Cheeky Quote Day! 5 August 2009

From Denny: A new quote site I found is CoolNSmart and they sure have some funny ones! They don't give attribution as to who said the quotes though so you lose half of the experience. Other than that they go on for days with the funny sayings.

Listed under their category of Clever Quotes and Sayings are a few goodies to whet your word treat appetite:

* A man likes his wife to be just clever enough to appreciate his cleverness, and just stupid enough to admire it.

* A clever man commits no minor blunders.

* How clever you are, my dear! You never mean a single word you say. (Could this be wife to former President Bush...?)

* I am so clever that sometimes I don’t understand a single word of what I am saying. (Now we know this is a Bush quote.)

* It’s good to be clever, but not to show it.

* To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance. (This sounds a lot like Oscar Wilde.)

* Clever people master life; the wise illuminate it and create fresh difficulties. (Love this one!)

* Copying from a single source is called plagiarism, copying from multiple source is called research. (Excepting when you site and/or quote them!)

* If you’re not very clever you should be conciliatory.

* Two things are infinite : the universe and human stupidity; I’m not sure about the universe.

* A lawyer with a briefcase can steal more than a thousand men with guns.

* Nothing shows a man’s character more than what he laughs at.

* Between thought and expression lies a lifetime.

* If you try to fail and succeed, then which have you done?

And under the category of Men Quotes (I'll equally skewer my fellow women on another Cheeky Quote Day, never fear!):

* If you never want to see a man again, say, ‘I love you, I want to marry you. I want to have children…’ - they leave skid marks.

* There are three stages of man: He believes in Santa Claus; he doesn’t believe in Santa Claus; he is Santa Claus.

* The best way to get a man to do something is to suggest they are too old for it. (Works every time!)

* Man has will, but woman has her way.

* If you want something said, ask a man; if you want something done, ask a woman.

* A gentleman is simply a patient wolf. (Yeah, but at least they have more finesse.)

* Never trust a husband too far or a bachelor too near.

* To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all.

* I think men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage. They’ve experienced pain and bought jewelry.

Hike on over to their site for more grins! Have a good work week!

Note: BTW, there wasn't any This Week: Roundup of Sundays Funnies because they were no updates on their site yet for this week. Guess all the internationaly breaking news took precedence over the funnies updating of the late night shows.

Clown Photo by Tansan @ flickr


Santa Claus, George W. Bush, Cheeky Quote Day, Kids and Teens, People and Society, Quotations, Holidays, Christmas, Oscar Wilde

New Book Titles Added to The Social Poets Store

From Denny: Don't you just love Twitter sometimes? While looking for something else I stumbled upon some great book tweets and decided to place them in the blog store for your perusal. They are listed under the category of Literay and then News and Politics or you can just click on the links below. Wish I had more time to read as these blogs are taking up all my time these days. If anyone has read these, please feel free to offer a review and opinion!

Considering how many death threats President Obama is getting these days what these books talk about is timely. Bush had only 3,000 threats a year. Obama's threat level increased by 400%. One plot by an idiot white supremacist group was to rob a gun store, kill 88 black people, decapitate another 14 black people and then assassinate the first African-American President in American history. The Secret Service foiled this one among many. (The CIA does similar throughout its history. Not everything they do is odious.)

Most reasons we never hear about these attempts is because the Secret Service and CIA are concerned about unoriginal types who will play copycat if the storyline is provided easily to them. What they lack in imagination they make up for in brutal stupidity and rash decisions.

During Obama's inauguration did you count the number of counter-sniper teams and other security detail along the parade route like I did? I was pleased to see such a high security presence and this book discusses just how much organization it takes to thwart the destructive elements of society. It also exposes how much the Bush administration ruined the Secret Service by placing it under Homeland Security and denying enough agents to carry out their mission properly. (Read that as they cut the budget.)

With the rise in Middle East terrorism affecting the rest of the globe this book on colonialism and its mentality is useful to understand today's politics. Americans are always hearing about the third world's anger toward the imperialists. This book offers up explanations and new insight.

Then there is a new book out of President John F. Kennedy, always an interesting person to read about even though his tenure at the White House was brief.

