were not accountable for literally any wrong-doing or murders.
One thing is for sure, people have a love-hate relationship with the idea of government and the people who run it. The wealthy are usually a stingy group who resent getting taxed, yet enjoy the benefits from the government that helped to make them rich.
People are taxed, rate hiked, assessed unexpected charges from every angle: federal, state, county, city, grocery, auto, insurance and home ownership. Banks and credit cards invent new fees to charge and change the agreement you originally signed up for on the card. Taxes, fees, rate hikes just keep on coming. Sooner or later the majority will no longer be able to continue to absorb those increases.
Before you know the average taxpayer is barely left with enough money to buy groceries and gas to go to work. That would explain why there is an alarming number of middle class people going to food banks every week to feed their families. They used to be the donors to those food banks; now they need the help.
Taxes are a sore subject with the American people, especially since our American Revolution over King George's taxes - another King George, not Bush but the English king. :) This is how most people feel and it's how they vote. Most people vote their wallets - or what's left of it.
* I like to pay taxes. It is purchasing civilization. - Oliver Wendell Holmes
With that sentiment come the annual conversations about how to improve the taxation and take less. For years people have thrown out ideas into the public air as better, less expensive and less confusing, ways to collect taxes. Some suggest a flat rate tax of say 10% of your income. Of course, by the time you get through with your state and local taxes and church tithing, if you do so, you could end up paying out half of your income. No one can live on that and put anything into their savings accounts for retirement or college funds for the kids.
The Fair Tax Proposal explained on About.com. The Fair Tax idea is replacing income taxes with a national sales tax.
The only person in America against Fair Tax replacing our current way of collecting taxes sent an email to the writer in the above link. Here's an excerpt of their response as why the Fair Tax is a bad idea:
"Those, who promote this scheme are either rich or incorrigibly gullible.
The FairTax is only fair to the Rich. It's a Pyramid Scheme. Never trust the Rich to protect your interests. Remember, "If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is"!
Read their entire argument and comments which is fun reading, go here.
Did you know that of each dollar spent by our federal government for this year, only 61 cents is funded by federal taxes? We borrow the rest. Take a look at this report:
* It is a good thing that we do not get as much government as we pay for. ~ Will Rogers
* If you make any money, the government shoves you in the creek once a year with it in your pockets, and all that don't get wet you can keep. - Will Rogers
* When there's a single thief, it's robbery. When there are a thousand thieves, it's taxation. - Vanya Cohen
* The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin. - Mark Twain
* Alexander Hamilton started the U.S. Treasury with nothing and that was the closest our country has ever been to being even. - Will Rogers
* On filing for tax returns: This is too difficult for a mathematician. It takes a philosopher. - Albert Einstein, math genius
* Income tax returns are the most imaginative fiction being written today. - Herman Wouk
* The way taxes are, you might as well marry for love. - Joe E. Lewis
* Congress can raise taxes because it can persuade a sizable fraction of the populace that somebody else will pay. - Milton Friedman, economist
* The avoidance of taxes is the only intellectual pursuit that carries any reward. - John Maynard Keynes
* There is no such thing as a good tax. - Winston Churchill, former British Prime Minister
* When there is an income tax, the just man will pay more and the unjust less on the same amount of income. - Plato, Greek philosopher
* Isn't it appropriate that the month of the tax begins with April Fool's Day and ends with cries of 'May Day!'? - Rob Knauerhase
* I guess I think of lotteries as a tax on the mathematically challenged. - Roger Jones
* I cannot undertake to lay my finger on that article of the Constitution which granted a right to Congress of expending, on objects of benevolence, the money of their constituents... - James Madison
* Taxation with representation ain't so hot either. - Gerald Barzan
* The taxpayer - that's someone who works for the federal government but doesn't have to take the civil service examination. - Ronald Reagan
* America is a land of taxation that was founded to avoid taxation. - Laurence J. Peter
* I'm proud to pay taxes in the United States; the only thing is, I could be just as proud for half the money. - Arthur Godfrey
* The United States has a system of taxation by confession. - Hugo Black
* Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred dollars and a substantial tax cut save you thirty cents? - Peg Bracken
* The income tax has made more liars out of the American people than playing a round of golf. Even when you make a tax form out on the level, you don't know when your are finished with it if you are a crook - or a martyr. - Will Rogers
* Unquestionably, there is progress. The average American now pays out twice as much in taxes as he formerly got in wages. - H.L. Mencken
* The nation should have a tax system that looks like someone designed it on purpose. - William Simon
* We must care for each other more, and tax each other less. - Bill Archer
* The expenses of government, having for their object the interest of all, should be borne by everyone, and the more a man enjoys the advantages of society, the more he ought to hold himself honored in contributing to those expenses. - Anne Robert, Jacques Turgot
* Be wary of strong drink. It can make you shoot at tax collectors... and miss. - Robert Heinlein
* The art of taxation consists in so plucking the goose as to get the most feathers with the least hissing. - Jean Baptist Colbert
