Cheeky Quote Day! 29 April 2009

Photo by I'm Fantastic @ flickr

From Denny: The Wednesdays just keep rolling on! Take a little time out from your work week, deep breath, chuckle a little or laugh a lot, so you can get through the rest of the week - until Libations Friday! - why, of course! :)

The Simpsons (via last.fm)

Humor Blog: Ouch Outrageous Obnoxious And Odd

Make sure you also pay a visit to my humor blog that is taking off unexpectedly well (shameless plug): Ouch Outrageous Obnoxious And Odd. Lots of cartoons, jokes, photos, videos (like the Simpsons and Saturday Nite Live's BitchPleez blogger).

Image by MyFreeStock via Flickr

Cheeky Quotes from the UK

On to the Cheeky Quotes and who better than the British themselves who coined the phrase in the first place!

From our friends “across the Pond” comes an engaging fun site called The Institution of Silly & Meaningless Sayings. I enjoyed them so much I placed a link to their site on The Social Poets any time you wish to visit. You are also invited to submit fodder for them as they willingly read their email from fans! While many sayings in their database are tied closely to British-only culture there are a number that translate easily for the American mindset.

Humor Creates Easy Learning, Enables Better Writing

This is also a fun way they devised to better learn how to use – or not use - your own language when writing. Many a TV or movie character has been based off these kinds of language mistakes/offenses and become quite popular with the public. We have even had a precious (oops! meant previous) American President who demonstrated some peculiar word choices. :)

The following goodies are from their database:

Malapropism - an act or habit of misusing words ridiculously, especially by the confusion of words that are similar in sound. ("Ism" is short for a lot of words like Malapropism.)

ism #886: I think familiarity is beginning to breed content. (contempt)

ism #891: He was from the Noise Debating Society!

ism #899: He was like a bullet in a china shop. (bull)

ism #902: You just take me for credit! (granted)

ism #905: She crashed her car on the bridge; she's a very erotic driver. (erratic)

ism #912: I'm sorry he's not here; he's in the other orifice. (office)

ism #917: It's slander, it's definition of character. (defamation)

ism #921: It's alright for you men, it's us girls who put up with all this pre-mental suspension. (PMS: premenstrual)

ism #928: I'm going on another shore excretion. (excursion)

ism #930: He sat at the bar and drank himself into Bolivia. (oblivion - but hey! Bolivia works too, kinda)

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Image via Wikipedia

Another of their categories: Dodgy Foreign - incorrect use of foreign phrases in every day language in order to give the impression of being very cosmopolitan.

ism #733: The French don't even have a word for entrepreneur.

source: George Bush (from Kristins Amadeus and others)

ism #758: Accidents aren't my faux pas.

source: Car dealer, as part of safety talk

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Image by SarahWynne via Flickr

A few of their cheeky tips for writers which will give your brain a chance to pause and appreciate:

Prepositions are not the words to end sentences with.

And don't start a sentence with a conjunction.

Avoid clichés like the plague. (They're old hat!)

Be more or less specific in your discussion.

Don't use no double negatives.

Any certainly don't never use no triple negatives.

Eliminate ampersands & abbreviations, etc.

One-word sentences? Never!

Understatement is absolutely the best way to put forward earth shattering ideas.

Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.

Who needs rhetorical questions?

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Word cloud of Obama speech photo by shashiBellamkonda @ flickr

Of course, my all time favorites are newspaper headlines that often leave me tilting my head and saying, "What The Flock?" Here are the Brit versions. Looks like their news folks are equally lame.

March planned for next August

Include your children when baking cakes

Prostitutes to hold open day

Bulge in trousers was ecstasy

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers!

Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over

Miners Refuse to Work after Death

War Dims Hope for Peace

If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last A While

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges

Crack Found on Governor's Daughter

Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half

Hospital is Sued by Seven Foot Doctors

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

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Photo of volcano Mount Saint Helens, Washington state, 1980 eruption.

Just for fun, why not leave your own funny versions of the headlines in the comment section? Have some fun, exercise your brain, make like a volcano, blow off and delete some work week stress!