The write-ups that follow the book titles were quoted from Amazon.com.


In the President's Secret Service: Behind the Scenes with Agents in the Line of Fire and the Presidents They Protect By Ronald Kessler: Never before has a journalist penetrated the wall of secrecy that surrounds the U.S. Secret Service, that elite corps of agents who pledge to take a bullet to protect the president and his family. After conducting exclusive interviews with more than one hundred current and former Secret Service agents, bestselling author and award-winning reporter Ronald Kessler reveals their secrets for the first time.

Secret Service agents, acting as human surveillance cameras, observe everything that goes on behind the scenes in the president’s inner circle. Kessler reveals what they have seen, providing startling, previously untold stories about the presidents, from John F. Kennedy and Lyndon Johnson to George W. Bush and Barack Obama, as well as about their families, Cabinet officers, and White House aides.

Kessler portrays the dangers that agents face and how they carry out their missions–from how they are trained to how they spot and assess potential threats. With fly-on-the-wall perspective, he captures the drama and tension that characterize agents’ lives.

In this headline-grabbing book, Kessler discloses assassination attempts that have never before been revealed. He shares inside accounts of past assaults that have put the Secret Service to the test, including a heroic gun battle that took down the would-be assassins of Harry S. Truman, the devastating day that John F. Kennedy was killed in Dallas, and the swift actions that saved Ronald Reagan after he was shot.

While Secret Service agents are brave and dedicated, Kessler exposes how Secret Service management in recent years has betrayed its mission by cutting corners, risking the assassination of President Barack Obama, Vice President Joe Biden, and their families. Given the lax standards, “It’s a miracle we have not had a successful assassination,” a current agent says.

Since an assassination jeopardizes democracy itself, few agencies are as important as the Secret Service–nor is any other subject as tantalizing as the inner sanctum of the White House. Only tight-lipped Secret Service agents know the real story, and Ronald Kessler is the only journalist to have won their trust.

Cover via Amazon

An Unfinished Life: John F. Kennedy, 1917-1963 By Robert Dallek: An Unfinished Life is the first major, single-volume life of John F. Kennedy to be written by a historian in nearly four decades. Drawing upon previously unavailable material and never-before-opened archives to tell Kennedy's story. We learn for the first time just how sick Kennedy was, what medications he took and concealed from all but a few, and how severely his medical condition affected his actions as President. We learn for the first time the real story of how Bobby was selected as Attorney General. Dallek reveals exactly what Jack's father did to help his election to the presidency, and he follows previously unknown evidence to show what path JFK would have taken in the Vietnam entanglement had he survived.

Dallek (LIFTS) JFK out of the gossips and back onto the world stage, showing that while he was the son of privilege, he faced great obstacles and fought on with remarkable courage. Never shying away from Kennedy's weaknesses, Dallek also brilliantly explores his strengths. The result is a portrait of a bold, brave, human Kennedy, once again a hero.


Colonialism in Question: Theory, Knowledge, History By Frederick Cooper : In this closely integrated collection of essays on colonialism in world history, Frederick Cooper raises crucial questions about concepts relevant to a wide range of issues in the social sciences and humanities, including identity, globalization, and modernity. Rather than portray the past two centuries as the inevitable movement from empire to nation-state, Cooper places nationalism within a much wider range of imperial and diasporic imaginations, of rulers and ruled alike, well into the twentieth century. He addresses both the insights and the blind spots of colonial studies in an effort to get beyond the tendency in the field to focus on a generic colonialism located sometime between 1492 and the 1960s and somewhere in the "West." Broad-ranging, cogently argued, and with a historical focus that moves from Africa to South Asia to Europe, these essays, most published here for the first time, propose a fuller engagement in the give-and-take of history, not least in the ways in which concepts usually attributed to Western universalism--including citizenship and equality--were defined and reconfigured by political mobilizations in colonial contexts.

This Week: Roundup of Sunday Funnies - Biden Licks the Plates

From Denny: Here's the latest on the late night show funnies, enjoy!