* What at first was plunder assumed the softer name of revenue. - Thomas Paine
* Did you ever notice that when you put the words "The" and "IRS" together, it spells "THEIRS?" - Anonymous
* We have long had death and taxes as the two standards of inevitability. But there are those who believe that death is the preferable of the two. "At least," as one man said, "there's one advantage about death; it doesn't get worse every time Congress meets." - Erwin N. Griswold
* Income tax returns are the most imaginative fiction being written today. - Herman Wouk
* Capitol punishment: The income tax. - Jeff Hayes
* If the Lord loveth a cheerful giver, how he must hate the taxpayer! - John Andrew Holmes
* Of course the truth is that the congresspersons are too busy raising campaign money to read the laws they pass. The laws are written by staff tax nerds who can put pretty much put any wording they want in there. I bet that if you actually read the entire vastness of the U.S. Tax Code, you'd find at least one sex scene ("'Yes, yes, YES!' moaned Vanessa as Lance, his taut body moist with moisture, again and again depreciated her adjusted gross rate of annualized fiscal debenture"). - Dave Barry
* People who complain about taxes can be divided into two classes: men and women. - Anonymous
* Taxes: Of life's two certainties (other than death), the only one for which you can get an automatic extension. - Anonymous
* Indoors or out, no one relaxes in March, that month of wind and taxes, the wind will presently disappear, the taxes last us all the year. - Ogden Nash
* It's income tax time again, Americans: time to gather up those receipts, get out those tax forms, sharpen up that pencil, and stab yourself in the aorta. - Dave Barry
* Man is not like other animals in the ways that are really significant: animals have instincts, we have taxes. - Erving Goffman
* The purse of the people is the real seat of sensibility. Let it be drawn upon largely, and they will then listen to truths which could not excite them through any other organ. - Thomas Jefferson
* To force a man to pay for the violation of his own liberty is indeed an addition of insult to injury. - Benjamin Tucker, Instead of a Book
* Today, it takes more brains and effort to make out the income-tax form than it does to make the income. - Alfred E. Neuman
* A person doesn't know how much he has to be thankful for until he has to pay taxes on it. - Anonymous
* Taxes are paid in the sweat of every man who labors. - Franklin D. Roosevelt
* I am thankful for the taxes I pay because it means that I'm employed. - Nancie J. Carmody
* The point to remember is that what the government gives it must first take away. - John S. Coleman, address, Detroit Chamber of Commerce, 1956
* Philosophy teaches a man that he can't take it with him; taxes teach him he can't leave it behind either. - Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966
* It was as true... as taxes is. And nothing's truer than them. - Charles Dickens
* Death and taxes may be inevitable, but they shouldn't be related. - J.C. Watts, Jr.
* The best things in life are free, but sooner or later the government will find a way to tax them. - Anonymous
* The government’s view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it. - Ronald Reagan
* I like to pay taxes. With them I buy civilization. - Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
* I shall never use profanity except in discussing house rent and taxes. - Mark Twain
* Our tax code is so long it makes War and Peace seem breezy. - Steven LaTourette
* The wages of sin are death, but after they take the taxes out, it's more like a tired feeling, really. - Paula Poundstone
* We are told that this is an odious and unpopular tax. I never knew a tax that was not odious and unpopular with the people who paid it. - John Sherman
* You must pay taxes. But there's no law that says you gotta leave a tip. - Morgan Stanley advertisement
* (Definition of the) U.S. Internal Revenue Service: an agency modeled after the revenue raising concepts of the 19th century economist, Jesse James. - Robert Brault
* If, from the more wretched parts of the old world, we look at those which are in an advanced stage of improvement, we still find the greedy hand of government thrusting itself into every corner and crevice of industry, and grasping the spoil of the multitude. Invention is continually exercised, to furnish new pretenses for revenues and taxation. It watches prosperity as its prey and permits none to escape without tribute. - Thomas Paine
* Next to being shot at and missed, nothing is really quite as satisfying as an income tax refund. - F.J. Raymond (Hmmm... especially when it was your own money in the first place AND returned WITHOUT interest which means the government had FREE use of our money for the past year.)
* There's nothing wrong with the younger generation that becoming taxpayers won't cure. - Dan Bennett
* Pothinus: "Is it possible that Caesar, the conqueror of the world, has time to occupy himself with such a trifle as our taxes?"
Caesar: "My friend, taxes are the chief business of a conqueror of the world." - George Bernard Shaw, "Caesar and Cleopatra"
* There may be liberty and justice for all, but there are tax breaks only for some. - Martin A. Sullivan
* The income tax created more criminals than any other single act of government. - Barry Goldwater, Republican Senator
* Taxes grow without rain. - Jewish Proverb
* I don't know if I can live on my income or not - the government won't let me try it. - Bob Thaves, "Frank & Ernest"
* Of all debts, men are least willing to pay their taxes; what a satire this is on government. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
* Friends and neighbors complain that taxes are indeed very heavy, and if those laid on by the government were the only ones we had to pay, we might the more easily discharge them; but we have many others, and much more grievous to some of us. We are taxed twice as much by our idleness, three times as much by our pride, and four times as much by our folly. - Benjamin Franklin
* Any tax is a discouragement and therefore a regulation so far as it goes. - Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr.
