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Showing posts with label advice quotes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label advice quotes. Show all posts

20 January 2010

Inspiring Quotes About Disaster - Cheeky Quote Day 20 Jan 2010

*** Is it possible to be inspired from so much devastation and suffering? You would be surprised at how much goodness and thoughtfulness exists in humanity in the toughest of times.




From Denny: I've been writing so much about the Haiti earthquake disaster for my hard news blog, Dennys Global Politics, that I'm emotionally saturated. Of course, while preparing for today's weekly cheeky quotes post the first thing my mind turned to wondering was whether there were any quotes about disaster. Besides, with the somber mood of everyone watching the news these days for a blow by blow agonizing account of what the folks in Haiti are struggling to live through, I wondered if it was possible to find anything that was remotely humorous about the concept of disaster.

As I started combing my way through disaster quotes I was struck by how superficial our American culture can be at times, too much self-absorption, exaggerating personal issues as if they actually qualified as a disaster. When times are normal and life is easy it's funny to be cheeky about our circumstances. Somehow, right now with the Haiti situation still unfolding...

There are a few quotes that are amusing. Others I found were in reference to the 2005 Hurricane Katrina, still so fresh here in south Louisiana where I live, that echo the same frustration with relief efforts as is heard about the Haiti disaster today. Governments still don't have their act together in a timely fashion.





Excepting Israel, last night's news reported that Israel arrived with a complete mobile hospital, electronic records ability, personnel, supplies for them and the patients. These folks have all the IT equipment they need to send out X-rays of patients and talk to specialty doctors thousands of miles away to consult. Pretty cool. It's also what Americans expected how we would come into Haiti. The military machinery is good for establishing order and security but they were missing the medical component on the Israeli level who far out-shined us.

What America has done right is to staff and organize the Haiti airport. Why was that so important and such a big deal? It's a small airport and before the earthquake only managed about three flights a day. Once the American military came in they got it up to 60 flights a day and now up to 100 flights a day. The need is to get it up to 180 flights a day as that is what is truly needed. It does make you feel good to know that the whole world is flying in to help on this massive a scale. There still is so much good in the world.





Researching these quotes also made an impression on me about how people have been making the same commments about the concept of disaster for generations in regard to war situations. What really surprised me, pleasantly, are the many inspiring quotes found that teach us how to wrap our brains around difficult times and grow from it.

Of course, my take on it too is that human nature is both terribly stubborn and often emotionally lazy. We require extreme situations like disaster to get us to change on a fundamental level as that is all that can motivate us. In this Haiti situation, the people of Haiti are tested to change but so is the world around them, every person watching the news. We all have come to the realization that our world can change in a flicker of a moment. How will we choose to react when we no longer have the familiar to run to for security?





Meanwhile, for those who are wondering, an update on my female cousin trapped in Haiti. While we still have not received word of her survival, we have heard from a number of Haitian friends and other Americans who know her that she is fine because they all have seen her in person or talked to her on the phone. She was in Jacmel and has been reported at the College St. Pierre music school area.

She's a classical trumpet player and music teacher who donates her time in Haiti several times a year. The word is she gave away all her medicine to help which is typical of her "what's mine is yours." She also was to have said she "wants to remain in Haiti in their time of need to do what she can for them." Also typical of her. So, time will tell. As the country gets dug out and communication begins to improve beyond hearsay and spotty phone lines available, we will all keep praying strength into the survivors as they journey through their ordeal.

When tough times strike it's good to have a small time to laugh, and, hopefully, to get inspired. Inspiration lifts up your spirits making you stronger to walk through the situation until it is resolved. That's why I leave so much humor on my blogs, knowing thousands of people are stressed from their jobs and life situations. A little quirky intelligent humor entertains the mind, pulling it away from the emotional stress, giving temporary relief. It's like a soothing mind bath, soaking away all the worries so you can catch your balance once again.

The quotes are arranged in a way to take you through the roller coaster of emotions we feel about the idea of a disaster, be it a personal failing of which we joke or something very serious like a natural disaster of epic proportions. Then there are the deep thinkers who wrestle with how to grow and benefit from the worst of times in our lives, inspiring us.

Take a look at what I found:



Photo of Greece, a country no stranger to earthquakes

Quotes

First the amusing; Oscar Wilde is always good for a grin:

* The play was a great success, but the audience was a disaster. - Oscar Wilde

* I attended a very small junior high and specially in the end that became a disaster. The principal was pretty senile and a drunk, so the children more or less ruined the school. - Jonathan Brandis

* I don't admire Freud as much as some people do. Imagine Shakespeare being aware of the Oedipal complex when he wrote Hamlet. It would have been a disaster. - Nathalie Sarraute

* If you put yourself in a group of people you cannot work with it's obviously going to be a disaster. - David Cronenberg

* It is always one's virtues and not one's vices that precipitate one into disaster. - Rebecca West

* There are two sighs of relief every night in the life of an opera manager. The first comes when the curtain goes up. The second sigh of relief comes when the final curtain goes down without any disaster, and one realizes, gratefully, that the miracle has happened again. - Rudolf Bing

* Society is not a disease, it is a disaster. What a stupid miracle that one can live in it. - Emile M. Cioran

* Sometimes it takes a natural disaster to reveal a social disaster. - Jim Wallis

* The pursuit of approval usually ends in disaster. - Chris Morris

* Every decision is liberating, even if it leads to disaster. Otherwise, why do so many people walk upright and with open eyes into their misfortune? - Elias Canetti

* France, and the whole of Europe have a great culture and an amazing history. Most important thing though is that people there know how to live! In America they've forgotten all about it. I'm afraid that the American culture is a disaster. - Johnny Depp

* Those who mistake their good luck for their merit are inevitably bound for disaster. - J. Christopher Herold

* We have also arranged things so that almost no one understands science and technology. This is a prescription for disaster. We might get away with it for a while, but sooner or later this combustible mixture of ignorance and power is going to blow up in our faces. - Carl Sagan

* We not only romanticize the future; we have also made it into a growth industry, a parlor game and a disaster movie all at the same time. - Eugene Kennedy

* I think the inherent right of the Government is to lie to save itself when facing a nuclear disaster is basic. - Arthur Sylvester

* If a poem is each time new, then it is necessarily an act of discovery, a chance taken, a chance that may lead to fulfillment or disaster. - A. R. Ammons