Photo by Tansan @ flickr

The Late Show With David Letterman

David Letterman: [Former Vice President Dick Cheney's] speech went over pretty well. I mean, Cheney was interrupted five times by applause and 50 times by people screaming, "Stop! I'll tell you everything! What do you want to know?"

Late Night With Jimmy Fallon

Jimmy Fallon: Michelle Obama's on the cover of Time magazine this week. She says she has dinner with a Barack and the kids every night, and then -- oh, it's so cute -- Joe Biden jumps up and tries to lick the plates.

The Colbert Report

David Letterman: The C.I.A. fired back, saying, "It is not our policy or practice to mislead Congress." It's true. Sometimes they just get lucky.

Daily Show With Jon Stewart

Jon Stewart: [President Obama] opened with some familiar rhetoric.

President Obama: Keeping American people safe, it's the first thing I think about when I wake up.

Former President Bush: I wake up every day thinking about how I can best protect America.

Obama: You can't count on a surrender ceremony.

Bush: There will be no surrender ceremony.

Obama: To disrupt, dismantle, defeat al Qaeda.

Bush: To disrupt and destroy terrorists.

Stewart: I love it when he does all the Bush covers.


Joe Biden, Jimmy Fallon, Dick Cheney, Late Show with David Letterman, Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, Michelle Obama, George W. Bush, Barack Obama

Round and Round the Obvious: Republican Liars, CIA, the Speaker

From Denny: OK, this is rich and I just have to comment since I grew up in the CIA. What the Republicans are doing is unacceptable. What are they doing? Lying, lying and lying some more in the way of misdirection away from the guilty Party: them.

What I find almost as annoying are the media folks who can't seem to remember what they reported for eight years under the Bush administration. It's like they have a collective Who Me? amnesia.

Is the Speaker telling the truth? Yes. How do I know? I watched the news like everyone else during the Bush years and it was clear she and all other Democrats were pushed out of the small loop of information. Bush, Cheney, Rove, Rice and Gingrich were the main players, the true holders of power and dominance, policy and decision makers. When the CIA reported what they didn't want to hear, like the bald-faced truth, they demanded they rewrite their reports.

Remember the Valerie Plaume incident? They outted her (which is treason by the way even when they do it) because she came back with nuke info they didn't want to hear and she and her husband constantly contradicted Cheney and Bush's public lies with the evidence. By outting her they lost years of experience and destroyed a tough intelligence network to build.

Only fools would destroy an information-gathering network about the status of rogue nukes in the world and still believe they are patriots protecting the country. Protect us from people voting in these destructive fools who would not know a good decision if it jumped up in their faces and begged them to take it home and sleep with it for free.

How else do I know? I know the culture and the historical beginnings of the CIA. The CIA was originally created as "The President's Men" much like the Jesuits were created as "The Pope's Men." The CIA have always been the loyalists to whichever President is sitting in office, any party. They do what other agencies and public words cannot - whatever needs to be done, legal or illegal.

They basically can enable someone who is corrupted by absolute power and that's exactly what happened in the case of the Bush-Cheney years. After all, Bush and Cheney kept firing all the knowledgeable, competent and people of good character in the CIA, the Pentagon, and everywhere they had reach until they finally found enough weak and greedy people to carry out their bidding.

The short version is that Bush ordered them to lie and present false information. He ordered the CIA to withhold information from the Democratic members of Congress AND any moderate Republicans who just might share that info with Democrat friends across the aisle.

This fiasco belongs to the Republican Party and their minions (lobbyists) and enablers (voters). The press needs to grow a pair and quit forcing us to listen to the whiners who couldn't tell the truth if they tried. Maybe it's time to go to a one-party system as the Republicans have proven themselves useless to this country in our time of great need. They are too busy planning their next grab for power. The CIA has never truly been the issue today or in the past. They were just the reaction to the action set by Presidents.

Without the political party to direct and task them the CIA has no mission other than to gather information worldwide. What IS the issue are two events: the ruling political party who sets the policies and toxic politics into motion and the voters who enable that direction.