* Question: "I understand that Congress is considering a so-called 'flat' tax system. How would this work?"
Answer: "If Congress were to pass a 'flat' tax, you'd simply pay a fixed percentage of your income, and you wouldn't have to fill out any complicated forms, and there would be no loopholes for politically connected groups, and normal people would actually understand the tax laws, and giant talking broccoli stalks would come around and mow your lawn for free, because Congress is NOT going to pass a flat tax, you pathetic fool." - comic Dave Barry
* The flat tax would be so simple, you could fill it out on a post card. A post card that would say, in effect, having a wonderful time; glad most of my money is here. - Steve Forbes
* A fine is a tax for doing something wrong. A tax is a fine for doing something right. - Anonymous
* Count the day won when, turning on its axis,
This earth imposes no additional taxes.
- Franklin P. Adams
* Taxation, for example, is eternally lively; it concerns nine-tenths of us more directly than either smallpox or golf, and has just as much drama in it; moreover, it has been mellowed and made gay by as many gaudy, preposterous theories. - H.L. Mencken
* Collecting more taxes than is absolutely necessary is legalized robbery. - Calvin Coolidge
* It's about ten times the size of the Bible - and unlike the Bible, contains no good news. - Don Nickles, about the Internal Revenue Code
* The payment of taxes gives a right to protection. - James M. Wayne
* If we don't do something to simplify the tax system, we're going to end up with a national police force of internal revenue agents. - Leon Panetta, former California Congressman, former Chief of Staff for President Clinton, now CIA Director for President Obama (2010)
* What is the difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector? The taxidermist takes only your skin. - Mark Twain, Notebook, 1902
* The sales tax seems to be more politically acceptable than the income tax. - Raymond C. Scheppach
* There is an ancient belief that the gods love the obscure and hate the obvious. Without benefit of divinity, modern men of similar persuasion draft provisions of the Internal Revenue Code. Section 341 is their triumph. - Martin D. Ginsburg
* All the Congress, all the accountants and tax lawyers, all the judges, and a convention of wizards all cannot tell for sure what the income tax law says. - Walter B. Wriston
* The politicians say "we" can't afford a tax cut. Maybe "we" can't afford the politicians. - Steve Forbes
The more you earn, the less you keep,
And now I lay me down to sleep.
I pray the Lord my soul to take,
If the tax-collector hasn't got it before I wake.
- Ogden Nash (a writer and poet with a great sense of humor!)
* Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a refund from the IRS, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with. - Anonymous, from a Washington Post word contest
* You don't pay taxes; they take taxes. - Chris Rock, Bigger and Blacker
* People try to live within their income so they can afford to pay taxes to a government that can't live within its income. - Robert Half
* Tax complexity itself is a kind of tax. - Max Baucus (it is definitely taxing on the emotions as you run through the labyrinth of ifs, ands and whats to figure out what you owe or can get refunded on that year)
* He has combined with others to subject us to a jurisdiction foreign to our constitution and unacknowledged by our laws; giving his Assent to their Acts of pretended Legislation... For imposing Taxes on us without our Consent.... We, therefore... solemnly publish and declare, That these United Colonies are, and of Right ought to be Free and Independent States. - The Declaration of Independence of the Thirteen Colonies, 1776
* I can give you 1040 good reasons why I hate the government. - The Quote Garden (a cheeky quote site!)
And the hardest truth of all in these economic times...
* I am thankful for the taxes I pay because it means that I'm employed. - Nancie J. Carmody
*** THANKS for visiting, feel welcome to drop a comment or opinion, enjoy bookmarking this post on your favorite social site, a big shout out to awesome current subscribers – and if you are new to this blog, please subscribe in a reader or by email updates!
Time? Where are you, you little rascal? I'll go shoot me some Time to keep!
From Denny: Humanity sure does have a wide ranging opinion about Time, most of it humorous! Some of these quotes are so cheeky they remind me of the old-fashioned school master practice of placing a child in the corner with a dunce's cap on because he or she did not do their homework or could not answer the question.
Of course, my Republican friends, with whom I often converse vociferously about politics - yet we still have a love-fest friendship (amazing, huh?!) - will love this little graphic of a donkey with a dunce's cap. I'm sure they will howl with laughter for days and dine on it with their friends for months. OK, guys, this is your one-time cheap shot at the Democrats! :)
One of the quotes dates back to an ancient Greek philosopher which goes to show just how long humanity has pondered the concept of Time! There are other "heavyweights" who weighed in on their opinions like Marilyn Monroe, Mike Tyson, George Carlin, Woody Allen, John Steinbeck, Robert Frost and the oft quoted, Albert Einstein. Come on; most of today's current culture figured that Albert Einstein actually invented Time, popping into our time line just long enough to explain the Universe. :) He does have that way about him of being timeless...
I sure had some fun with the photos. Check out the captions. Enjoy today's Mind Candy!
Quotes
* Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do. - Jean-Paul Sartre
* If you don't have time to do it right you must have time to do it over. - Anonymous
* Time is a great teacher, but unfortunately it kills all its pupils. - Hector Berlioz
* Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana. - Groucho Marx (OK, this one is a bit silly but hey! what is life if you don't enjoy an occasional Groucho Marx saying?)
