Sometimes, when you report all the time on how crazy politics can get - like with Fox "News" and Glenn Beck pronouncements - a guy just has to start a "new political movement."
Showing posts with label The Daily Show. Show all posts
Showing posts with label The Daily Show. Show all posts
23 August 2010
Funny Video: Campy Bed Bug PSA
*** Leave it to Jon Stewart to ferret out the campiest PSA done on bedbugs.
From Denny: This is a video clip of the segment called "Bed Bug & Beyond" from The Daily Show and Jon Stewart. Talk about strange. Famous Italian actress, Isabella Rossellini, stars in an avant-garde PSA that teaches us about the bed bug infestation. This PSA actually discusses bed bug sexual anatomy and fertility. Yeah, that's right. I told you this crazy video was campy.
*** Return to main post for more funny video links:
Roundup of Late Night Funnies - 23 Aug 2010 - Check out the latest jokes from late night comics this week, along with some of the most current cartoons and LOL funniest videos from the likes of Colbert and Stewart.
*** THANKS for visiting, feel welcome to drop a comment or opinion, enjoy bookmarking this post on your favorite social site, a big shout out to awesome current subscribers – and if you are new to this blog, please subscribe in a reader or by email updates!
*** Come by for a visit and check out my other blogs:
The Social Poets - news, politics
The Soul Calendar - science, astronomy, psychology
Visual Insights - photos, art, music
Beautiful Illustrated Quotations - spiritual quotes, philosophy
Poems From A Spiritual Heart - poetry
The Healing Waters - health news
Dennys People Watching - people in the news
Dennys Food and Recipes
Dennys Funny Quotes - humor
From Denny: This is a video clip of the segment called "Bed Bug & Beyond" from The Daily Show and Jon Stewart. Talk about strange. Famous Italian actress, Isabella Rossellini, stars in an avant-garde PSA that teaches us about the bed bug infestation. This PSA actually discusses bed bug sexual anatomy and fertility. Yeah, that's right. I told you this crazy video was campy.
| The Daily Show With Jon Stewart | Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c | |||
| Bed Bug & Beyond<a> | ||||
| ||||
*** Return to main post for more funny video links:
Roundup of Late Night Funnies - 23 Aug 2010 - Check out the latest jokes from late night comics this week, along with some of the most current cartoons and LOL funniest videos from the likes of Colbert and Stewart.
*** THANKS for visiting, feel welcome to drop a comment or opinion, enjoy bookmarking this post on your favorite social site, a big shout out to awesome current subscribers – and if you are new to this blog, please subscribe in a reader or by email updates!
*** Come by for a visit and check out my other blogs:
The Social Poets - news, politics
The Soul Calendar - science, astronomy, psychology
Visual Insights - photos, art, music
Beautiful Illustrated Quotations - spiritual quotes, philosophy
Poems From A Spiritual Heart - poetry
The Healing Waters - health news
Dennys People Watching - people in the news
Dennys Food and Recipes
Dennys Funny Quotes - humor
21 June 2010
Funny Video: Stewarts Take On America's Oil Dependence
*** Stewart thinks America is now listening about getting off oil dependence - or not.
From Denny: Stewart pointed out that President Obama is actually not the first president trying to wean America off our oil dependence. So, Stewart went off on a little history lesson tour starting with Tricky Dick Nixon. To date there have been eight presidents, count them, eight presidents trying to get across to us we have to get serious about moving America toward a non-petroleum based future. We must become independent of fossil fuels. Hmmm... how about telling that to the oil and gas industry that buys up new alternative energy patents so the public never sees them - and so we are forced to continue buying fossil fuels. Anyone see the obvious connection here?
*** Return to main post: Roundup of Late Night Funnies - 21 June 2010
*** THANKS for visiting, feel welcome to drop a comment or opinion, enjoy bookmarking this post on your favorite social site, a big shout out to awesome current subscribers – and if you are new to this blog, please subscribe in a reader or by email updates!