CIA Republicans Democrats Speaker Pelosi Gingrich politics Congress lobbyists voters Rove Bush Cheney information-gathering United States

Cheeky Quote Day! 24 June 2009

The new President Obama and First Lady Image via Wikipedia

From Denny: Considering how much political heat President Obama is taking from the Republicans, one after another taking potshots and getting shouted down from the public, they have to go hide from view for a while. It’s as if there is this batting line-up like during baseball season. This political season with the first black President ever in the Oval Office the Republican line-up is the following: Cheney, Gingrich, Bush, Limbaugh, and Graham. Every one of these guys wants to be President so badly they can taste it; they do not want to give up the power they used to possess.

During the presidential campaign the Republican smear machine was quite busy making up more lies than the National Inquirer: his daddy wasn't his real daddy, he wasn't black enough or white enough, he had the name of a terrorist, he was a practicing Muslim, that he wasn't as experienced as McCain on the economy (McCain publicly admitted he didn't know or care anything about the economy during his entire time in Washington) and much more.

Humorous political quotes from the presidential campaign trail often take on an eerie quality once one of the combatants gets elected. It’s no different with President Obama’s quotes when he was battling McCain. It is McCain who is still battling Obama trying to wrestle power away from him with some of the most ridiculous and reckless accusations. Let’s take a trip down memory lane of the 2008 campaign trail to see how Obama responded to the world of the Republican ridiculous. McCain didn’t say anything substantive then just like now. It appears that Obama still has his sense of humor...

President Obama Quotes from the 2008 Campaign Trail

"Now, because he knows that his economic theories don't work, he's been spending these last few days calling me every name in the book. Lately he's called me a socialist for wanting to roll-back the Bush tax cuts for the wealthiest Americans so we can finally give tax relief to the middle class. I don't know what's next. By the end of the week he'll be accusing me of being a secret communist because I shared my toys in kindergarten. I shared my peanut butter and jelly sandwich." – responding to John McCain's attacks, Raleigh, North Carolina, Oct. 29, 2008

On his image: "Who is Barack Obama? Contrary to the rumors you have heard, I was not born in a manger. I was actually born on Krypton and sent here by my father Jor-El to save the Planet Earth. Many of you know that I got my name, Barack, from my father. What you may not know is Barack is actually Swahili for 'That One.' And I got my middle name from somebody who obviously didn't think I'd ever run for president. If I had to name my greatest strength, I guess it would be my humility. Greatest weakness, it's possible that I'm a little too awesome." - @ the Al Smith Dinner

"Yesterday, John McCain actually said that if he's president that he'll take on, and I quote, 'the old boys network in Washington.' Now I'm not making this up. This is somebody who's been in Congress for twenty-six years, who put seven of the most powerful Washington lobbyists in charge of his campaign. And now he tells us that he's the one who's gonna' to take on the old boys network. The old boys network? In the McCain campaign that's called a staff meeting. Come, on!"

"Sen. McCain bragged about how as chairman of the Commerce Committee in the Senate, he had oversight of every part of the economy. Well, all I can say to Sen. McCain is, 'Nice job. Nice job.' Where is he getting these lines? The lobbyists running his campaign? ... I'm not making this up, you can't make this up. It's like a 'Saturday Night Live' routine."

"I mean, you know, as somebody who used to be on the cover of Time and Newsweek, you know. Those were the days." - musing with David Letterman about the Sarah Palin phenomenon.

"I've been called worse on the basketball court." - on attacks against him at the Republican Convention.

"That's what he talked about yesterday, 'I want to drill here. I want to drill now.' I don't know where he was standing. I think he was in a building somewhere." - on John McCain's energy plan.

"Now that's my phone buzzing there. I don't want you to think I'm getting fresh or anything." - posing for a picture with supporters in Indiana, when he apparently felt his phone start to vibrate in his pocket, against which one woman was closely pressed.

"They say I need to be seasoned; they say I need to be stewed. They say, 'We need to boil all the hope out of him -- like us -- and then he'll be ready.'" To watch the video, go here.