* It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take Hofstadter's Law into account. - Hofstadter's Law
* A man with a watch knows what time it is. A man with two watches is never sure. - Segal's Law
* When I give a lecture, I accept that people look at their watches, but what I do not tolerate is when they look at it and raise it to their ear to find out if it stopped. - Marcel Achard
* A loafer always has the correct time. - Kin Hubbard (For second language folks: a "loafer" person is American slang/idiom for a lazy person. OK, explaining that one took all the humor out of it but at least if you hear the term again then that time it will be funny!)
This guy is so obsessive about Time he is polishing it! Now there is a novel approach to the age old dilemma of never having enough Time: groom it like a horse so it will stay in the barn.
* Time will explain it all. He is a talker, and needs no questioning before he speaks. - Euripides
* The time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time. - Bertrand Russell
* Time's fun when you're having flies. (Kermit the Frog) - Jim Henson
* The day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life. -- (Sometimes a Little Brain Damage Can Help, 1984) - George Carlin
* Time is the only critic without ambition. - John Steinbeck
* In reality, killing time is only the name for another of the multifarious ways by which Time kills us. - Osbert Sitwell
* I would I could stand on a busy corner, hat in hand, and beg people to throw me all their wasted hours. - Bernard Berenson
* You know, sometimes, when they say you are ahead of your time, it's just a polite way of saying you have a real bad sense of timing. – Gov. George McGovern
* I've been on a calendar, but never on time. - Marilyn Monroe
* Time and Tide wait for no man, but time always stands still for a woman of thirty. -Robert Frost
The usual response to time management gurus...
* Time is bunk. - Douglas Adams
* Why are our days numbered and not, say, lettered? - Woody Allen
* Time is Nature's way of keeping everything from happening at once. - Woody Allen
* The days of the digital watch are numbered. - Tom Stoppard
* I don't mind going back to daylight saving time. With inflation, the hour will be the only thing I've saved all year. - Victor Borge
* Time stays long enough for anyone who will use it. - Leonardo Da Vinci
* Yesterday is a canceled check; tomorrow is a promissory note; today is the only cash you have - so spend it wisely. - Kay Lyons
* Time is our most valuable asset, yet we tend to waste it, kill it and spend it rather than invest it. – Jim Rohn
Here is what the time management gurus say happens when you are not watching your time management: it blows up on you! Yet Time marches on with you or without you...
* Time is the substance from which I am made. Time is a river which carries me along, but I am the river; it is a tiger that devours me, but I am the tiger; it is a fire that consumes me, but I am the fire. – Jorge Luis Borge
* Yes, time flies. And where did it leave you? Old too soon...smart too late. - Mike Tyson
* You know, sometimes, when they say you're ahead of your time, it's just a polite way of saying you have a real bad sense of timing. - George McGovern
* To think too long about doing a thing often becomes its undoing. – Eva Young
Ravens and crows are spiritually symbolic of opening up our awareness to spiritual Time. This guy is a bit cheeky as he tries to court the woman by showing her he can light her cigarette. Guess he will get back to his spiritual business later... I can only imagine what the Crow Convention will have to cackle about back at the home base address of Birds on a Wire!
* Time is an illusion, lunchtime doubly so. - Douglas Adams
* I gotta work out. I keep saying it all the time. I keep saying I gotta start working out. It's been about two months since I've worked out. And I just don't have the time. Which uh..is odd. Because I have the time to go out to dinner. And uh..and watch tv. And get a bone density test. And uh.. try to figure out what my phone number spells in words. - Ellen DeGeneres
* Clocks slay time... time is dead as long as it is being clicked off by little wheels; only when the clock stops does time come to life. – William Faulkner
* Time wastes our bodies and our wits, but we waste time, so we are quits. – Anonymous
* Why won't they let a year die without bringing in a new one on the instant, can't they use birth control on time? - John Dos Passos, 1917
* How long a minute is, depends on which side of the bathroom door you're on. - Zall's Second Law
* Time is the only thief we can't get justice against. - Astrid Alauda
* There are whole years for which I hope I'll never be cross-examined, for I could not give an alibi. - Mignon McLaughlin
* The clocks are all turned forward from Funny Time to Right Time. I always remember, "Spring back or Fall in." - Dave Beard
Kissing between the inner dimensions of Mars and Venus... :)
* Time is the longest distance between two places. – Tennessee Williams
* For centuries, man believed that the sun revolves around the earth. Centuries later, he still thinks that time moves clockwise. - Robert Brault
* The inertia hardest to overcome is that of perfectly good seconds. - Martin H. Fischer
* As if you could kill time without injuring eternity. - Henry David Thoreau, "Economy," Walden, 1854
* Time goes, you say? Ah no! Alas, Time stays, we go. - Henry Austin Dobson
* For disappearing acts, it's hard to beat what happens to the eight hours supposedly left after eight of sleep and eight of work. - Doug Larson
* You must have been warned against letting the golden hours slip by; but some of them are golden only because we let them slip by. - James Matthew Barrie
* A good holiday is one spent among people whose notions of time are vaguer than yours. - John B. Priestly
* Old Time, in whose banks we deposit our notes Is a miser who always wants guineas for groats; He keeps all his customers still in arrears By lending them minutes and charging them years. - Oliver Wendell Holmes
Take Time for some fun - Einstein, one of the most brilliant minds, found Time and took it for a ride quite often! :)
* The only reason for time is so that everything doesn't happen at once. – Albert Einstein
* Let not the sands of time get in your lunch. - Tony Hendra
* The time you think you're missing, misses you too. - Ymber Delecto
* Time is a dressmaker specializing in alterations. - Faith Baldwin
From Denny: New Year's revelry, sudden diets, New Year's resolutions and plenty of funny quotes about the New Year have all been enjoyed the past couple of weeks. Time to settle in and take a look at some mental soul food: intriguing observations and easy advice for living Life to the fullest!
