Photo from instantshift.com - tax dollars at work - or Denny mining Twitter for funny quotes...
From Denny: Since I’m a lemons to lemonade kind of person I thought it was only fitting to put up cheeky quotes I’ve found on Twitter. After all, what got me into this mess of starting over again on Twitter with a new account (DennyLyon7) was putting a badge of support onto my Twitter avatar. It looks like slices of lemon and is meant to support kids with cancer.
Well, it messed up my account (warriorlight) to the point I couldn’t login to tweet, yet could get in to harvest my followers. Go figure. Twitter really ought to tell you these things instead of leaving you out in the cold.
Anyway, jumped through hoops for three months just trying to get Twitter Support’s attention to no avail, so started up a new account. There went the Twitter ranking from 11,000 down down down… Well, at least out of 4.5 million I got to start out at 478,000. After some hard work to reestablish myself I’m at least up to 150,000 in less than a week. Still, a far cry from where I was.
What’s interesting is how much manual work you have to do click by tedious click. What’s more interesting is what you glean from the experience, learning about Twitter in general and the global attitude on the web. I spent a lot of time blocking sex trade folks, SEO and marketing scammers, real estate agents, ghost accounts with photos to look like somebody's home and with thousands of followers but no message stream, robot accounts without followers or photos or message streams, self-absorbed arrogant writers, phony Christians trying to make a buck at our expense and medical scammers.
Note to newbies on Twitter: Don't waste your time following any of the above listed categories because the scam is they drop you within 7 days to one month, leaving you as one of their followers but you lose followers. Then you have to go through the tedious task of weeding out those manipulators of the system. I used to be accepting of everyone and skip over the judgmental attitude but, unfortunately, there are those who just have to take advantage, forcing you to deal with them.
There is a lot of perversion and greed loose in the world right now, whew! You have to wade through a lot of muck to get to the wonderful people. What also happens is that if you don’t filter out the negatives you get slammed with thousands more and the good people stay away.
As I found myself coming up for air 10 hours later yesterday the better people started showing up on the followers list. And on that list were some quote gems. On the list of the SEO and marketing scammers were some hilarious quotes too, though I doubt they actually meant them to be funny. I harvested some of those cute quotes anyway. Punctuation was precarious too. Like anyone would trust them with their hard-earned money for making good decisions when they can’t spell or put a coherent sentence together. Enjoy!
Photo from instantshift.com - I just love these Photoshop illusions! - and using Twitter quotes to paint the blogosphere is kind of surreal...
Funny Twitter Quotes
It is never too late to be what you might have been! ~ George Eliot
Positive anything is better than negative nothing. ~ Elbert Hubbard
(Do ya think this might have been meant as a math or physics quote…?)
If you mess up, 'fess up. ~ Anonymous
Mother is far too clever to understand anything she does not like. ~ Arnold Bennett
Everyone has a photographic memory, but not everyone has film. ~ Anonymous
Dare to be naive. ~ Buckminster Fuller
Make no mistake about why these babies are here - they are here to replace us. – Jerry Seinfeld
You were born an original. Don't die a copy. ~ John Mason
Thought is action in rehearsal. ~ igmund Freud (what they meant was Sigmund Freud)
Never invest in a business you cannot understand. - Warren Buffett
No bees, no honey; no work, no money. ~ Proverb
Only when the last river poisoned and the last fish caught will we realize we cannot eat money. ~ Cree Indian Proverb
If UR unhappy w/ anything, get rid of it. U'll find U're free, Ur tru creativity an self comes out. ~ T. Turner
(I guess those 140 Twitter characters was stifling.)
Only Robinson Crusoe had everything done by Friday. ~ Anonymous
There are two ways to pass a hurdle: leaping over or plowing through... There needs to be a monster truck option. - Jeph Jacques
People often say that motivation doesn't last. Well, neither does bathing - that's why we recommend it daily. - Zig Ziglar
Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other. - Erma Bombeck
I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house. - Zsa Zsa Gabor
The most important thing in communication is to hear what isn't being said. ~ Peter F. Drucker
(Do you get this image of someone not listening but acting like they are?)
Remember that not getting what you want is sometimes a wonderful stroke of luck. ~ Dalai Lama
(I just love this man’s sense of humor.)
Whatever you are, be a good one. ~ Abraham Lincoln
Life is the art of drawing without an eraser. ~ John W. Gardner
There's a fine line between clever and stupid. ~ David St. Hubbins
I looked up my family tree and found out I was the sap. ~ Rodney Dangerfield
Act your wage! ~ Dave Ramsay
You cannot tailor-make the situations in life but you can tailor-make the attitudes to fit those situations. - Zig Ziglar (From my main man Zig - nothing could be truer!)
Now that you've had a few chuckles mid-week, keep laughing the rest of your work week!