* If a sufficient number of management layers are superimposed on top of each other, it can be assured that disaster is not left to chance. - Norman Ralph Augustine

* The bosses of our mass media, press, radio, film and television, succeed in their aim of taking our minds off disaster. Thus, the distraction they offer demands the antidote of maximum concentration on disaster. - Ernst Fischer

* One person cooking at home cannot pay attention to too many things. If a woman makes three dishes, she will get nervous on the first, the second will suffer and the third will be a disaster. - Rene Veaux



Photo by subflux @ flickr

Now the serious quotes that deal with the anger and frustration we all feel after a disaster of epic proportions has struck be it a war or an earthquake:

* A great power has to have the discipline not only to go when necessary but to know when not to go. Getting involved in ethnic, religious civil wars is a recipe for disaster. - John Kasich

* Americans rightly asked, if this is the way our government responds to a natural disaster it knew about days in advance, how would it respond to a surprise terrorist attack? How would it respond to an earthquake? - Russ Carnahan

* Every attempt to make war easy and safe will result in humiliation and disaster. - William Tecumseh Sherman (American Civil War in 1860’s)

* First, those images help us understand the general and specific magnitude of disaster caused by the tsunami. The huge outpouring of aid would not have happened without those images. - Bruce Jackson

* Get off you’re a$$ and get down here to fix the g. d. biggest disaster in the nation's history. - Ray Nagin, Mayor of New Orleans, whose calls for help were ignored by the White House, President George Bush, for the first 3 days and longer after Hurricane Katrina hit in August 2005, flooding the city, stranding residents who died from lack of rescue, food and water that could have easily been provided by the federal government in a timely fashion.

The military blocked the interstates so those of us who wanted to drive into New Orleans and get them were turned back. Then the FEMA head, Brownie, overruled the Governor of Louisiana when she tried to send in buses to gather up the stranded at the Superdome.

You know why she was denied from helping her own people? Brownie declared those buses were not air-conditioned and, therefore, could not be used. He hung up his cell phone and ordered off the high-priced restaurant menu to settle in for an expensive meal on the taxpayers' dime. All the while people were dying in New Orleans. Unbelievable arrogance and insensitivity while the whole world watched. Hopefully, America has learned from that disaster to help those to come.

* My heart goes out to victims and survivors of the Hurricane Katrina tragedy and to their families. This disaster will go down in history books as one of the largest natural disasters in U.S. history. - Ellen Tauscher

* Never in our country's history have we witnessed a natural disaster that has impacted so many people in such a wide area. In fact, as of the writing of this column, millions of people along the Gulf Coast have been displaced from their homes in a period of only five days. - Jo Bonner

* This is a Disaster. This isn't something somebody can control. We ain't stuck on stupid. - General Russel Honore, commenting at Bush’s terrible handling of relief effort to New Orleans after Hurricane Katrina hit.

* The one thing that I have been struck with, after coming here to Congress is, how many people in Washington, D.C. talk about job loss like they are talking about the weather, or a natural disaster like an earthquake. - Stephen F. Lynch

* If you have a major disaster involving hundreds of thousands, or in this case millions of people, whether it be a natural disaster or an act of terrorism, the first 72 hours are going to be totally chaotic no matter what you plan to do. - Warren Rudman

* In the past, people worked together only when some great disaster threatened. - Walter Ulbricht

* It is imperative that when thousands of selfless volunteers respond to those who have incurred the wrath of a natural disaster that legal liability need not be hanging over their heads. - Jon Porter

* I can only hope the federal aid made available today will be sufficient in our recovery efforts, and pray that our citizens continue to be safe from the fallout of this dangerous natural disaster. - Mike Rogers

* Only disaster can follow divided counsels and opposing wills. - Thomas John Barnardo

* Pride and excess bring disaster for man. - Xun Zi



These are the delightful quote gems I found that inspire us to think differently and do differently:

* I always tried to turn every disaster into an opportunity. - John D. Rockefeller

* I am above the weakness of seeking to establish a sequence of cause and effect, between the disaster and the atrocity. - Edgar Allan Poe

* Today, as never before, the fates of men are so intimately linked to one another that a disaster for one is a disaster for everybody. - Natalia Ginzburg

* I beg you take courage; the brave soul can mend even disaster. - Queen Catherine II

* I didn't lead a very wise life, myself, but it was a full one and a grown-up one. You come of age very quickly through shipwreck and disaster. - Philip Dunne

* If I could learn to treat triumph and disaster the same, then I would find bliss. - Kathie Lee Gifford

* The art of losing isn't hard to master; so many things seem filled with the intent to be lost that their loss is no disaster. - Elizabeth Bishop

* I believe that if you think about disaster, you will get it. Brood about death and you hasten your demise. Think positively and masterfully with confidence and faith, and life becomes more secure, more fraught with action, richer in achievement and experience. - Eddie Rickenbacker

* To achieve anything, you must be prepared to dabble on the boundary of disaster. - Stirling Moss

* Trust your hunches. ... Hunches are usually based on facts filed away just below the conscious level. Warning! Do not confuse your hunches with wishful thinking. This is the road to disaster. - Dr. Joyce Brothers

* Trusting our intuition often saves us from disaster. - Anne Wilson Schaef



Photo by romarosa @ PhotoBucket

* If I'm interrupted, it's just a minor inconvenience, but not a disaster, because it's easy to get back where I was: that is, the paint has not changed consistency; the light has not moved. - Buffy Sainte-Marie

* There is humor in the specter of the worst disaster in our nation's history. All I have to do is sweep away the debris of shock to find it. - Will Durst

* Know your enemy and know yourself and you can fight a hundred battles without disaster. - Sun Tzu

* Knowledge is going to make you stronger. Knowledge is going to let you control your life. Knowledge is going to give you the wisdom to teach their children. Knowledge is the thing that makes you smile in the face of disaster. - Avery Brooks

* Much as we may wish to make a new beginning, some part of us resists doing so as though we were making the first step toward disaster. - William Throsby Bridges

* My mother was a phoenix who always expected to rise from the ashes of her latest disaster. She loved being Judy Garland. - Lorna Luft

* Claim wealth and titles, and disaster will follow. Retire when the work is done. This is the way of heaven. - Tao Te Ching

* There is such a thing as tempting the gods. Talking too much, too soon and with too much self-satisfaction has always seemed to me a sure way to court disaster. The forces of retribution are always listening. They never sleep. - Meg Greenfield

* The most dire disaster in love is the death of imagination. - George Meredith

* The formula for achieving a successful relationship is simple: you should treat all disasters as if they were trivialities but never treat a triviality as if it were a disaster. -
Quentin Crisp

And, for the People of Haiti:

* Noble souls, through dust and heat, rise from disaster and defeat the stronger. - Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

* Many a happiness in life, as many a disaster, can be due to chance, but the peace within us can never be governed by chance. - Maurice Maeterlinck

And a wonderful poem from Rudyard Kipling:

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too;
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give away to hating
And yet don't look too good nor talk too wise;
If you can dream - and not make dreams your master;
If you can think - and not make thoughts your aim,
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster,
And treat those two imposters just the same,
If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss . . .
If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much;
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And - which is more - you'll be a Man my son!