From Denny: Stewart pointed out that President Obama is actually not the first president trying to wean America off our oil dependence. So, Stewart went off on a little history lesson tour starting with Tricky Dick Nixon. To date there have been eight presidents, count them, eight presidents trying to get across to us we have to get serious about moving America toward a non-petroleum based future. We must become independent of fossil fuels. Hmmm... how about telling that to the oil and gas industry that buys up new alternative energy patents so the public never sees them - and so we are forced to continue buying fossil fuels. Anyone see the obvious connection here?
| The Daily Show With Jon Stewart | Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c | |||
| An Energy-Independent Future | ||||
| ||||
*** Return to main post: Roundup of Late Night Funnies - 21 June 2010
*** THANKS for visiting, feel welcome to drop a comment or opinion, enjoy bookmarking this post on your favorite social site, a big shout out to awesome current subscribers – and if you are new to this blog, please subscribe in a reader or by email updates!
Funny Video: Stewart Calls Joe Barton A 'Disdainful A--hole'
*** That now famous sucking up of GOP Joe Barton to give a crazy BP apology that shocked and angered America. Talk about a guy ready to leave politics and get a job with the oil industry. Comics love to lampoon dirty politicians like this one.
From Denny: We all know that Jon Stewart on The Daily Show is far from shy about expressing his feelings. He called out GOP Congressman Joe Barton of Texas for being so stupid as to paint BP as the victim in this oil spill and actually apologize to Hayward who was getting grilled by Congress. You know, the standard grilling that involves questions for which we want answers only to get stonewalled with weak answers like "I wasn't there" that came out of Hayward's lying mouth.
This lame apology business was just ripe for mocking with a full lampoon from the comics and Stewart did not mince his words. After all, this BP apology was such a ridiculous and downright incredulous moment that it deserved to be royally mocked.
To call a claims fund a "shakedown" rocketed Barton to the top of the list, landing him on the cover of "Disdainful A$$hole" Magazine.
*** Return to main post: Roundup of Late Night Funnies - 21 June 2010
*** Photo by I'm Fantastic @ flickr
*** THANKS for visiting, feel welcome to drop a comment or opinion, enjoy bookmarking this post on your favorite social site, a big shout out to awesome current subscribers – and if you are new to this blog, please subscribe in a reader or by email updates!
From Denny: We all know that Jon Stewart on The Daily Show is far from shy about expressing his feelings. He called out GOP Congressman Joe Barton of Texas for being so stupid as to paint BP as the victim in this oil spill and actually apologize to Hayward who was getting grilled by Congress. You know, the standard grilling that involves questions for which we want answers only to get stonewalled with weak answers like "I wasn't there" that came out of Hayward's lying mouth.
This lame apology business was just ripe for mocking with a full lampoon from the comics and Stewart did not mince his words. After all, this BP apology was such a ridiculous and downright incredulous moment that it deserved to be royally mocked.
To call a claims fund a "shakedown" rocketed Barton to the top of the list, landing him on the cover of "Disdainful A$$hole" Magazine.
| The Daily Show With Jon Stewart | Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c | |||
| Day 59 - Judgment Day - The Strife Aquatic | ||||
| ||||
*** Return to main post: Roundup of Late Night Funnies - 21 June 2010
*** Photo by I'm Fantastic @ flickr
*** THANKS for visiting, feel welcome to drop a comment or opinion, enjoy bookmarking this post on your favorite social site, a big shout out to awesome current subscribers – and if you are new to this blog, please subscribe in a reader or by email updates!
01 February 2010
Roundup of Late Night Funnies 1 Feb 2010
From Denny: Now that the New Orleans Saints football team is suddenly doing well - we have only been waiting 40 years - and going to the Super Bowl it turns out the NFL thinks they can can cash in and actually trademark the saying, "Who dat?" You have got to be kidding me! That saying is so old my grandfather had his first set of teeth.
Remember Hurricane Katrina? Who could forget? Well, I live in south Louisiana in the capital city of Baton Rouge. When Katrina struck it wasn't long before New Orleans folks evacuated and came rolling into my city like a fierce storm of locust brothers. They drained dry every gas station within 20 miles of my house and they raided all the grocery stores, taking three weeks for them to get re-supplied.
(Did I mention the U. S. Army was stationed about two miles down the road from my area of middle class neighborhoods? It was a bit creepy knowing the military was camped near your house; it felt like we were almost under martial law. That's as close as they could get to New Orleans to set up supply stations - an hour away drive time, that's how messed up were the interstate roads.)