Quotes
* Today is a smooth white seashell, hold it close and listen to the beauty of the hours. - Anonymous
* Waste no more time arguing what a good man should be, rather be one. - Marcus Aurelius
* Better late than never, but never late is better. - Anonymous
* This is no time for ease and comfort. It is the time to dare and endure. - Winston Churchill
* Time heals what reason cannot. - Seneca
* This time, like all times, is a very good one, if we but know what to do with it. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
* Time is but the stream I go a-fishing in. - Henry David Thoreau (American Essayist, Poet and Philosopher, 1817-1862)
* Time is at once the most valuable and the most perishable of all our possessions. - John Randolph
* Time is equal to life; therefore, waste your time and waste of your life, or master your time and master your life. - Alan Lakein
* Time is free, but it's priceless. You can't own it, but you can use it. You can't keep it, but you can send it. Once you've lost it, you can never get it back. - Harvey Mackay
* We say we waste time, but that is impossible. We waste ourselves. - Alice Bloch
* To achieve great things, two things are needed; a plan, and not quite enough time. - Leonard Bernstein
* Time is the cruelest teacher; first she gives the test then teaches the lesson. – Anonymous
* Often times I have hated in self-defense; if I were stronger I would not have used such a weapon. - Kahlil Gibran (Lebanese born American philosophical Essayist, Novelist and Poet. 1883-1931)
* Time is like money, the less we have of it to spare the further we make it go. - Josh Billings
* The time is always right to do what is right. – Martin Luther King, Jr. (American Baptist Minister and Civil-Rights Leader. 1929-1968)
* There is only one you for all time. Fearlessly be yourself. - Anthony Rapp, actor
* In everyone's life, at some time, our inner fire goes out. It is then burst into flame by an encounter with another human being. We should all be thankful for those people who rekindle the inner spirit. - Albert Schweitzer (German medical Missionary, Theologian, Musician and Philosopher. 1952 Nobel Peace Prize, 1875-1965)
* Never let yesterday use up today. - Richard H. Nelson
* If you get up one more time than you fall you will make it through. - Chinese Proverbs
* Defer no time, delays have dangerous ends. - William Shakespeare
* Time is the justice that examines all offenders. - William Shakespeare
* Time is too slow for those who wait, too swift for those who fear, too long for those who grieve, too short for those who rejoice, but for those who love, time is eternity. - Henry Van Dyke (American short-story Writer, Poet and Essayist, 1852-1933)
* No army can withstand the strength of an idea whose time has come. - Victor Hugo
* Nobody sees a flower - really - it is so small it takes time - we haven't time - and to see takes time, like to have a friend takes time. - Georgia O'Keefe
* Nothing is a waste of time if you use the experience wisely. - Auguste Rodin
* Once you have mastered time, you will understand how true it is that most people overestimate what they can accomplish in a year - and underestimate what they can achieve in a decade! - Anthony Robbins
* One problem with gazing too frequently into the past is that we may turn around to find the future has run out on us. - Michael Cibenko
* One realizes the full importance of time only when there is little left of it. Every man's greatest capital asset is his unexpired years of productive life. - P. W. Litchfield
* Ordinary people think merely of spending time. Great people think of using it. - Anonymous
* Realize that now, in this moment of time, you are creating. You are creating your next moment. That is what's real. - Sara Paddison
* Remember, you can earn more money, but when time is spent is gone forever. - Zig Ziglar
* Time is our most valuable asset, yet we tend to waste it, kill it and spend it rather than invest it. - Jim Rohn
* Time is the most precious element of human existence. The successful person knows how to put energy into time and how to draw success from time. - Denis Waitley
* Time is the most valuable thing a man can spend. - Laertius Diogenes
Photo by muha... @ flickr
* Time is the substance from which I am made. Time is a river which carries me along, but I am the river; it is a tiger that devours me, but I am the tiger; it is a fire that consumes me, but I am the fire. - Jorge Luis Borges
* Time is the wisest counselor. - Pericles
* Time ripens all things, no man is born wise. - Miguel de Cervantes
* Those who make the worse use of their time are the first to complain of its shortness. - Jean De La Bruyere
* Time and health are two precious assets that we don't recognize and appreciate until they have been depleted. - Denis Waitley
* Time and memory are true artists; they remold reality nearer to the heart's desire. - John Dewey
* Time and money spent in helping men to do more for themselves is far better than mere giving. - Henry Ford
* Time flies. It's up to you to be the navigator. - Robert Orben
* Time heals what reason cannot. - Seneca
* Time is a circus, always packing up and moving away. - Ben Hecht
* Marcus Aurelius Antoninus: Time Quotations
Time is a sort of river of passing events, and strong as its current; no sooner is a thing brought to sight than it is swept by and another takes its place, and this too will be swept away.