*** ALSO at Dennys Global Politics is something life affirming -
2 Inspiring Haiti Stories: Woman Pulled From Wreckage, New Baby Born on USS Carl Vinson


*** ALSO at Dennys Funny Quotes the latest political cartoons on one weird election -
Its Official: Folks Bring Back Thiefing Republicans, Hand Senate Seat to Them


*** THANKS for visiting, come back often, a big shout out to current subscribers - and if you are new to this blog, please subscribe in a reader or by email!

06 January 2010

10 Top Quotes of 2009 - Cheeky Quote Day! 6 Jan 2010

Political Cats!From Denny: Some of the cheekiest - most irreverent or most odd - quotes were uttered in the year of 2009 in America. There are times when I wonder if there are regions of the country with lead in the water, sounding as bizarre as ancient Rome did right before they destroyed their empire. The ancient Romans poisoned themselves with lead in their wine, unknowingly, that also sterilized them, dropping the population of the ruling aristocracy. Their increasing bizarre behavior is well documented historically and, of course, Hollywood celebrated it with many a movie. After all, villains are great story grist! :)

I knew there was a verbal bridge somewhere in here... more like a teetering wood suspension bridge in the Amazon... 2009 has been a very bizarre year for quotes from politicians in particular and a few celebrities too. Notice that Tiger Woods is noticeably silent. Maybe he's saving his quotes for 2010. Stay tuned...




Photo by Bill Pugliano/Getty

1. "Do ya think?" he's: Holding Back

"He deserves my silence."

— George W. Bush, former President, refusing to criticize President Barack Obama during a speech in March, his first address since leaving office. Yet the Republicans didn't waste any time later in the year, propelling Bush out in front to take the fire for complaining about Obama's job performance and handling of terrorism issues.

Hmmmm... yes, Obama still deserves his silence. The man was a hack in the Presidency so what real advice could he offer? The majority of the time he never watched nor read the news, depending upon filtered information from jealous coveting-the-power aides like Rove.



Photo by Ross D. Franklin/Getty

2. Obama's Persistent Peanut Gallery (OPPG) throwing rotten tomatoes:

"The America I know and love is not one in which my parents or my baby with Down syndrome will have to stand in front of Obama's 'death panel' so his bureaucrats can decide, based on a subjective judgment of their 'level of productivity in society,' whether they are worthy of health care."

— Sarah Palin, former Alaska governor, rambling all over the place on her Facebook page, whiner lying about a provision of the proposed health care bill that called for Medicare to reimburse doctors for counseling patients on end-of-life-care issues such as living wills and hospice availability. Somehow, she had reading comprehension problems and started screaming death panels are in the bill when clearly they are not.



3. Perilously Close on the Heels of Republican Retreads

"I'm happy to get good ideas from across the political spectrum, from Democrats and Republicans. What I won't do is return to the failed theories of the last eight years that got us into this fix in the first place, because those theories have been tested, and they have failed. And that's what part of the election in November was all about."

— President Obama, during his first official press conference, on 9 Feb 2009. What's annoying is when you follow such a disastrous act like Bush and Cheney who basically broke several world governments, is that you are forced to continue some of the same policies until you can stabilize a region, beginning new policies to repair all the damage.

So it goes in American politics for decades: Republicans like to blow up the world and Democrats come in behind them to clean up their mess. Then the public gets angry it takes too long to clean up the mess and choose Republicans again, thinking the economy will pick up. There is a real disconnect of the American voter with an understanding of just how long it takes to repair a mess and then gin up the economy.



4. The Commies Are Coming! The Commies Are Coming! Stay safe; hide under your school desk when the nukes hit. (Now there's a plan.)

"I don't want this country turning into Russia, turning into a socialized country. My question for you is, What are you going to do to restore this country back to what our founders created according to the Constitution?"

— Katy Abram, a Pennsylvania mother, speaking at a health care town hall moderated by Senator Arlen Specter in August in Lebanon, Pennsylvania. If this woman knew what she was talking about, understood economics, international diplomacy and common sense, and actually cared if women got equal pay for the same job, well, she would never have voted Republican in the first place. These guys are the ones who sent our country careening out of control financially for decades starting with President Reagan and his paranoid Star Wars concept.



5. Sad Prescient Epitaph of The King of Pop

" 'This Is It' really means this is it."

— Michael Jackson, pop star, in March as he announced his plans for a series of "final curtain call" concerts in London, slated for July. These performances would have been his first major live performances in 12 years, his parting gift to his loyal fans.

I remember seeing that news clip and had an inkling something odd was coming. Isn't it something how you can say or do something that later on people go, "Wow! I thought there was something about that!"



6. Straight from the heartless: Let Them Eat Tiramisu!

"They should see it like a weekend of camping."

— Silvio Berlusconi, Italy's Prime Minister, on the thousands of people left homeless by an April 6 earthquake that killed more than 300. This businessman billionaire is an embarrassment to the people of Italy. There are photos of him trying to hump a meter maid as she is giving a car a ticket, his wife is fed up with the mistresses and public humiliation and now he treats his countrymen with a cavalier dismissive wave of his royal hand of those who were suddenly left homeless and destitute.



7. Hillary not Bill is Secretary of State

"You want me to tell you what my husband thinks? My husband is not Secretary of State."

— Hillary Clinton, Secretary of State, during an August press conference in Kinshasa, Democratic Republic of Congo, to a student who asked her, "What does Mr. Clinton think, through the mouth of Mrs. Clinton?" According to State Department officials, the student approached Clinton afterward and said he had meant to ask what "Mr. Obama" thought.