Then New Orleans folks swelled the population of this city overnight to double. Did I mention New Orleans folks do not know how to drive or drive courteously? They caused so many accidents there were not enough police to cover them, no kidding. They were like madmen on the road. So, what did Baton Rouge folks nickname the New Orleans evacuees? Yep, you guessed it: Who Dat?
Every time I turned around for months later I knew when a Baton Rouge person passed me in a store because they were muttering under their breath, "The Who Dats, they're everywhere!"
The "Who Dat?" saying goes back to the 9th ward of New Orleans. Guess what, NFL, you have no right to it. What lives in New Orleans, belongs to New Orleans.
Stepping off my cultural soapbox... :)
The late night show guys were talking about President Obama's State of the Union address. You know, President Bush did such an effective job of ticking off everyone across the country - because he bungled his term - that now no one has any confidence in government.
It's a steep climb for Obama. Maybe we all should have voted for a throw away presidency like Ralph Nadar? He would have come in like a storm-trooper, stomped the Republicans into the ground, thrown the crooks in jail and tarred and feathered all the lobbyists, running them out of town. It sure would have been easier for Obama to then be his follow-up act as Mister Nice Guy after that presidency. Everybody would have cooperated! :)
About the State of the Union Address
From Jimmy Kimmel:
Well, tonight in Washington, President Barack Obama gave his State of the Union address before a joint session of Congress. Joint session sounds like more fun than it is.
The speech tonight was pretty much the same thing we hear over and over again, asking us for patience and a willingness to sacrifice, things we are totally unwilling to do as Americans.
But then after the president spoke, the Republicans gave their rebuttal, during which they pointed out that Obama has repeatedly failed to solve any of the problems they created under President Bush.
Neither one of these parties cares as much about the country as they do about being the one who gets to run the country. It's a big waste, and it's a big waste of air time that could be better spent on celebrities ice skating or conveyor belts of love, things like that.
On other matters from Jimmy Kimmel:
The Supreme Court today ruled in a five votes to four decision that corporations can now spend as much as they want on political campaigns. In other words, if Exxon or Dow wants to support a candidate, they can give him or her as much money as they want. I can’t see that having any negative repercussions, can you?
The court ruled that corporations should be given the same right to free speech as people, which is — I mean, corporations are not people, and if they were people, they’d be real jerks.
I just want to mention, if anybody wants to pay me $45 million to go home, I'll go. I'll walk home. To Brooklyn. I'm just putting that out there. That's a lot of money. I hear Haiti is trying to figure out how to get fired by NBC.
NBC has reached an agreement with Conan O'Brien. He's going to get $32 million and his staff will split up $12 million. Which I would cash those checks immediately. They're saying that if, putting 30 doesn't work, the plan is to close NBC down and turn it into a Costco.
Jon Stewart comments upon Obama taking on naughty bankers, Wall Street responds to Obama's threats and George Bush takes credit for the economic recovery:
From Jay Leno:
Tomorrow night, President Obama will give his State of the Union address. The White House says the speech will focus on American jobs. So, I guess he's going to talk a lot about India.
Focus on jobs. This is going to be the shortest speech in history. 'Hey, there aren't any. Thank you. Good night.'
President Obama has now been called for jury duty in Chicago. I think he should go. I mean, the economy is in bad shape. We could use five bucks a day. Every little bit helps.
Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger announced that California can save money by no longer incarcerating illegal immigrants and just sending them to Mexico instead. Well, actually, today, the immigrants had three words for Schwarzenegger — 'I'll be back.'
More problems for Goldman Sachs. Did you know the tax rate it paid on its profits last year was 0.6 percent? And of course, the CEO of Goldman Sachs was furious when he heard this. He said: 'What? When did we start paying taxes? This is ridiculous.'
Wal-Mart announced it's cutting over 11,000 jobs. Wal-Mart said it's cheaper to fire people in bulk.
That's an amazing amount of people: 11,000 jobs. The problem is they made the announcement in English, so everybody kept showing up for work.
On other subjects from Jay Leno:
And learning more and more about the new Massachusetts senator, Scott Brown. Well, you probably know this. Back in 1982, he posed naked for Cosmo. Yeah, isn't that amazing? He's got it backwards. First you get elected to the Senate, then you get caught with your pants down. It's the other way. He seems to be very confused.