"But the truth is when you really get to know Rahm, he does have a softer side, Amy will attest to this; very few people know, I think, know prior to this evening that he studied Ballet for a few years. In fact, he was the first to adopt Machiavelli's the prince for dance. It was an intriguing piece, as you can imagine, there were a lot of kicks below the waist." -roasting his future chief of staff Rahm Emaneul in 2005. To watch the video, go here.

"Look, when I was a kid, I inhaled frequently. That was the point." To watch the video clip, go here.

"It is true, I worry about the hype. The only person more over-hyped than me is you." – to Jon Stewart.

"I don't want to be invited to the family hunting party." - on revelations that he and Dick Cheney are eighth cousins.

"Hillary is not the first politician in Washington to declare 'Mission Accomplished' a little too soon."

"I would have to...investigate more of Bill's dancing abilities, you know, and some of this other stuff before I accurately judge whether he was in fact a brother." - on whether Bill Clinton was "our first black president."

The following quotes are from Barack Obama's speech at the 2005 Gridiron dinner:

"It's like I was shot out of a cannon. I'm so overexposed that I make Paris Hilton look like a recluse."

On the controversial Ukraine election: "Well, President Bush said he wanted to export American-style democracy and, by God, I think its working."

"(The pundits) said you can't win in a year like this with a name like Obama. There was quite a bit of confusion at first, but it did get me free airtime on Al Jazeera."

"It's been a great ride. But I know how quickly these fads can pass. You all remember the pet rock, the mood ring, Howard Dean."

"I figure there's nowhere to go from here but down. So tonight, I'm announcing my retirement from the United States Senate."

Obama also held up a mock-up of a supermarket tabloid proclaiming, "Obama's Shocking Secret: He's Strom Thurmond's Love Child."

On excitement in his father's native Kenya that his election would mean the building of billions of dollars in new roads, bridges, hospitals, and schools in their country: "I've tried to explain how it works these days. First comes the invasion and then billions in aid."

Cheeky Quote Day! 10 June 2009

Photo from typography friendfeed group

Elvis Presley in 1956 on Milton Berle show singing Hound Dog.

From Denny: What is an anagram? Bet you haven't thought about this idea in some time. Well, some people play with their food; writers play with their words! Rearrange words to create another word or phrase, often with hilarious results. You can only use the letters available and only once to produce your fun. The object is to produce another word or phrase that comments upon the original word or phrase used. Now that takes skill!

It can be a synonym, antonym, parody, criticism or praise of the subject used. Here are a couple of funny examples: George Bush = He bugs Gore, Madonna Louise Ciccone = Occasional nude income, and the most famous writer for 400 years now, William Shakespeare = I am a weakish speller.

Today it isn’t quite the brain teaser task it once was. Today we have the internet with fun sites like Wordsmith and Anagram Genius to provide us with the resources of anagram generators.

Anagrams have quite a history as they were popular in the Middle Ages in Europe as well as Greece all the way back to 300 BCE.

I threw the phrase “economic depression” into wordsmith’s generator and up popped all kinds of crazy combinations. The one I liked best was “comedic opines snore.”

From the folks over at wordsmith.org are a few examples of funny anagrams from their Anagram Hall of Fame.

Elvis = Lives

Listen = Silent

Internet Anagram Server = Isn't rearrangement rave?

Dormitory = Dirty Room

Dictionary = Indicatory



Schoolmaster = The classroom

Clint Eastwood = Old West Action

Madam Curie = Radium came

A telephone girl = Repeating "Hello"

Western Union = No Wire Unsent



The country side = No City Dust Here

Evangelist = Evil's Agent

Astronomers = Moon starers / No more stars

Postmaster = Stamp Store

A telescope = To see place



The eyes = They see

The cockroach = Cook, catch her

The Morse Code = Here Come Dots

The Meaning of Life = The fine game of nil

Waitress = A stew, Sir?

Conversation = Voices Rant On



Mr. Mojo risin' = Jim Morrison
(from the Doors song, "L.A. Woman")

The Great New York Rapid Transit Tunnel = Giant work in street, partly underneath

Mother-in-law = Woman Hitler



Funeral = Real Fun

Protectionism = Nice to imports

A domesticated animal = Docile, as a man Tamed it

Butterfly = Flutter-by

Heavy Rain? = Hire a Navy!