The Republican press gave Hillary a difficult time with this one. Well, she should have been insulted that everyone thinks she is channeling her husband's brain. She has always been her own woman. Come on.

A close friend of mine had an interesting conversation with a former Secret Service agent who protected the Clintons in house. She was known for throwing laundry baskets and other large objects at Bill whenever she found out about the latest sexual gaffe she was so frustrated with his personal lack of discipline. There were a lot of holes in the walls to be repaired in the residential wing. You go, girl! You think a woman with this kind of passion would actually be so meek as to offer up her husband's opinions? What are you smoking?



8. Confessions of a Late Show Fool: Letterman

"The creepy stuff was that I have had sex with women who work for me on this show. My response to that is, yes, I have. Would it be embarrassing if it were made public? Yes, it would, especially for the women."

— David Letterman, Late Show host, who admited on air, Oct. 1, to being fool enough to have affairs with female staffers. He chose to go public after revealing he was being blackmailed by CBS producer Robert Halderman. Now get this: Halderman actually thought he could blackmail a guy who is cheap? Come on; a cheap guy will take public humiliation any day over emptying his wallet. Bad call, Halderman, you lose!



Photo by Reuters

9. Screaming in the Silence

"I was shouting, but no one could hear me."

— Rom Houben is a Belgian man who was paralyzed in a car accident. His doctors presumed him to be in a coma - for 23 years! Recently, in a July journal article new evidence was revealed to doctors to the contrary. There are new scanning techniques that discovered Houben had normal brain function! The article details doctors realized this back in 2006. Houben, who cannot speak, now communicates using a special keyboard.

What a horror that must have been for him all these years. I wonder why it took three years to go public with the good news? Too much medical community embarrassment? Well, at least Houben is now getting what he needs to feel more plugged into the world. Considering the computer age now, he has considerably more mental and communicative mobility than was available to others in his situation in decades past. It does make you wonder how many other Houbens there are out there yet to be freed.



Bernie Madoff, scam artist who bilked billions from investors in a Ponzi scheme, photo by Mario Tama/Getty

10. Con Man Remorse?

"I wish they caught me six years ago, eight years ago."

— Bernie Madoff, Ponzi schemer extraordinaire, taking the con to new heights, in an SEC interview, finally released in October. This quote came from part of an SEC investigation into its failure to flush out Madoff's scam for 16 years - even though there was information sent to them to prove the scam.

This has to be one of the audacious quotes of the year. Now we are supposed to feel sorry for him that he felt oh, so burdened he had fleeced so many people and charitable organizations? Too weird for my world.

*** Feel free to use the graphics as they are free for your blog or site!

*** A reader needs your help to document a quotation by Logan Pearsall-Smith: "All our lives we are putting pennies - our most golden pennies - into penny-in-the-slot machines that are almost always empty." Do any of you know the title of the work? Email me: warriorspearl@gmail.com and I'll pass it on.

*** THANKS for visiting!

25 November 2009

Funny Thanksgiving Quotes - Cheeky Quote Day! 25 Nov 2009



From Denny: Hope you all have a great Thanksgiving Day, full of good food, good friends, fun times and good wine! No matter what is going on in our lives, we always take extra time to reflect upon what is good in the world at our house.

We also like to think of new ways to nurture that goodness in others and, in turn, in the world. The world is what we choose to make of it! And I choose to laugh a lot, even for serious occasions. What is Life if you don't laugh til your sides hurt? :)

Quotes

* We're having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we're having a swan. You get more stuffing. - George Carlin (one of the cheekiest guys God ever made)

* Thanksgiving is the day when you turn to another family member and say, "How long has Mom been drinking like this?" My Mom, after six Bloody Marys looks at the turkey and goes, “Here, kitty, kitty.” - David Letterman

* Here I am 5 o'clock in the morning stuffing bread crumbs up a dead bird's butt. - Roseanne Barr

* It must be an odd feeling to be thankful to nobody in particular. Christians in public institutions often see this odd thing happening on Thanksgiving Day. Everyone in the institution seems to be thankful 'in general.' It's very strange. It's a little like being married in general. - Cornelius Plantinga, Jr.

* It was dramatic to watch my grandmother decapitate a turkey with an ax the day before Thanksgiving. Nowadays the expense of hiring grandmothers for the ax work would probably qualify all turkeys so honored with 'gourmet' status. - Russell Baker

* I celebrated Thanksgiving in an old-fashioned way. I invited everyone in my neighborhood to my house, we had an enormous feast, and then I killed them and took their land. - Jon Stewart

* My mother is such a lousy cook that Thanksgiving at her house is a time of sorrow. - Rita Rudner

* There is no sincerer love than the love of food. - George Bernard Shaw

* My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor. - Phyllis Diller

* Thanksgiving Day comes, by statute, once a year; to the honest man it comes as frequently as the heart of gratitude will allow. - Edward Sandford Martin



Photo by basykes @ flickr

* Thanksgiving dinners take eighteen hours to prepare. They are consumed in twelve minutes. Half-times take twelve minutes. This is not coincidence. ~ Erma Bombeck

* What we're really talking about is a wonderful day set aside on the fourth Thursday of November when no one diets. I mean, why else would they call it Thanksgiving? ~ Erma Bombeck, "No One Diets on Thanksgiving," 26 November 1981

* An optimist is a person who starts a new diet on Thanksgiving Day. ~ Irv Kupcinet

* On Thanksgiving Day, all over America, families sit down to dinner at the same moment: Football’s Half Time! ~ Anonymous

* Thanksgiving is America's national chow-down feast, the one occasion each year when gluttony becomes a patriotic duty. ~ Michael Dresser



Photo by riptheskull @ flickr

* If you count all your assets, you always show a profit. ~ Robert Quillen

* I have strong doubts that the first Thanksgiving even remotely resembled the "history" I was told in second grade. But considering that (when it comes to holidays) mainstream America's traditions tend to be over-eating, shopping, or getting drunk, I suppose it's a miracle that the concept of giving thanks even surfaces at all. ~ Ellen Orleans

* Thanksgiving: Not a good day to be my pants! ~ Kevin James

* Happy We-Stole-Your-Land-and-Killed-Your-People Day! ~ Thanksgiving toast, from the movie Sweet November

