07 December 2009

Roundup of Late Night Funnies 7 Dec 2009

From Denny: I've been laughing today while watching these silly videos on a dreary rainy day in south Louisiana. Enjoy these funny guys so you can get started off right for a great work week! :)

From Jay Leno:

President Obama last night ordered 30,000 more troops in Afghanistan to fight the Taliban, but on an 18-month timetable. In a related story, the Taliban announced they are on a 19-month timetable.

The good news, Obama said he expects to start bringing our troops home in two years. The bad news, Bush said the same thing seven years ago.

President Obama gave his speech last night at West Point. He was going to give it at the White House, but he wanted some place with better security.



You know what we should do? Get rid of the Secret Service, bring in some nightclub bouncers.

But this is serious, because that couple who crashed the White House state dinner ended up meeting the president. Did you see that? There's a photo of them meeting face-to-face with President Obama, which is amazing when you realize that even Fox News had not met face-to-face with President Obama.

And The Washington Post suggested today that this party-crashing couple may have a long history of deceiving people. Well, no wonder they fit in at the White House.

A group has now filed papers to nominate Dick Cheney to run for president of the United States in 2012. You may have heard of the group, Halliburton.

New reports on Sarah Palin's 'Going Rogue' bus tour. They say she's been traveling on private planes to various stops and then just hops in the bus at the local town. So, let's see what you got. You have Sarah Palin, who's no longer governor, who's promoting a book she didn't actually write by going on a bus tour which is not really a bus. Her big complaint? Politicians who aren't real.

I watched Oprah interview Sarah Palin a couple weeks ago. Spent a whole hour talking to her. And I realized, if John McCain had done that, we never would have heard of Sarah Palin.

From Craig Ferguson:

Everybody's talking about President Obama's speech last night. He's sending 30,000 more troops to Afghanistan. Right now, in Scandinavia, the Nobel Committee is really rethinking the whole peace prize.

Anyway, the good news is the first people Obama sends to Afghanistan are those White House party crashers, so it's not all bad.

Jon Stewart lampooning just about everything and most especially global warming critics:

The Daily Show With Jon StewartMon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Scientists Hide Global Warming Data
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show
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Political HumorHealth Care Crisis


From Jimmy Kimmel:

After months of deliberation, our president, President Obama, tonight revealed his much-anticipated plans for Afghanistan. Turns out he's decided to pave it over and make a Wal-Mart out of it.

Speaking from West Point, NY, the President announced he will send 30,000 additional troops to Afghanistan over the next six months and 2,000 additional troops to Tiger Woods's mansion in Orlando. Peacekeeping forces.



As you know, Afghanistan is strategically important to the United States because they control, like, 90 percent of the world's supply of rubble, and we need that.

Congratulations, I want to say, to former President Bill and Secretary of State Hillary Clinton. Their daughter, Chelsea, got engaged over the weekend. You know when you have to decide whether or not to invite the bride's father to the bachelor party? That's going to be a tough call.

Chelsea will marry her longtime boyfriend, investment banker Marc Mezvinsky. She must really love him, because Chelsea Mezvinsky doesn't exactly roll off the tongue.

From Conan O’Brien:

Last night, President Obama gave a speech at West Point. Right in the middle, they cut to a cadet who was sleeping. That cadet was immediately assigned to work security at the next White House state dinner.

Last night, Fox commentator Bill O'Reilly said that President Obama's speech was “no Gettysburg address.” When he heard this, Larry King said: “How would you know? I don't remember seeing you there.”

Time magazine plans to announce its 'Person of the Year' next week. And top contenders include President Obama and Steve Jobs. The other top contender? The one guy who still reads Time magazine.

This is interesting. A list of this year's 15 most commonly used words has been released. And it includes H1N1, deficit and health care. Not making the list this year, Chrysler-mania.

After three months of will he or won't he, the president went on all the major networks and NBC to finally reveal what he is going to do about Afghanistan. And for critics who say Americans haven't sacrificed for these wars, well, they have now. Because last night, the president's speech actually preempted the annual showing of 'A Charlie Brown Christmas.' Good grief, it's literally a war on Christmas.

The Secret Service just announced that due to that couple crashing the White House state dinner last week, they will change some of their screening policies. For example, the password to get into the White House will no longer be, “Seriously, they said we could come.”

Some people are upset about President Obama's prime time speech tonight because it bumped ABC's airing of “A Charlie Brown Christmas,” or as Fox News reported it, “Obama ruins Christmas for a depressed bald kid.”

Colbert crushes Glenn Beck for latest hysteria about Obama:

The Colbert ReportMon - Thurs 11:30pm / 10:30c
U.S. Army Chain of Command
www.colbertnation.com
Colbert Report Full EpisodesPolitical HumorU.S. Speedskating


- from a cartoonist in Austria.

*** To catch up on various posts for The Social Poets and more on other blogs about positive heart-warming news, science, health and politics, check out Catch Up on Posts 6 Dec 2009.

*** Thanks for visiting!



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