Well, this is kind of embarrassing. At a speech to school kids in an elementary school in Virginia, President Obama used the teleprompter. He had a teleprompter set up to talk to the kids. The topic of the speech: Never taking the easy way out by bringing a cheat sheet to school.
Congratulations to the Indianapolis Colts and the New Orleans Saints. They're going to the Super Bowl. The Saints beat the Vikings. Former President George Bush Sr., he was at the game. Now, his son George W. was invited. But you know him, when it comes to New Orleans, he's always, like, two weeks late.
From Conan O'Brien as he left NBC:
I did it my way, with people I love, and I do not regret a second. I've had more good fortune than anyone I know, and if our next gig is doing a show in a 7-Eleven parking lot, we'll find a way to make it fun. As I set off for exciting new career opportunities, I just want to make one thing clear to everyone listening out there: I will do nudity.
An Inconvenient Trial - wondering if trying Khalid Sheikh Mohammed in New York is worth the inconvenience it will cause. Aw, come on, when it comes to terrorism America doesn't want to bother to catch Osama bin Laden; he's too much fun to chase. Besides, it's more fun to take down all his lieutenants, forcing him to start all over again on a new psychopath employment agency. We like to keep our enemies on the run, looking over their shoulder and make them work harder than they ever thought possible. Who thought staying alive would be such a hard job?
From the villain Valdamort the Blow Hard who needs to pay a visit to the Wizard of Oz and shop for a new heart:
We've already donated to Haiti. It's called the U.S. income tax. - Rush Limbaugh, discouraging donations to relief efforts in Haiti after the devastating earthquake, Jan. 13, 2010
Here's a guy who missed his calling and should have written for TV soap operas or Harlequin Books because he has such a flare for the melodramatic:
The feminist agenda is not about equal rights for women. It is about a socialist, anti-family political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians. - Evangelist Pat Robertson (who has got to be suffering from dementia)
Why has this guy not been arrested for making death threats?
I'm thinking about killing Michael Moore, and I'm wondering if I could kill him myself, or if I would need to hire somebody to do it. ... No, I think I could. I think he could be looking me in the eye, you know, and I could just be choking the life out. - Glenn Beck
Uh... what'd you say?
African-American is a bogus, PC, made-up term. I mean, that's not a race. Your ancestry is from Africa and now you live in America. — Glenn Beck, on his radio show, Jan. 7, 2010
Finally, a speck of truth:
You know, we all have our inner demons. I, for one — I can't speak for you, but I'm on the verge of moral collapse at any time. It can happen by the end of the show. — Glenn Beck, Nov. 6, 2006
He didn't really say this... did he?
We need to uptick our image with everyone, including one-armed midgets. - Republican National Committee Chairman Michael Steele, on the GOP's need for a hip-hop makeover, Feb 19, 2009
From David Letterman about the Conan vs. Jay fight at NBC:
They're having the auto show in Detroit. They've got a lot of concept vehicles. They have something they're calling the NBC concept car. Are you familiar with this? You push a button or throw a switch or something and the wheels come off.
People are saying tonight is Conan O'Brien's final night. So, it looks like I knocked off another competitor.
You know, you've got to love Jay. Jay is like a whack-a-mole. You think you've cancelled him and then he pops up in another time period.
*** ALSO for more laughs:
Funny Quotes From Curmudgeons: These Guys Need to Lighten Up!
15 Wild Cartoons on Prez Obamas 1st Year in Office
Its Official: Folks Bring Back Thiefing Republicans, Hand Senate Seat to Them
*** THANKS for visiting, come back often, feel free to leave a comment, a big shout out to current subscribers - and if you are new to this blog, please subscribe in a reader or by email!
Remember Hurricane Katrina? Who could forget? Well, I live in south Louisiana in the capital city of Baton Rouge. When Katrina struck it wasn't long before New Orleans folks evacuated and came rolling into my city like a fierce storm of locust brothers. They drained dry every gas station within 20 miles of my house and they raided all the grocery stores, taking three weeks for them to get re-supplied.
(Did I mention the U. S. Army was stationed about two miles down the road from my area of middle class neighborhoods? It was a bit creepy knowing the military was camped near your house; it felt like we were almost under martial law. That's as close as they could get to New Orleans to set up supply stations - an hour away drive time, that's how messed up were the interstate roads.)