* Thanksgiving Day, a function which originated in New England two or three centuries ago when those people recognized that they really had something to be thankful for - annually, not oftener - if they had succeeded in exterminating their neighbors, the Indians, during the previous twelve months instead of getting exterminated by their neighbors, the Indians. Thanksgiving Day became a habit, for the reason that in the course of time, as the years drifted on, it was perceived that the exterminating had ceased to be mutual and was all on the white man's side, consequently on the Lord's side; hence it was proper to thank the Lord for it and extend the usual annual compliments. ~ Mark Twain

* The funny thing about Thanksgiving, or any huge meal, is that you spend 12 hours shopping for it and then chopping and cooking and braising and blanching. Then it takes 20 minutes to eat it and everybody sort of sits around in a food coma, and then it takes four hours to clean it up. ~ Ted Allen

* Coexistence: what the farmer does with the turkey - until Thanksgiving. ~ Mike Connolly

* The thing I'm most thankful for right now is elastic waistbands. ~ Anonymous

* I love Thanksgiving turkey. It's the only time in Los Angeles that you see natural breasts. ~ Arnold Schwarzenegger

* Thanksgiving is an emotional holiday. People travel thousands of miles to be with people they only see once a year. And then discover once a year is way too often. ~ Johnny Carson



Red Velvet Cake - a Southern tradition

Thanksgiving Day Joke

*** Thanksgiving Dinner Bribe


What will Dad do to get a grandchild?

The entire family was assembled for Thanksgiving dinner. All four children were there with their spouses that they had recently married. All four couples were childless.

Before saying grace, Father said that he would give $10,000 to the son or daughter who would present Mom and himself with their first grandchild. After the “Amen,” he looked up to find nobody left at the table except himself, Mom and the turkey.

Serving himself one drumstick and Mom the other, he turned to Mom and said, “Told you it would work.”


A little Thanksgiving Day poem for a grin:

May your stuffing be tasty
May your turkey plump,
May your potatoes and gravy
Have nary a lump.
May your yams be delicious
And your pies take the prize,
And may your Thanksgiving dinner
Stay off your thighs!
~ Anonymous

And one more grinner poem:

Stuffing the turkey

* For Christmas or Thanksgiving dinner, please learn a lesson from this poor person about how *not* to stuff the turkey!

The turkey shot out of the oven
and rocketed into the air,
it knocked every plate off the table
and partly demolished a chair.

It ricocheted into a corner and
burst with a deafening boom,
then splattered all over the kitchen,
completely obscuring the room.

It stuck to the walls and the windows,
it totally coated the floor,
there was turkey attached to the ceiling,
where there’d never been turkey before.

It blanketed every appliance,
it smeared every saucer and bowl,
there wasn’t a way I could stop it,
that turkey was out of control.

I scraped and I scrubbed with displeasure,
and thought with chagrin as I mopped,
that I’d never again stuff a turkey....
with popcorn that hadn’t been popped!!

- Anonymous (Oh, how I wish I wrote that one, what a scream!)



Photo of Annie the dog, a satisfied customer on Thanksgiving Day by brad_holt @ flickr

And the entertainment continues... :)

21 Funny Thanksgiving Fighting Turkey Photos

Prez Obama prepares for his first turkey pardon (wonder if it's name is Cheney...?)



Here's the actual Presidential Pardon of Courage the 45 pound turkey:



Geeky Girl Gone Wild: Happy Thanksgiving Dance!

Catch up on more funnies and a gazillion recipes too:

Creole Seafood Mixed Grill from New Orleans Famed Commanders Palace

Pumpkin Risotto, Crispy Bread Soffritto, and Pumpkin Chile Recipes

23 Posts Roundup 23 Nov 2009 - more Thanksgiving recipes and funnies.

*** Thanks for visiting and have a GREAT Thanksgiving holiday! :)

04 November 2009

Ironic Grinners - Cheeky Quote Day! 4 Nov 2009



Fashion photos often say so much more than they originally intended...

From Denny: Quotes are like this dramatic photo of the swish of elegant drama against a backdrop of a crumbling facade...the ironic ones are often incongruous. Quotes are often those snappy quips that sideline our serious side and whack us with a tickle to our funny place. The concept of irony only underscores, sometimes sledgehammers, the amusement.

I love it when a quote gives me yet another new perspective on a subject, often from a point of view coming from a place in mankind's history that is notable. Those quotes give us a window into the lives and times of our ancestors.

Take a look and see how it gets your mind juices going with possibilities - not to mention a few writing prompts for you too! :)



* All my best thoughts were stolen by the ancients. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

* Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored. - Aldous Huxley

* The sinning is the best part of repentance. - Arab Proverb

* Do not do unto others as you would that they should do unto you. Their tastes may not be the same. - G.B. Shaw, "Maxims for Revolutionists," 1898

* It's pretty hard to be efficient without being obnoxious. - Kin Hubbard

* Is a stolen copyright a copywrong? – Anonymous

* No man likes to have his intelligence or good faith questioned, especially if he has doubts about it himself. - Henry Adams

* I don't say we all ought to misbehave, but we ought to look as if we could. - Orson Welles

* To live is in itself a value judgment. To breathe is to judge. - Albert Camus, The Rebel, 1951

* No man sees far; the most see no farther than their noses. - Thomas Carlyle, "Count Cagliostro," 1833

* He who is allowed to do as he likes will soon run his head into a brick wall out of sheer frustration. - Robert Musil, The Man without Qualities, 1930

* It is better to emit a scream in the shape of a theory than to be entirely insensible to the jars and incongruities of life and take everything as it comes in a forlorn stupidity. - Robert Louis Stevenson, "Crabbed Age and Youth," Virginibus Puerisque, 1881

* We confess to little faults only to persuade ourselves that we have no great ones. - François, Duc de La Rochefoucauld, Maxims, 1665

* We learn geology the morning after the earthquake. - Ralph Waldo Emerson, The Conduct of Life, 1860

* Most people die at the last minute; others twenty years beforehand, some even earlier. They are the wretched of the earth. - Louis Céline, Voyage au bout du monde, 1932
(Which brings to mind the saying, “He was born in 1950, died in 1990 and he was buried in 2008.”)