Photo by Igor Zenin
* We always have time enough if we will but use it aright. - Goethe
* We are too busy mopping the floor to turn off the faucet. - Anonymous
* We have only this moment, sparkling like a star in our hand - and melting like a snowflake. - Marie B. Ray
* We must use time as a tool, not as a couch. - John F. Kennedy
* Yesterday is a canceled check; tomorrow is a promissory note; today is the only cash you have - so spend it wisely. - Kay Lyons
* What would be the use of immortality to a person who cannot use well a half an hour. - Ralph Waldo Emerson
* When the time is right, you just got to do it. - Jack Simplot
* Today, be aware of how you are spending your 1,440 beautiful moments, and spend them wisely. - Anonymous
* Until you value yourself, you will not value your time. Until you value your time, you will not do anything with it. - M. Scott Peck
* You can't change the past, but you can ruin the present by worrying about the future. - Anonymous
* Life is all about timing... the unreachable becomes reachable, the unavailable become available, the unattainable... attainable. Have the patience, wait it out. It's all about timing. - Stacey Charter
Photo by jillallyn @ flickr
* We all have our time machines. Some take us back, they're called memories. Some take us forward, they're called dreams. - Jeremy Irons
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From Denny: Sometimes, writing poetry feels like running full speed down the rabbit hole. It might account for why so many poets tend toward the morose: Whiners' Poetry. While I was researching funny quotes for this Cheeky Quote Day I was surprised at how few poets have much of a sense of humor. Can I tell you I did a lot of editing? Notably, some of my favorite poets like Robert Frost, Walt Whitman, Oscar Wilde and Carl Sandburg were brimming over with sarcastic funny one-liners.
It's OK to whine every now and then - but we writers need to keep in mind the well-being of the reader. Drowning in sadness rarely is a help to others. Defensive poets counter with they are only writing for themselves. Fine, then don't publish it; keep it to yourself. "Verses which do not teach men new and moving truths do not deserve to be read." - Voltaire. (A high standard but certainly worthy of a challenge to the writer; it only makes you a better writer.) When you write to publish, you establish a connection with your readers and owe them a valuable read. That is what builds community, you and the reader together.
There is this perception today that to write good poetry it has to be sad and mournful or ridiculously silly like for a children's rhyme. The best poets throughout history often struck a chord in the middle ground for the exploration of serious social issues and the human condition.
Serious subjects can reflect the sad, the intellectually indignant or the morally obscene perspective. It's also important to offer more to your reader. When you write think of different angles of the problem and wonder aloud about different solutions.
Many a poet has inspired world leaders to reconsider a policy position or expand their belief system. Many of our American Presidents have been strongly influenced by their favorite poets. "When power narrows the areas of a man's concerns, poetry reminds him of the richness and diversity of his existence." - President John F.Kennedy
As you explore how to write your own poetry, consider challenging and expanding your own belief system. "Be the change in the world you wish to see." - Gandhi
Here's the best of what I gleaned for you to enjoy!
Photo of e. e. cummings blue bench - click on the Photo Credits link for more information and the poem written on the bench enlarged to read.
Quotes
* I could no more define poetry than a terrier can define a rat. - A. E. Housman
* I gave up on new poetry myself thirty years ago, when most of it began to read like coded messages passing between lonely aliens on a hostile world. - Russell Baker
* Poetry is the language in which man explores his own amazement. - Christopher Fry
* If Galileo had said in verse that the world moved, the Inquisition might have let him alone. - Thomas Hardy
* A poet is a man who puts up a ladder to a star and climbs it while playing a violin. - Edmond de Goncourt
A few cheeky poems:
Browsing the dim back corner
Of a musty antique shop
Opened an old book of poetry
Angels flew out from the pages
I caught the whiff of a soul
The ink seemed fresh as today
Was that voices whispering?
The tree of the paper still grows. - Pixie Foudre
If conditions aren't right
The poem won't come out
It will sit inside and stew
And emerge a different beast. - Ed Northstrum
There is no happiness like mine.