Then New Orleans folks swelled the population of this city overnight to double. Did I mention New Orleans folks do not know how to drive or drive courteously? They caused so many accidents there were not enough police to cover them, no kidding. They were like madmen on the road. So, what did Baton Rouge folks nickname the New Orleans evacuees? Yep, you guessed it: Who Dat?
Every time I turned around for months later I knew when a Baton Rouge person passed me in a store because they were muttering under their breath, "The Who Dats, they're everywhere!"
The "Who Dat?" saying goes back to the 9th ward of New Orleans. Guess what, NFL, you have no right to it. What lives in New Orleans, belongs to New Orleans.
Stepping off my cultural soapbox... :)
The late night show guys were talking about President Obama's State of the Union address. You know, President Bush did such an effective job of ticking off everyone across the country - because he bungled his term - that now no one has any confidence in government.
It's a steep climb for Obama. Maybe we all should have voted for a throw away presidency like Ralph Nadar? He would have come in like a storm-trooper, stomped the Republicans into the ground, thrown the crooks in jail and tarred and feathered all the lobbyists, running them out of town. It sure would have been easier for Obama to then be his follow-up act as Mister Nice Guy after that presidency. Everybody would have cooperated! :)
About the State of the Union Address
From Jimmy Kimmel:
Well, tonight in Washington, President Barack Obama gave his State of the Union address before a joint session of Congress. Joint session sounds like more fun than it is.
The speech tonight was pretty much the same thing we hear over and over again, asking us for patience and a willingness to sacrifice, things we are totally unwilling to do as Americans.
But then after the president spoke, the Republicans gave their rebuttal, during which they pointed out that Obama has repeatedly failed to solve any of the problems they created under President Bush.
Neither one of these parties cares as much about the country as they do about being the one who gets to run the country. It's a big waste, and it's a big waste of air time that could be better spent on celebrities ice skating or conveyor belts of love, things like that.
On other matters from Jimmy Kimmel:
The Supreme Court today ruled in a five votes to four decision that corporations can now spend as much as they want on political campaigns. In other words, if Exxon or Dow wants to support a candidate, they can give him or her as much money as they want. I can’t see that having any negative repercussions, can you?
The court ruled that corporations should be given the same right to free speech as people, which is — I mean, corporations are not people, and if they were people, they’d be real jerks.
I just want to mention, if anybody wants to pay me $45 million to go home, I'll go. I'll walk home. To Brooklyn. I'm just putting that out there. That's a lot of money. I hear Haiti is trying to figure out how to get fired by NBC.
NBC has reached an agreement with Conan O'Brien. He's going to get $32 million and his staff will split up $12 million. Which I would cash those checks immediately. They're saying that if, putting 30 doesn't work, the plan is to close NBC down and turn it into a Costco.
Jon Stewart comments upon Obama taking on naughty bankers, Wall Street responds to Obama's threats and George Bush takes credit for the economic recovery:
| The Daily Show With Jon Stewart | Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c | |||
| Obama Takes On Bankers | ||||
| ||||
From Jay Leno:
Tomorrow night, President Obama will give his State of the Union address. The White House says the speech will focus on American jobs. So, I guess he's going to talk a lot about India.
Focus on jobs. This is going to be the shortest speech in history. 'Hey, there aren't any. Thank you. Good night.'
President Obama has now been called for jury duty in Chicago. I think he should go. I mean, the economy is in bad shape. We could use five bucks a day. Every little bit helps.
Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger announced that California can save money by no longer incarcerating illegal immigrants and just sending them to Mexico instead. Well, actually, today, the immigrants had three words for Schwarzenegger — 'I'll be back.'
More problems for Goldman Sachs. Did you know the tax rate it paid on its profits last year was 0.6 percent? And of course, the CEO of Goldman Sachs was furious when he heard this. He said: 'What? When did we start paying taxes? This is ridiculous.'
Wal-Mart announced it's cutting over 11,000 jobs. Wal-Mart said it's cheaper to fire people in bulk.
That's an amazing amount of people: 11,000 jobs. The problem is they made the announcement in English, so everybody kept showing up for work.
On other subjects from Jay Leno:
And learning more and more about the new Massachusetts senator, Scott Brown. Well, you probably know this. Back in 1982, he posed naked for Cosmo. Yeah, isn't that amazing? He's got it backwards. First you get elected to the Senate, then you get caught with your pants down. It's the other way. He seems to be very confused.