* The tragedy of life is what dies inside a man while he lives. - Albert Schweitzer

* Most men are more capable of great actions than of good ones. – Montesquieu, Variètès

* Some defeats [are] more triumphant than victories. - Montaigne, Essays, 1588

* Just because you're not uptight doesn't mean you're irresponsible. And vice versa. When will those Conservatives ever learn? - Carrie Latet

* In every age "the good old days" were a myth. No one ever thought they were good at the time. For every age has consisted of crises that seemed intolerable to the people who lived through them. - Brooks Atkinson, Once Around the Sun, 1951

* It takes more strength of character to withstand good fortune than bad. - La Rochefoucauld, Reflections, 1665
(Which brings to mind that is the same thing lottery winners often say today. Most lottery winners are bankrupt within two years after winning a huge sum of money as they place the investments with scam artists.)

* The right to be heard does not automatically include the right to be taken seriously. - Hubert Humphrey, speech, Madison, Wisconsin, 23 August 1965. (He must be a prophet! He knew more than 40 years ago how the Republicans would no longer be taken seriously by the country. As it is, the amount of people who identify and label themselves Republicans has now dropped to 19% and falling.)

* I think the enemy is here before us.... I think the enemy is simple selfishness and compulsive greed.... I think he stole our earth from us, destroyed our wealth, and ravaged and despoiled our land. - Thomas Wolfe, You Can't Go Home Again, 1949
(So go political parties throughout history that promote Big Business and war – from long before Hitler to today’s Bush.)



* There is a sort of man who pays no attention to his good actions, but is tormented by his bad ones. This is the type that most often writes about himself. - W. Somerset Maugham, The Summing Up, 1938
(You sure see a lot of that in the blogosphere…)

* I find my joy of living in the fierce and ruthless battles of life, and my pleasure comes from learning something. - Auguste Strindberg, Miss Julie, 1888

* Men are idolaters and want something to look at and kiss and hug, or throw themselves down before; they always did, they always will; and if you don't make it out of wood, you must make it out of words. - Oliver Wendell Holmes, The Poet at the Breakfast Table, 1872
(I have got to find this book and read it – if only for the cool title!)

* We look for some reward of our endeavours and are disappointed; not success, not happiness, not even peace of conscience, crowns our ineffectual efforts to do well. -
Robert Louis Stevenson, "Pulvis et umbra," 1888

* Where is Hollywood located? Chiefly between the ears. In that part of the American brain lately vacated by God. - Erica Jong

* Believe me, for certain men at least, not taking what one doesn't desire is the hardest thing in the world. - Albert Camus

* We're seldom drawn to a character we admire; only to a personality we like. - Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966

* Eloquence is vehement simplicity. - Richard Cecil

* True eloquence forgoes eloquence. - André Gide

* ...for here there is no place that does not see you. You must change your life. ~Rainer Maria Rilke, "Archaic Torso of Apollo," about a sculpture, translated by Stephen Mitchell

* Sometimes I have to stand on my head to see things as they are, when the world seems so upside-down that this is the only position in which anything makes sense. - Anonymous

* If fortune smiles, who doesn't? If fortune doesn't, who does? - Chinese Proverb

* Few great men could pass personnel. - Paul Goodman

* I have learned the truth of the observation that the more one approaches great men the more one finds that they are men. - Bernard M. Baruch

* There is a great man who makes every man feel small. But the real great man is the man who makes every man feel great. - G.K. Chesterton

* We have, I fear, confused power with greatness. - Stewart Udall

* It is a mistake to imagine that potentially great men are rare. It is the conditions that permit the promise of greatness to be fulfilled that are rare. What is so difficult to achieve is the cultural background that permits potential greatness to be converted into actual greatness. - Fred Hoyle, Of Man and Galaxies

* I suppose that everyone of us hopes secretly for immortality; to leave, I mean, a name behind him which will live forever in this world, whatever he may be doing, himself, in the next. - A.A. Milne

* The least of man's original emanation is better than the best of a borrowed thought. - Albert Pinkham Ryder

* The mark of highest originality lies in the ability to develop a familiar idea so fruitfully that it would seem no one else would ever have discovered so much to be hidden in it. - Goethe

* An impossibility does not disturb us until its accomplishment shows what fools we were. - Henry S. Haskins

* We talk much more about individualism and liberty than our ancestors. But as so often happens, when anything becomes conscious, the consciousness is compensatory for absence in practice. - John Dewey

* Light comes to us unexpectedly and obliquely. Perhaps it amuses the gods to try us. They want to see whether we are asleep. - H.M. Tomlinson



* It is difficult to get a man to understand something when his salary depends upon his not understanding it. - Upton Sinclair

* The Lord gives us friends to push us to our potential - and enemies to push us beyond it. -
Robert Brault

* The only time you realize you have a reputation is when you're not living up to it. - José Iturbi

* The mind is seldom quickened to very vigorous operations but by pain, or the dread of pain. We do not disturb ourselves with the detection of fallacies which do us no harm. - Samuel Johnson

* Every man is more than just himself; he also represents the unique, the very special and always significant and remarkable point at which the world's phenomena intersect, only once in this way and never again. - Hermann Hesse

* The conflict of forces and the struggle of opposing wills are of the essence of our universe and alone hold it together. - Havelock Ellis
(The very essence of the world of duality…)

* Play not with paradoxes. That caustic which you handle in order to scorch others may happen to sear your own fingers and make them dead to the quality of things. - George Eliot, Felix Holt, The Radical



* Tact is the art of making a point without making an enemy. - Howard W. Newton

* No man thoroughly understands a truth until he has contended against it. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

* Nothing is really work unless you would rather be doing something else. - James M. Barrie

* Most people like hard work. Particularly when they are paying for it. - Franklin P. Jones

* There's a mighty big difference between good, sound reasons and reasons that sound good. - Burton Hillis
(That sounds like the Bush years’ Rove stategies.)