The Check is in the Mail = Claim "Heck, I sent it (heh)"

The United States Bureau of Fisheries = I Raise the Bass to Feed Us in the Future

Snooze Alarms = Alas! No More Z's

A Decimal Point = I'm a Dot in Place

The Earthquakes = That Queer Shake

Statue of Liberty = Built to Stay Free



And the best for last, a Biblical quote:
'And God said, Let there be light: and there was light.' = The Word engendered Light as a blast. A delight hit.



Now I double dare you to create a poem out of anagrams! Yikes! That might take me a few months to construct... if ever... BTW, that's a portrait of "me" sleeping on the family dog who's a generous soul...;)

Cheeky Quote Day! 3 June 2009

From Denny: Can you believe it’s already June? How time flies by faster than a political campaign!

About.com and their political humor section have compiled quite a number of funnies from the past couple of years’ political seasons. Some of them were mildly funny but sad too, both Republican and Democrat, so I did not include them. Those speak more to family issues like for the Craig, Palin, Edwards families. There were other quotes just honestly misspoken because of campaign fatigue.

I was looking for more of the outlandish because of word choice and ridiculous because of the mental process of coming to that decision, daring to actually speak it out loud. If you want to know more just go to their page and you can view the sources of where they pulled all these quotes, some are videos. Enjoy the read - and amusing trip down memory lane!

Quotes compiled by Daniel Kurtzman @ About.com:

"If he's the answer, then the question must be ridiculous." - New York Gov. David Patterson, on John McCain at his speech at the Democratic National Convention 2008

"At a time of great crisis with mortgage foreclosures and autos, he says we only have one president at a time. I'm afraid that overstates the number of presidents we have. He's got to remedy that situation." - Rep. Barney Frank (D-MA), calling on President-elect Obama to play a more significant role on economic issues

"If we were a dog food, they would take us off the shelf." - Rep. Thomas M. Davis III (R-Va.), in a memo to colleagues about the problem with the Republican brand

"Now he tells us that he's the one who's gonna take on the old boys network. The old boys network? In the McCain campaign that's called a staff meeting. Come on!" - Barack Obama, about John McCain

"I've been sleeping like a baby. Sleep two hours, wake up and cry, sleep two hours, wake up and cry.'' - John McCain, talking to Jay Leno about his election loss

"I'll be long gone before some smart person ever figures out what happened inside this Oval Office." — President George W. Bush, in an interview with the Jerusalem Post, Washington, D.C., May 12, 2008

5 Presidents Image by BL1961 via Flickr

"When I was in college, we used to take a popcorn popper, because that was the only thing they would let us use in the dorm, and we would fry squirrels in a popcorn popper in the dorm room." — Republican candidate Mick Huckabee, interview on MSNBC's "Morning Joe," Jan. 16, 2008

"So?" — Vice President Dick Cheney, responding to an ABC News correspondent who cited a poll showing that most Americans do not believe the Iraq War was worth fighting, March 19, 2008

"So what?" – President Bush, responding to a an ABC News correspondent who pointed out that Al Qaeda wasn't a threat in Iraq until after the U.S. invaded, Dec. 14, 2008

"Goodbye from the world's biggest polluter." – President George W. Bush, in parting words to British Prime Minister Gordon Brown and French President Nicolas Sarkozy at his final G-8 Summit, punching the air and grinning widely as the two leaders looked on in shock, Rusutsu, Japan, July 10, 2008

"I don't want to be invited to the family hunting party." - Barack Obama, on revelations that he and Dick Cheney are eighth cousins (2007)

"Thanks for the question, you little jerk." - John McCain, after being asked by a high school student if he was too old to be president. For good measure, McCain then threatened to draft him. (2007)

"You can always tell when the Republicans are getting restless, because the Vice President's motorcade pulls into the Capitol, and Darth Vader emerges." – Hillary Clinton about VP Cheney in 2007

"I've been asked if that nickname bothers me, and the answer is, no. After all, Darth Vader is one of the nicer things I've been called recently." - Dick Cheney (2007 – this guy thrives on negative attention)