Well, this is kind of embarrassing. At a speech to school kids in an elementary school in Virginia, President Obama used the teleprompter. He had a teleprompter set up to talk to the kids. The topic of the speech: Never taking the easy way out by bringing a cheat sheet to school.
Congratulations to the Indianapolis Colts and the New Orleans Saints. They're going to the Super Bowl. The Saints beat the Vikings. Former President George Bush Sr., he was at the game. Now, his son George W. was invited. But you know him, when it comes to New Orleans, he's always, like, two weeks late.
From Conan O'Brien as he left NBC:
I did it my way, with people I love, and I do not regret a second. I've had more good fortune than anyone I know, and if our next gig is doing a show in a 7-Eleven parking lot, we'll find a way to make it fun. As I set off for exciting new career opportunities, I just want to make one thing clear to everyone listening out there: I will do nudity.
An Inconvenient Trial - wondering if trying Khalid Sheikh Mohammed in New York is worth the inconvenience it will cause. Aw, come on, when it comes to terrorism America doesn't want to bother to catch Osama bin Laden; he's too much fun to chase. Besides, it's more fun to take down all his lieutenants, forcing him to start all over again on a new psychopath employment agency. We like to keep our enemies on the run, looking over their shoulder and make them work harder than they ever thought possible. Who thought staying alive would be such a hard job?
| The Daily Show With Jon Stewart | Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c | |||
| An Inconvenient Trial | ||||
| ||||
From the villain Valdamort the Blow Hard who needs to pay a visit to the Wizard of Oz and shop for a new heart:
We've already donated to Haiti. It's called the U.S. income tax. - Rush Limbaugh, discouraging donations to relief efforts in Haiti after the devastating earthquake, Jan. 13, 2010
Here's a guy who missed his calling and should have written for TV soap operas or Harlequin Books because he has such a flare for the melodramatic:
The feminist agenda is not about equal rights for women. It is about a socialist, anti-family political movement that encourages women to leave their husbands, kill their children, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians. - Evangelist Pat Robertson (who has got to be suffering from dementia)
Why has this guy not been arrested for making death threats?
I'm thinking about killing Michael Moore, and I'm wondering if I could kill him myself, or if I would need to hire somebody to do it. ... No, I think I could. I think he could be looking me in the eye, you know, and I could just be choking the life out. - Glenn Beck
Uh... what'd you say?
African-American is a bogus, PC, made-up term. I mean, that's not a race. Your ancestry is from Africa and now you live in America. — Glenn Beck, on his radio show, Jan. 7, 2010
Finally, a speck of truth:
You know, we all have our inner demons. I, for one — I can't speak for you, but I'm on the verge of moral collapse at any time. It can happen by the end of the show. — Glenn Beck, Nov. 6, 2006
He didn't really say this... did he?
We need to uptick our image with everyone, including one-armed midgets. - Republican National Committee Chairman Michael Steele, on the GOP's need for a hip-hop makeover, Feb 19, 2009
From David Letterman about the Conan vs. Jay fight at NBC:
They're having the auto show in Detroit. They've got a lot of concept vehicles. They have something they're calling the NBC concept car. Are you familiar with this? You push a button or throw a switch or something and the wheels come off.
People are saying tonight is Conan O'Brien's final night. So, it looks like I knocked off another competitor.
You know, you've got to love Jay. Jay is like a whack-a-mole. You think you've cancelled him and then he pops up in another time period.
*** ALSO for more laughs:
Funny Quotes From Curmudgeons: These Guys Need to Lighten Up!
15 Wild Cartoons on Prez Obamas 1st Year in Office
Its Official: Folks Bring Back Thiefing Republicans, Hand Senate Seat to Them
*** THANKS for visiting, come back often, feel free to leave a comment, a big shout out to current subscribers - and if you are new to this blog, please subscribe in a reader or by email!
24 August 2009
This Weeks Roundup of Sunday Funnies - Afghanistans Run Off Election
... And this is pretty much how WOMEN feel about the TALIBAN interfering in their lives!!
From Denny: Guess you can tell I'm no fan of the idiot group known as the Taliban.