* We are wide-eyed in contemplating the possibility that life may exist elsewhere in the universe, but we wear blinders when contemplating the possibilities of life on earth. -
Norman Cousins (the guy who laughed his way to health and defeated cancer)

* Originality is the art of concealing your source. - Franklin P. Jones

* I would rather have men ask why I have no statue (to memorialize me) than why I have one. - Marcus Porcius Cato

* It is one of the commonest of mistakes to consider that the limit of our power of perception is also the limit of all there is to perceive. - C.W. Leadbeater

* Every nation ridicules other nations, and all are right. - Arthur Schopenhauer

* We know nothing about motivation. All we can do is write books about it. - Peter Drucker

* We would often be ashamed of our finest actions if the world understood all the motives which produced them. - Duc de La Rochefoucauld

* Fame - the aggregate of all the misunderstandings that collect around a new name. -
Rainer Maria Rilke

* I know of no more encouraging fact than the unquestionable ability of man to elevate his life by a conscious endeavor. - Henry David Thoreau

* He gave her a look you could have poured on a waffle. - Ring Lardner



* Some secrets are fires so scorching, the only way to quench the burn is to tell someone. - Forrest Loremint

* The brighter you are, the more you have to learn. - Don Herold

* We see then how far the monuments of wit and learning are more durable than the monuments of power, or of the hands. For have not the verses of Homer continued twenty-five hundred years or more, without the loss of a syllable or letter; during which time infinite palaces, temples, castles, cities have been decayed and demolished? - Francis Bacon
(This was written centuries before the internet because now everyone thinks themselves as excellent a writer as Shakespeare)

* Resting is the sort of thing you've got to work up to gradually. It's very dangerous to rest all of a sudden. - From the movie Topper, 1937

* A little learning is not a dangerous thing to one who does not mistake it for a great deal. -
William Allen White
(Reminds me of arm-chair quarterbacks whether in sport or politics.)

* A society that gives to one class all the opportunities for leisure, and to another all the burdens of work, dooms both classes to spiritual sterility. - Lewis Mumford

* Liberalism... is the noblest cry that has ever resounded in this planet. - José Ortega y Gasset
(I’d rather err on the side of being too generous than being too stingy with people.)

* The first requisite for immortality is death. - Stanislaw J. Lec

* The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn't being said. - Anonymous

* A weak mind is like a microscope, which magnifies trifling things but cannot receive great ones. - Lord Chesterfield




And two inspirational quotes:

* But words are things, and a small drop of ink, falling like dew, upon a thought, produces that which makes thousands, perhaps, millions, think. - Lord Byron, Don Juan, 1819

* The ideals which have lighted my way, and time after time have given me new courage to face life cheerfully, have been kindness, beauty, and truth. - Albert Einstein, Ideas and Opinions


*** Thanks for visiting, everyone, have a great work week, and come back often!

28 October 2009

Lampooning Perfectionists - Cheeky Quote Day 28 Oct 2009



Perfection Sign Photo by TriXInc @ flickr

From Denny: Have you ever been annoyed by someone blustering about, fretting, worrying, bullying you and everyone else into joining their narrow world of perfectionism? What an unhappy place! Yet there are those who continue to insist upon forcing their rigid unrealistic dream onto the rest of us, a dream that continues to elude them. (Oh, Thank You, there is a God...)

I'm all for striving for the best in excellence but honey, there is a time when you just have to let go and let it fly out of the nest to get crushed by the criticism of the world. In time, whatever creative thing you sent out into the world often gets validated, just later. Forget about immediate gratification that the perfectionist seeks.

Can you tell I grew up about perfectionists? My reply to them? They make drugs for people like you; please use them. If you can't afford the drugs then come to my blog and start reading, religiously, the Cheeky Quote Day segments. I may even start the Cheeky Quote Day Health Care Plan. Feel free to pay in reasonably priced installments.

You need to lighten up and have some fun, especially poking fun at yourself. After all, imperfection begins at home, right? So does charity. Try being kinder to yourself and everyone else around you. The world will be a better place when people make the conscious decision to slow down, quit worrying so much, get outside their own heads and be more sociable.

Apparently, perfectionism has plagued society for generations. For hundreds of years writers have opined about the dilemma, trying to define it, dismiss it or reshape it. And, here I am, the next generation, here to repackage and market it because good classics just never go out of style, not when it comes to lampooning our own humanity. :) Most of these quotes are obvious laugh out loud while others really make you think, sometimes, in reverse, like how a crawfish moves, a skittering thought skimming your mind in unexpected ways.



Arc of Triumph in Paris Photo by Zigar @ flickr

Perfection Quotes

* Congratulations! You're not perfect! It's ridiculous to want to be perfect anyway. But then, everybody's ridiculous sometimes, except perfect people. You know what perfect is? Perfect is not eating or drinking or talking or moving a muscle or making even the teensiest mistake.

Perfect is never doing anything wrong - which means never doing anything at all. Perfect is boring! So you're not perfect! Wonderful! Have fun! Eat things that give you bad breath!

Trip over your own shoelaces! Laugh! Let somebody else laugh at you! Perfect people never do any of those things. All they do is sit around and sip weak tea and think about how perfect they are. But they're really not one-hundred-percent perfect anyway. You should see them when they get the hiccups! Phooey! Who needs 'em?

You can drink pickle juice and imitate gorillas and do silly dances and sing stupid songs and wear funny hats and be as imperfect as you please and still be a good person. Good people are hard to find nowadays. And they're a lot more fun than perfect people any day of the week. - Stephen Manes, Be a Perfect Person in Just Three Days!



The closest to perfection a person ever comes is when he fills out a job application form. - Stanley J. Randall

This is the very perfection of a man, to find out his own imperfection. - Augustine

No one is perfect... that's why pencils have erasers. - Anonymous

Ring the bells that still can ring
Forget your perfect offering.
There is a crack in everything,
That's how the light gets in.
- Leonard Cohen

To escape criticism - do nothing, say nothing, be nothing. - Elbert Hubbard

Only in grammar can you be more than perfect. - William Safire

Sometimes... when you hold out for everything, you walk away with nothing. - From the television show Ally McBeal



Photo by MigRodz @ flickr - I love Muscogy ducks. They are intelligent birds, sweet-natured, loving and friendly. Most people think them ugly; I adore them!

Use what talents you possess; the woods would be very silent if no birds sang except those that sang best. - Henry van Dyke

Gold cannot be pure, and people cannot be perfect. - Chinese Proverb

Better a diamond with a flaw than a pebble without. - Confucius, Analects

When you aim for perfection, you discover it's a moving target. - George Fisher

Once you accept the fact that you're not perfect, then you develop some confidence. - Rosalynn Carter

There are no perfect men in this world, only perfect intentions. - Pen Densham, Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves



Mother Teresa Photo by TheAlieness GiselaGiardino23 @ flickr - Known for suffering from terrible depression and many imperfections she allievated the suffering in many people's lives and lifted their souls out of despair.