"This morning I was with the vice president. I was asking him what costume he was planning. And he said 'I'm already wearing it.' Then he mumbled something about 'the dark side of the Force." – George W. Bush, on Halloween 2007

"A year ago, my approval rating was in the 30s, my nominee for the Supreme Court had just withdrawn, and my Vice President had shot someone. Ahhh, those were the good old days." – George W. Bush, at the 2007 Radio-TV Correspondents' dinner

"You helped our nation celebrate its bicentennial in 17 -- 1976." - to Queen Elizabeth, Washington, D.C., May 7, 2007

When Bush was first in office this is just one of the many outrageous things he said:

"Do you have blacks, too?" - to Brazilian President Fernando Cardoso, Washington, D.C., Nov. 8, 2001


Photo by I'm Fantastic @ flickr

This Week: Roundup of Sunday Funnies - Fired Astronaut, Poetry Torture

From Denny: Here's the short roundup of the late night show quips for this week!

As toxically expected the Bush League has been in full tilt operation this week trying to bury Nancy Pelosi with the usual idiot nonsense. She's so angry she can't see straight.

It will be interesting to see how long it takes before she does a 180 degree turn and starts prosecuting the Bush crowd for their high crimes and misdemeanors. Maybe this is what it will take to light a fire under her and other Dems to start taking out the trash in politics.

Trying to distract the public by discrediting and trashing Pelosi and other Dems still won't wash the stench off the Republican Party for the past eight years. Own it.

As Keith Obermann said so eloquently, "At the rate the Republican Party is going, especially with Cheney so foolishly outspoken, they are quickly going the way of the Whig Party. Who's the Whig Party? My point, exactly!"

***

Late Night With Jimmy Fallon

Jimmy Fallon: House speaker Nancy Pelosi says that the CIA lied to her in 2003. Yeah, apparently, they sent her a document saying that her makeup looked subtle.

Jimmy Kimmel Live

Kimmel: Even NASA is feeling the effects of the economy all the way in space. It looks good. (Fake footage of guy handing out pink slip in space.) "You're fired!" (Astronaut:) "Oh terrific."

The Tonight Show

Jay Leno: President Obama and first lady Michelle Obama hosted a night of poetry and music featuring musicians, authors and poets. To which President Bush said, "Now, that's torture."

Late Show

David Letterman: Did you see this? While his holiness is away on his trip to the Middle East, rest assured the Vatican is in good hands. Pope Benedict has hired an experienced vice pope. (Photo of Cheney at Vatican with lower third that reads, "Let's waterboard some heretics.") Vice Pope Cheney let's waterboard some heretics.

Photo by I'm Fantastic @ flickr

Cheeky Quote Day! 29 April 2009

Photo by I'm Fantastic @ flickr

From Denny: The Wednesdays just keep rolling on! Take a little time out from your work week, deep breath, chuckle a little or laugh a lot, so you can get through the rest of the week - until Libations Friday! - why, of course! :)

The Simpsons (via last.fm)

Humor Blog: Ouch Outrageous Obnoxious And Odd

Make sure you also pay a visit to my humor blog that is taking off unexpectedly well (shameless plug): Ouch Outrageous Obnoxious And Odd. Lots of cartoons, jokes, photos, videos (like the Simpsons and Saturday Nite Live's BitchPleez blogger).

Image by MyFreeStock via Flickr

Cheeky Quotes from the UK

On to the Cheeky Quotes and who better than the British themselves who coined the phrase in the first place!

From our friends “across the Pond” comes an engaging fun site called The Institution of Silly & Meaningless Sayings. I enjoyed them so much I placed a link to their site on The Social Poets any time you wish to visit. You are also invited to submit fodder for them as they willingly read their email from fans! While many sayings in their database are tied closely to British-only culture there are a number that translate easily for the American mindset.

