Totally Ridiculous Comedy: Jacks Nightclub

Totally Ridiculous Comedy: Jacks Nightclub

By Denny Lyon @ HubPages

From Denny: "I like nonsense - it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living. It's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope... and that enables you to laugh at all of life's realities." - Dr. Seuss

Wrote this recently as a raucous fast-paced ridiculous short story. It's really a silly very short story. Take a look and you will be amused!

Writing Exercise

Many times I will assign myself some kind of writing exercise to loosen up my mind to push it out of the usual day-to-day analytical mode of just plain dealing with life, you know, solving problems. You might need a break from everything you do, well, this is a great way to take a vacation without spending any money or leaving the house - how convenient! :)

Seriously though, writing like this is such a good idea to stretch your imagination, give you more ideas of what else you could write and most of all, no pressure of deadlines or expectations from yourself or others.

The idea is to forget most of what every writing teacher ever taught you. Sit down to the keyboard and start writing, literally, whatever silly thing comes to mind, the more ridiculous the better. Don't plan a thing; don't outline a plot, a theme, characters, nothing. It's strictly funny brain drivel!

The second idea to keep in mind as far as technique is to use a couple of "don'ts" like run-on sentences and cliches which usually are the kiss of death for a good write. But when it is a zany little romp like the short story here it actually is a fit!

Try your hand at this kind of writing exercise, have some fun, and then laugh your socks off at what comes out! The only rule? It has to be utterly and completely ridiculous!

Here's an excerpt from my world of the ridiculous:

"Jack jumped over the electric blue fox - who was hunting down the orange cat - who was preying upon the stupid cockroach that was having an identity crisis - and believed he was a popular dragonfly down at the local Irish pub - because he sang Irish songs everyone loved and wrote some damn good poetry.

The orange cat circled back to chase the identity crisis cockroach - who just knew he was really Irish in a former life - while the blue fox preened and bathed in the fast-paced lights of the nightclub – this fox enthusiastically embraced blue as the new fashion neutral - it was Jack who was looking for the weird alien orange cat that kept eluding him - who was stalking the brave Irish-singing cockroach determined to make it to Broadway.

The powerful-singing cockroach drowned out the elegant Irish pub-singing dragonfly - and soon the people customers complained about the strange odd noises blaring from the rising platform – it was two ants standing on a leaf singing opera - and more ants joined them from the audience singing 49 Bottles of Guinness Beer on the Wall and Get Down Tonight! – and soon the nightclub was jumping and bumping - and the people were dancing and squishing and splatting the friendly ants - who got the place hopping on a Saturday night in the first place."

For the rest of the story just click on the title link! Thanks for visiting!



HubPages, literature, Lyon, online writing, Short Stories, short story, Tonight Show, writing exercise, Online Writing, Arts, Denny Lyon, Short story, The Social Poets

Millions Watch Solar Eclipse: Awe and Fear

Featured: Solar eclipse highlights, NASA video of eclipse time-lapse photography, article on religious and astrological significance from India.

Updated 23 July 2009: Great NBC video about the eclipse and culture

Darkness falls in Asia during total eclipse, luring masses

From Denny: Here are a few excerpts from CNN about the huge event of today's solar eclipse. CNN even has a science explainer page with a moving diagram that explains a solar eclipse, worth the view, and link is at the bottom of this post.


Story highlights:

Event is longest of 21st century, astronomers predict it would last over 6 minutes
People in parts of Pacific Ocean, China and India able to get full view
Chinese city of Shanghai touted as one of the best spots to watch the eclipse


(CNN) -- The longest solar eclipse of the century cast a wide shadow for several minutes over Asia and the Pacific Ocean Wednesday, luring throngs of people outside to watch the spectacle.

Day turned into night, temperatures turned cooler in cities and villages teemed with amateur stargazers.

India

The total eclipse started in India on Wednesday morning and moved eastward across Nepal, Bangladesh, Bhutan, Vietnam, China and parts of the Pacific. Millions cast their eyes towards the heavens to catch a rare view of the sun's corona.

Total eclipses occur about twice a year as the moon passes between the Earth and the sun on the same plane as Earth's orbit. Wednesday's event lasted up to more than six minutes in some places.