The imperfections of a man, his frailties, his faults, are just as important as his virtues. You can't separate them. They're wedded. - Henry Miller

The human story does not always unfold like a mathematical calculation on the principle that two and two make four. Sometimes in life they make five or minus three; and sometimes the blackboard topples down in the middle of the sum and leaves the class in disorder and the pedagogue with a black eye. - Winston Churchill

Always live up to your standards - by lowering them, if necessary. - Mignon McLaughlin, The Second Neurotic's Notebook, 1966

He who hath not a dram of folly in his mixture hath pounds of much worse matter in his composition. - Charles Lamb

Even the best needles are not sharp at both ends. - Chinese Proverb

The pursuit of perfection, then, is the pursuit of sweetness and light. - Matthew Arnold

I want to stay as close to the edge as I can without going over. Out on the edge you see all kinds of things you can't see from the center. - Kurt Vonnegut, Jr., Player Piano

Unless I accept my faults I will most certainly doubt my virtues. - Hugh Prather

Perfection is achieved, not when there is nothing more to add, but when there is nothing left to take away. - Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

Striving to better, oft we mar what's well. - William Shakespeare, King Lear, 1605 (Today in Southern Speak: If it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.)

Have no fear of perfection - you'll never reach it. - Salvador Dali

All of us failed to match our dreams of perfection. - William Faulkner

A good garden may have some weeds. - Thomas Fuller, Gnomologia, 1732



Orchid Photo by InkHong @ flickr

I cling to my imperfection, as the very essence of my being. - Anatole France (Jacques Anatole François Thibault), The Garden of Epicurus, 1894

He that will have a perfect brother must resign himself to remain brotherless. - Italian Proverb

You see, when weaving a blanket, an Indian woman leaves a flaw in the weaving of that blanket to let the soul out. - Martha Graham

Living up to ideals is like doing everyday work with your Sunday clothes on. - Ed Howe

Try as hard as we may for perfection, the net result of our labors is an amazing variety of imperfectness. We are surprised at our own versatility in being able to fail in so many different ways. - Samuel McChord Crothers

The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself. - Anna Quindlen

A good friend who points out mistakes and imperfections and rebukes evil is to be respected as if he reveals a secret of hidden treasure. - Buddha

Truth is so great a perfection, that if God would render himself visible to men, he would choose light for his body and truth for his soul. - Pythagoras

Perfection is what American women expect to find in their husbands... but English women only hope to find in their butlers. - W. Somerset Maugham



Rainy Day in Paris Photo by Zigar @ flickr

Remember that fear always lurks behind perfectionism. Confronting your fears and allowing yourself the right to be human can, paradoxically, make you a far happier and more productive person. – Dr. David M. Burns

They say that nobody is perfect. Then they tell you practice makes perfect. I wish they'd make up their minds. - Winston Churchill

I am careful not to confuse excellence with perfection. Excellence, I can reach for; perfection is God's business. - Michael J. Fox

The true perfection of man lies not in what man has, but in what man is. - Oscar Wilde

The true work of art is but a shadow of the divine perfection. - Michelangelo

All of us failed to match our dreams of perfection. So I rate us on the basis of our splendid failure to do the impossible. - William Faulkner

Fix your eyes on perfection and you make almost everything speed towards it. - William Ellery Channing

When nobody around you seems to measure up, it's time to check your yardstick. - Bill Lemley

The most difficult part of attaining perfection is finding something to do for an encore. – Anonymous

Does "anal-retentive" have a hyphen? - Alison Bechdel

When you aim for perfection, you discover it's a moving target. - Geoffrey F. Fisher

Everything is perfect in the universe - even your desire to improve it. - Wayne Dyer

The only nice thing about being imperfect is the joy it brings to others. - Doug Larson



Blue Morning Reflections Photo by papalars @ flickr

And the end result of success - from too much perfectionism - is irony:

Flaming enthusiasm, backed up by horse sense and persistence, is the quality that most frequently makes for success. - Dale Carnegie (OMG, he knows me! Who told him?)

The penalty of success is to be bored by people who used to snub you. - Nancy Astor, Viscountess, U.S.- born British politician

This is the last time that I will take part as an amateur. - Daniel Francois Esprit Auber, French composer

To be loved is to be fortunate, but to be hated is to achieve distinction. - Minna Antrim, U.S. writer

Work is a dull way to get rich.
- Neal Ascherson, British journalist and author

There is a theory which states that if ever anyone discovers exactly what the Universe is for and why it is here, it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. - Douglas Adams, British writer

It is easier to fight for one’s principles than to live up to them. - Alfred Adler, Austrian psychiatrist

Nothing is more dangerous than an idea, when you have only one idea. - Alain, French philosopher (Propos sur la religion)




*** Thanks for visiting, everyone, have a great work week! (I'm sending you out of the nest all laughed up...)

*** For more funnies: 5 Funny Chocolate Quotes, Sandra Boyntons B. B. King Video

Photo Credits

Perfection Sign Photo by TriXInc @ flickr

Arc of Triumph in Paris Photo by Zigar @ flickr

Muscogy Duck Photo by MigRodz @ flickr

Mother Teresa Photo by TheAlieness GiselaGiardino23 @ flickr

Orchid Photo by InkHong @ flickr

Rainy Day in Paris Photo by Zigar @ flickr

Blue Morning Reflections Photo by papalars @ flickr

22 September 2009

3 Funny Quotes About Human Nature



Photo by snuzzy @ flickr

From Denny: While I was setting up a new account on Twitter now called DennyLyon7 (the old one - warriorlight - got messed up from putting a badge of support on my avatar.

Note to self: Never put a badge of support on your avatar ever again. Write this 1,000 times on the blackboard or digital equivalent thereof. It was a lemonade badge to support kids with cancer. No good deed goes unpunished. :)

So, while I was laughing at myself (and groaning about all the tedious tech work for the past week this has required) I thought I'd fish around for some funny quotes about human nature so you could laugh with me! Even the dog is laughing...

Quotes

* Imagination was given to man to compensate him for what he is not, a sense of humor to console him for what he is. - Oscar Wilde

* All men are frauds. The only difference between them is that some admit it. I myself deny it. - H. L. Mencken

And my absolute favorite:

* Never be afraid to laugh at yourself, after all, you could be missing out on the joke of the century. - Dame Edna Everage
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