I have been eating poetry. - Mark Strand, "Eating Poetry," Reasons for Moving, 1968
Quotes
* You will find poetry nowhere unless you bring some of it with you. – Joseph Joubert
* Science is for those who learn; poetry, for those who know. - Joseph Roux, Meditations of a Parish Priest
* Poetry is an echo, asking a shadow to dance. - Carl Sandburg
* The worst fate of a poet is to be admired without being understood. - Jean Cocteau, Le Rappel á l'ordre, 1926
* A poet's autobiography is his poetry. Anything else is just a footnote. - Yevgeny Yentushenko, The Sole Survivor, 1982
* Poets are like baseball pitchers. Both have their moments. The intervals are the tough things. - Robert Frost
* Like a piece of ice on a hot stove the poem must ride on its own melting. - Robert Frost
* A poet looks at the world the way a man looks at a woman. - Wallace Stevens, Opus Posthumous, 1957
* A sold poem loses half its meaning. - Glade Byron Addams
* Poetry is not a turning loose of emotion, but an escape from emotion; it is not the expression of personality, but an escape from personality. But, of course, only those who have personality and emotions know what it means to want to escape from these things. - T.S. Eliot, Tradition and the Individual Talent, 1919
* I would as soon write free verse as play tennis with the net down. - Robert Frost, 1935
* Poetry is not a civilizer, rather the reverse, for great poetry appeals to the most primitive instincts. - Robinson Jeffers
* When you read and understand a poem, comprehending its rich and formal meanings, then you master chaos a little. - Stephen Spender
* Poets are like magicians, searching for magical phrases to pull rabbits out of people's souls. - Glade Byron Addams
* It is a sad fact about our culture that a poet can earn much more money writing or talking about his art than he can by practicing it. - W.H. Auden
* To be a poet is a condition, not a profession. – Robert Frost
* No poems can please for long or live that are written by water-drinkers. - Horace (Quintus Horatius Flaccus), Satires
* A poet dares be just so clear and no clearer.... He unzips the veil from beauty, but does not remove it. A poet utterly clear is a trifle glaring. - E.B. White
* Poets have been mysteriously silent on the subject of cheese. - G.K. Chesterton
* A poet's work is to name the unnameable, to point at frauds, to take sides, start arguments, shape the world, and stop it going to sleep. - Salman Rushdie
* I've written some poetry I don't understand myself. - Carl Sandburg
* Poetry is a packsack of invisible keepsakes. - Carl Sandburg
* A poet can survive everything but a misprint. - Oscar Wilde
* Poets are the unacknowledged legislators of the world. - Percy Byshe Shelley
This photo has a great story from the photographer too, click on the Photo Credits link to read.
* The poet is a liar who always speaks the truth. - Jean Cocteau
* Publishing a volume of verse is like dropping a rose-petal down the Grand Canyon and waiting for the echo. - Don Marquis
* Not everyone who drinks is a poet. Some of us drink because we're not poets. - Dudley Moore
* Poetry heals the wounds inflicted by reason. - Novalis
* Poets are literal-minded men who will squeeze a word till it hurts. - Archibald MacLeish
* Poets, we know, are terribly sensitive people, and in my observation one of the things they are most sensitive about is money. - Robert Penn Warren
* The phone rings and I curse. Literary editor. Seasonal verse. - Wendy Cope
* There is the view that poetry should improve your life. I think people confuse it with the Salvation Army. - John Ashbery
* To have great poets, there must be great audiences too. - Walt Whitman
* Written poetry is worth reading once, and then should be destroyed. Let the dead poets make way for others. Then we might even come to see that it is our veneration for what has already been created, however beautiful and valid it may be, that petrifies us. - Antonin Artaud
* You don't have to suffer to be a poet; adolescence is enough suffering for anyone. - John Ciardi
* Poetry is what gets lost in translation. - Robert Frost
* Poetry is the journal of the sea animal living on land, wanting to fly in the air. Poetry is a search for syllables to shoot at the barriers of the unknown and the unknowable. Poetry is a phantom script telling how rainbows are made and why they go away. - Carl Sandburg, Poetry Considered
* Out of the quarrel with others we make rhetoric; out of the quarrel with ourselves we make poetry. - W.B. Yeats
And let the voices from our ancient world history have the last words:
* Poetry is nearer to vital truth than history. - Plato
* The distinction between historian and poet is not in the one writing prose and the other verse... the one describes the thing that has been, and the other a kind of thing that might be. Hence poetry is something more philosophic and of graver import than history, since its statements are of the nature rather of universals, whereas those of history are singulars. - Aristotle, On Poetics
***
Photo Credits
Photo of spiraling downward staircase - no attibution
From Denny: While I was setting up a new account on Twitter now called DennyLyon7 (the old one - warriorlight - got messed up from putting a badge of support on my avatar.
Note to self:Never put a badge of support on your avatar ever again. Write this 1,000 times on the blackboard or digital equivalent thereof. It was a lemonade badge to support kids with cancer. No good deed goes unpunished. :)
So, while I was laughing at myself (and groaning about all the tedious tech work for the past week this has required) I thought I'd fish around for some funny quotes about human nature so you could laugh with me! Even the dog is laughing...
Quotes
* Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not, a sense of humor to console him for what he is. - Oscar Wilde
* All men are frauds. The only difference between them is that some admit it. I myself deny it. - H. L. Mencken
And my absolute favorite:
* Never be afraid to laugh at yourself, after all, you could be missing out on the joke of the century. - Dame Edna Everage
From Denny: A new quote site I found is CoolNSmart and they sure have some funny ones! They don't give attribution as to who said the quotes though so you lose half of the experience. Other than that they go on for days with the funny sayings.