Humor Creates Easy Learning, Enables Better Writing

This is also a fun way they devised to better learn how to use – or not use - your own language when writing. Many a TV or movie character has been based off these kinds of language mistakes/offenses and become quite popular with the public. We have even had a precious (oops! meant previous) American President who demonstrated some peculiar word choices. :)

The following goodies are from their database:

Malapropism - an act or habit of misusing words ridiculously, especially by the confusion of words that are similar in sound. ("Ism" is short for a lot of words like Malapropism.)

ism #886: I think familiarity is beginning to breed content. (contempt)

ism #891: He was from the Noise Debating Society!

ism #899: He was like a bullet in a china shop. (bull)

ism #902: You just take me for credit! (granted)

ism #905: She crashed her car on the bridge; she's a very erotic driver. (erratic)

ism #912: I'm sorry he's not here; he's in the other orifice. (office)

ism #917: It's slander, it's definition of character. (defamation)

ism #921: It's alright for you men, it's us girls who put up with all this pre-mental suspension. (PMS: premenstrual)

ism #928: I'm going on another shore excretion. (excursion)

ism #930: He sat at the bar and drank himself into Bolivia. (oblivion - but hey! Bolivia works too, kinda)

***

Image via Wikipedia

Another of their categories: Dodgy Foreign - incorrect use of foreign phrases in every day language in order to give the impression of being very cosmopolitan.

ism #733: The French don't even have a word for entrepreneur.

source: George Bush (from Kristins Amadeus and others)

ism #758: Accidents aren't my faux pas.

source: Car dealer, as part of safety talk

***

Image by SarahWynne via Flickr

A few of their cheeky tips for writers which will give your brain a chance to pause and appreciate:

Prepositions are not the words to end sentences with.

And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.

Avoid clichés like the plague. (They're old hat!)

Be more or less specific in your discussion.

Don't use no double negatives.

Any certainly don't never use no triple negatives.

Eliminate ampersands & abbreviations, etc.

One-word sentences? Never!

Understatement is absolutely the best way to put forward earth shattering ideas.

Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.

Who needs rhetorical questions?

***



Word cloud of Obama speech photo by shashiBellamkonda @ flickr

Of course, my all time favorites are newspaper headlines that often leave me tilting my head and saying, "What The Flock?" Here are the Brit versions. Looks like their news folks are equally lame.

March planned for next August

Include your children when baking cakes

Prostitutes to hold open day

Bulge in trousers was ecstasy

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers!

Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over

Miners Refuse to Work after Death

War Dims Hope for Peace

If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last A While

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges

Crack Found on Governor's Daughter

Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half

Hospital is Sued by Seven Foot Doctors

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

***



Photo of volcano Mount Saint Helens, Washington state, 1980 eruption.

Just for fun, why not leave your own funny versions of the headlines in the comment section? Have some fun, exercise your brain, make like a volcano, blow off and delete some work week stress!

People: Bush's Bailout Law Word Cloud

Bailout Law Word Cloud (HR 1424 EAS)
Originally uploaded by Ricardo Carreon

From Denny: Isn't this something?

"This is the Word Cloud of the Bailout law that US President George W. Bush signed. October 2008 (HR 1424 EAS)"

From This Week: Roundup of Sunday Funnies

Funnies: Toxic Assets and Other Wall St. Treats

Late Night

Fallon: Michelle Obama's planting a vegetable garden on the White House lawn. You know the economy is bad when the Obamas are afraid of running out of food.


The Tonight Show

Leno: President Obama met with the CEOs of all the major U.S. banks. A lot of these big-bonus guys. The CEOs looked around the White House and said, "You live in this dump?"


Real Time

Maher: Treasury Secretary Tim Geither, a.k.a "Little Tim" … he broke out his big plan this week to buy up all those toxic assets that the banks are holding … and if you don't know what a toxic asset is, it's a piece of paper that's worthless now, but could be worth something some day ... the same way Confederate money could be.


Late Night

Fallon: Former Treasury Secretary Henry Paulson is writing a book about his role in the Bush administration during the economic crisis. It's weird. The book starts on chapter 11.


The Tonight Show

Leno: Very -- very strange incident at JFK airport in New York City today. An AIG executive going through security had to empty out all his pockets. You know what fell out? Senator Chris Dodd. Yeah.