In India, where an eclipse pits science against superstition, thousands took a dip in the Ganges River in the Hindu holy city of Varanasi to cleanse their souls, said Ajay Kumar Upadhyay, the district's most senior official.

China

It was sunny skies in Hong Kong for the eclipse, where students, parents and the elderly flooded a primary school to watch in the southern Chinese enclave.

The local astronomy society gave a presentation on how an eclipse happens and children climbed up ladders to look through two large telescopes on the school roof -- packed with skygazers -- to catch a glimpse of the moon moving across the sun.

Others looked through binoculars covered with solar filter paper or through a large rectangular block labeled "Large Solar Filter," where they could take pictures of the moon moving over the sun.

Astronomy enthusiast Louis Chung, 13, brought his teacher to the school to witness the eclipse.

"City folks wouldn't usually be able to see this. Nature is wonderful. It is awesome to know that nature can provide such spectacular sights," said Chung, a member of the Hong Kong Astronomical Society.

Hawaii, USA

Richard Binzel, an astronomer at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology, said the total eclipse will first be visible at sunrise in India and about four hours later just east of Hawaii. A partial eclipse will be visible as far south as northern Australia and as far north as Siberia, he said.

Cultural Traditions Surrounding Eclipse Events

In India, an eclipse is considered inauspicious. Women forbid pregnant daughters-in-law from going outside out of the belief that their children could be born with marks or birth defects. Some temples won't offer any prayers on the day of an eclipse -- such as the one next to the planetarium in Mumbai, which said it won't even light a stick of incense.

In Chinese tradition, there is a story about a heavenly dog eating the sun. As the story goes, people would make noise to scare off the dog and rescue the sun, said Bill Yeung, president of the Hong Kong Astronomical Society.

"In ancient China, we shared the same impression with our Indian friends that a solar eclipse was not a good thing," he told CNN.

Updated 23 July 2009 - Great NBC video about the eclipse and culture:

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

From Denny: NASA's view of an eclipse time-lapse photography

Visit msnbc.com for Breaking News, World News, and News about the Economy

From Denny: Here is an interesting article from the Hindu religious perspective from a writer in India.

Lunar Eclipse Explainer page at CNN :

Religious Significance and Astrological Effects: "This Solar Eclipse has special significance as the Solar Eclipse happening on 22 July, 2009 is the first Solar Eclipse in this new Hindu year and also falls in the holy month of Sravan. Eclipse time is also considered very auspicious for spiritual practices. Hindu Temples except some Shiva Temples remain closed during the Eclipse and open only after proper rituals are performed to get rid of the ill effects of the Surya Grahan."

Written by Anamika S @ HubPages


Photo from China TV


22 July 2009, China, India, lunar eclipse, Eclipse, Pacific Ocean, Hong Kong, Astronomy, Solar eclipse, China and India, Hawaii

Cheeky Quote Day! 22 July 2009

Funny Quotes about unemployment and jobs from the Quote Garden.

Clown Photo by Tanzan @ flickr

From Denny: When the world is in chaos, the economy is confused and your 401K is now a 201K and descending, you just have to laugh about it all! Over at the Quote Garden site, bless their industrious little souls, they actually had a category for unemployment and another one for jobs quotes. I managed to cull out the lighter ones, enjoy!

We pretend to work because they pretend to pay us. ~ Author Unknown

It's a recession when your neighbor loses his job; it's a depression when you lose your own. ~ President Harry S. Truman

Unemployment is capitalism's way of getting you to plant a garden. ~ Orson Scott Card

The trouble with unemployment is that the minute you wake up in the morning you're on the job. ~ Slappy White

Cessation of work is not accompanied by cessation of expenses. ~ Cato the Elder

An "acceptable" level of unemployment means that the government economist to whom it is acceptable still has a job. ~ Author Unknown

Unemployment diminishes people. Leisure enlarges them. ~ Mason Cooley
(Hmmm… is this guy telling us that now is a great time to lose weight???)

We believe that if men have the talent to invent new machines that put men out of work, they have the talent to put those men back to work. ~ President John F. Kennedy
(Will someone please send this quote to the Republicans?)