Listed under their category of Clever Quotes and Sayings are a few goodies to whet your word treat appetite:
* A man likes his wife to be just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness, and just stupid enough to admire it.
* A clever man commits no minor blunders.
* How clever you are, my dear! You never mean a single word you say. (Could this be wife to former President Bush...?)
* I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying. (Now we know this is a Bush quote.)
* It’s good to be clever, but not to show it.
* To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance. (This sounds a lot like Oscar Wilde.)
* Clever people master life; the wise illuminate it and create fresh difficulties. (Love this one!)
* Copying from a single source is called plagiarism, copying from multiple source is called research. (Excepting when you site and/or quote them!)
* If you’re not very clever you should be conciliatory.
* Two things are infinite : the universe and human stupidity; I’m not sure about the universe.
* A lawyer with a briefcase can steal more than a thousand men with guns.
* Nothing shows a man’s character more than what he laughs at.
* Between thought and expression lies a lifetime.
* If you try to fail and succeed, then which have you done?
And under the category of Men Quotes (I'll equally skewer my fellow women on another Cheeky Quote Day, never fear!):
* If you never want to see a man again, say, ‘I love you, I want to marry you. I want to have children…’ - they leave skid marks.
* There are three stages of man: He believes in Santa Claus; he doesn’t believe in Santa Claus; he is Santa Claus.
* The best way to get a man to do something is to suggest they are too old for it. (Works every time!)
* Man has will, but woman has her way.
* If you want something said, ask a man; if you want something done, ask a woman.
* A gentleman is simply a patient wolf. (Yeah, but at least they have more finesse.)
* Never trust a husband too far or a bachelor too near.
* To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.
* I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.
Hike on over to their site for more grins! Have a good work week!
Note: BTW, there wasn't any This Week: Roundup of Sundays Funnies because they were no updates on their site yet for this week. Guess all the internationaly breaking news took precedence over the funnies updating of the late night shows.
Clown Photo by Tansan @ flickr
Santa Claus, George W. Bush, Cheeky Quote Day, Kids and Teens, People and Society, Quotations, Holidays, Christmas, Oscar Wilde
From Denny: I've started developing a second quotes blog, Dennys Funny Quotes. The blog is set up with lists of quotes as opposed to how I do commentary on Beautiful Illustrated Quotations that are quotes used more as meditations.
Dennys Funny Quotes has a good start; rest assured I will be adding much more and creating new lists. This new blog is my own place to get a grin when life gets too serious - so I thought I'd share with you too. Of course, I couldn't resist the visual pun on my last name: Lyon = roaring with laughter lion logo. In my sometimes cracked mind that's just one more thing to find funny. Life is hard enough; laugh your way through it!
Here are some of the grins I'm finding these days for you to enjoy. Hey! It's Wednesday and it's Hump Day of the Work Week and we all need some giggle fuel to keep us going to TGIF. That's short for Thank God It's Friday to my readers outside America - can you tell I lived internationally and am accustomed to explaining word choices and customs to those who are not familiar? :) Whenever I travel people are kind enough to explain their culture to me and how they do things in their country so I always try to "pay it forward" and do the same for others.
Quotes
"Twitter was invented by men. A woman would have chosen a higher character limit." - Anonymous
"I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody." - Bill Cosby
“If you must have motivation, think of your paycheck on Friday.” Noel Coward
“True love is like a pair of socks: you gotta have two and they've gotta match.” - Groucho Marx
“I don't have a photograph, but you can have my footprints. They're upstairs in my socks.” - Groucho Marx
“When you're up to your nose in sh*t, keep your mouth shut.” - Anonymous (Trying to keep the GP rating here, folks...)
"If it weren't for women, men would still be wearing last week's socks.” - Cynthia Nelms
(Amazing how many "socks" quotes there are out there. Do people really wear socks anymore?)
"Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy." - Steven Wright
“I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.” Woody Allen
"Love lasteth as long as the money endureth." - William Caxton
"The perfect love affair is one which is conducted entirely by post." - George Bernard Shaw
"Love is like the measles; we all have to go through it." - Jerome K. Jerome
"True love comes quietly, without banners or flashing lights. If you hear bells, get your ears checked." - Erich Segal
"Sometimes I lie awake at night, and I ask, 'Where have I gone wrong?' Then a voice says to me, 'This is going to take more than one night.'"
"'I am' is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that 'I do' is the longest sentence?" - (understandable) Anonymous
"I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back." - Henny Youngman
Woody Allen in The Moose
"Marriage is a great institution, but I'm not ready for an institution yet." - Mae West
"In life, it's not who you know that's important, it's how your wife found out." - Joey Adams
"Cosmetics is a boon to every woman, but a girl's best friend is still a nearsighted man." - Yoko Ono
"Have a great Wednesday and keep laughing; Friday is so close by you can smell the weekend perfume!" - Denny Lyon
Groucho Marx, George Bernard Shaw, the social poets, English language, Humor, Quotation, Recreation, Yoko Ono, Woody Allen, Arts, Quotations, Noël Coward, Erich Segal, Cheeky Quote Day, Dennys Funny Quotes, Denny Lyon, Quotations, Humor, Relationships, Society and Culture
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