Anyway, I'm not losing any sleep over the criticism about the Taliban from the late night show comics of late. Have at it, boys! :) It's an ultra light roasting today as it is... Where are those scorcher comedians when you need one...? :)
Real Time with Bill Maher
Bill Maher: So they're going to have a run off election in Afghanistan. that's when the Taliban shows up and everyone runs off.
Late Show
Dave Letterman: Do you know what's deserted in Washington, D.C? Anybody here from Washington? Look at the shot of the Lincoln Memorial. Get in tight on that. Look at this (shows Lincoln Memorial, pushes into empty chair) everybody's gone, even Abe.
Real Time with Bill Maher
Bill Maher: That is what American democracy has come down to at town halls: old people and gun nuts, which is a terrible combination. Somebody yelled AK-47, and an old lady yelled bingo.
The Tonight Show
Conan O'Brien: Critics of the federal stimulus plan say that millions of dollars are being wasted on fixing up bathrooms at our national parks. Yeah, fixing up the bathrooms. Yeah, they may be right, 'cause, this week, they turned Old Faithful into a bidet.
Late Show
Dave Letterman: 90% of all paper money in this country has traces of cocaine. Talk about your stimulus money.
The Daily Show
Barney Frank at town hall: Ma'am, trying to have a conversation with you would be like trying to argue with a dining room table.
Jon Stewart: It's time for health care town hall, snap! You better hope Blue Cross doesn't consider ugly a pre-existing condition. Oh, damn! Your momma's so dumb she thinks the public option is a port-a-potty.
The Tonight Show, Bill Maher, Real Time with Bill Maher, David Letterman, The Daily Show, Conan O'Brien, Late Show Craig Ferguson, Jon Stewart, health care, Barney Frank, Taliban, federal stimulus, town hall meetings
27 April 2009
From This Week: Roundup of Sunday Funnies
Funnies: Obama Shirtless -- Just Like We Are
The Late Show
David Letterman: President Obama has kind of a happier outlook. He said instead of waterboarding terrorists, he's going to put them in dunk tanks.
The Late Late Show
Craig Ferguson: Another magazine has Barack Obama appearing shirtless in it. I think most Americans will identify with him. Most have lost their shirts.
The Daily Show
Jon Stewart: You really have to waterboard something 183 times?! Doesn't the efficacy go down? I assume after 90 waterboardings the guy is thinking, 'You are not really drowning me, are you?'
Jimmy Kimmel Live
Jimmy Kimmel: Thanks to the economy there's a new special day for parents and kids. This Wednesday, April 29, is national take your child to where you used to work day.
The Tonight Show
Jay Leno: President Barack Obama held his first full Cabinet meeting yesterday. He told his Cabinet to ensure that every tax dollar is spent wisely. And then there was one embarrassing moment when he had to explain to the Cabinet what a taxpayer was.
The Colbert Report
Steven Colbert: According to [George] Will, "Denim is the clerical vestment for the priesthood of all believers in democracy's catechism of leveling." Good thing I have this handy George Will-to-English dictionary. I picked it up at the George Stephanopoulos Roundtable gift shop.
The Late Show
David Letterman: President Obama has kind of a happier outlook. He said instead of waterboarding terrorists, he's going to put them in dunk tanks.
The Late Late Show
Craig Ferguson: Another magazine has Barack Obama appearing shirtless in it. I think most Americans will identify with him. Most have lost their shirts.
The Daily Show
Jon Stewart: You really have to waterboard something 183 times?! Doesn't the efficacy go down? I assume after 90 waterboardings the guy is thinking, 'You are not really drowning me, are you?'
Jimmy Kimmel Live
Jimmy Kimmel: Thanks to the economy there's a new special day for parents and kids. This Wednesday, April 29, is national take your child to where you used to work day.
The Tonight Show
Jay Leno: President Barack Obama held his first full Cabinet meeting yesterday. He told his Cabinet to ensure that every tax dollar is spent wisely. And then there was one embarrassing moment when he had to explain to the Cabinet what a taxpayer was.
The Colbert Report
Steven Colbert: According to [George] Will, "Denim is the clerical vestment for the priesthood of all believers in democracy's catechism of leveling." Good thing I have this handy George Will-to-English dictionary. I picked it up at the George Stephanopoulos Roundtable gift shop.
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