When I quit working, I lost all sense of identity in about fifteen minutes. ~ Paige Rense

What is the good of being a genius if you cannot use it as an excuse for being unemployed? ~ Gerald Barzan

The number one sign you have nothing to do at work: The 4th Division of Paperclips has overrun the Pushpin Infantry and General White-Out has called for a new skirmish. ~ Fred Barling, "Humorscope"

Find a job you like and you add five days to every week. ~ H. Jackson Browne

Accomplishing the impossible means only that the boss will add it to your regular duties. ~ Doug Larson

Every day I get up and look through the Forbes list of the richest people in America. If I'm not there, I go to work. ~ Robert Orben

If a train station is where the train stops, what's a work station? ~ Author Unknown

Executive ability is deciding quickly and getting somebody else to do the work. ~ John G. Pollard

Many people quit looking for work when they find a job. ~ Author Unknown

A lot of fellows nowadays have a B.A., M.D., or Ph.D. Unfortunately, they don't have a J.O.B. ~ "Fats" Domino

Monday is a lame way to spend 1/7 of your life. ~ Author Unknown

Don't worry about people stealing your ideas. If your ideas are any good, you'll have to ram them down people's throats. ~ Howard Aiken

A Mission Statement is a dense slab of words that a large organization produces when it needs to establish that its workers are not just sitting around downloading Internet porn. ~ Dave Barry

The supreme accomplishment is to blur the line between work and play. ~ Arnold Toynbee

The closest to perfection a person ever comes is when he fills out a job application form. ~ Stanley J. Randall

Time is an illusion, lunchtime doubly so. ~ Douglas Adams

I have never liked working. To me a job is an invasion of privacy. ~ Danny McGoorty

Researchers at Harvard say that taking a power nap for an hour in the afternoon can totally refresh you. They say that by the time you wake up you'll feel so good, you'll be able to start looking for a new job. ~ Jay Leno

I've met a few people in my time who were enthusiastic about hard work. And it was just my luck that all of them happened to be men I was working for at the time. ~ Bill Gold

A baseball game is twice as much fun if you're seeing it on the company's time. ~ William C. Feather

Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire. ~ Author Unknown

An expert is a man who has made all the mistakes which can be made in a very narrow field. ~ Niels Bohr

You're no good unless you are a good assistant; and if you are, you're too good to be an assistant. ~ Martin H. Fischer

People who work sitting down get paid more than people who work standing up. ~ Ogden Nash

Commuter - one who spends his life
In riding to and from his wife;
A man who shaves and takes a train,
And then rides back to shave again.
~ E.B. White, "The Commuter," Poems and Sketches, 1982

The brain is a wonderful organ. It starts working the moment you get up in the morning, and does not stop until you get into the office. ~ Robert Frost

The difference between a job and a career is the difference between forty and sixty hours a week. ~ Robert Frost

Work expands so as to fill the time available for its completion. ~ C. Northcote Parkinson, 1958

A memorandum is written not to inform the reader but to protect the writer. ~ Dean Acheson
(Otherwise known as C.Y.A)

What is it that you like doing? If you don't like it, get out of it, because you'll be lousy at it. ~ Lee Iacocca

One of the symptoms of an approaching nervous breakdown is the belief that one's work is terribly important. ~ Bertrand Russell

What the world really needs is more love and less paper work. ~ Pearl Bailey

Retired is being twice tired, I've thought
First tired of working,
Then tired of not.
~ Richard Armour

Statistics indicate that, as a result of overwork, modern executives are dropping like flies on the nation's golf courses. ~ Ira Wallach

I think my idea of retirement might be to one day work a 40-hour week. ~ Vince McMahon

By working faithfully eight hours a day you may eventually get to be boss and work twelve hours a day. ~ Robert Frost

The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does. ~ Author Unknown

Adults are always asking little kids what they want to be when they grow up because they're looking for ideas. ~ Paula Poundstone

If you don't like your job you don't strike. You just go in every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way. ~ Homer Simpson, The Simpsons

(Let's see: half-assed pay = half-assed work or the old proverb: If you pay peanuts, you get monkeys.)


John F. Kennedy, Cheeky Quote Day, Orson Scott Card, Bertrand Russell, Dave Barry, United States, C. Northcote Parkinson, Harry Truman, Dean Acheson, the social poets, Denny Lyon, unemployment quotes, jobs quotes, Quote Garden, humor, funny quotes