Funny Make You Grin in Your Sleep Quotes - Cheeky Quote Day 24 Feb 2010

Sleeping lion Photo by travlinman43 @ flickr


From Denny: This post took 9 hours to pull together, whew! And over 2500 photos later, I culled these best photo funnies for you.

Yesterday, I wrote a post about tips on how to sleep better over at my health and healing blog, The Healing Waters:

Are You Sleep Deprived? Smart Tips 4 Sound Sleep

It got me to thinking about how the subject of sleep is common to us all and a universal theme we all complain about or praise occasionally.

Delighted I was to find so many quotes that I had to edit them - and even poems written through the ages - about the subject of sleep. If you are having trouble sleeping then just take a look at all the sleep photos and you will be yawning and ready to pass out in no time. Be sure to pass this post along to all your insomniac friends! :)

I think I'll just crawl into bed and rest up a bit while you read... It's OK if I hear you laughing out loud. That's music to my ears!


The best Life advice:

Think in the morning. Act in the noon. Eat in the evening. Sleep in the night. - William Blake

Never work just for money or for power. They won't save your soul or help you sleep at night. - Marian Wright Edelman

Better to sleep with a sober cannibal than a drunken Christian. - Herman Melville




Sleeping boy at the table where sometimes sleep wins out over food Photo by indi.ca @ flickr


Best Interesting Observations:

Laugh and the world laughs with you, snore and you sleep alone. - Anthony Burgess

From time immemorial artistic insights have been revealed to artists in their sleep and in dreams, so that at all times they ardently desired them. – Paracelsus

We are not hypocrites in our sleep. - William Hazlitt

Each day is a little life: every waking and rising a little birth, every fresh morning a little youth, every going to rest and sleep a little death. - Arthur Schopenhauer

There is only one thing people like that is good for them - a good night's sleep. - Edgar Watson Howe

Funny Serious Coffee Jr. Raglan

I make serious coffee so strong it wakes up the neighbors! Yeah, I know where you live: Louisiana - with art by Louisiana artist denny lyon

Sleeping toes Photo by therapycatguardian @ flickr


Best Life Philosophy:

Silence is the sleep that nourishes wisdom. - Francis Bacon

A poet's work is to name the unnameable, to point at frauds, to take sides, start arguments, shape the world, and stop it going to sleep. - Salman Rushdie

As we abide in sleep, intuitively resonating with the sum of all our experiences - this life and beyond - we gain refreshing perspective on our efforts and have an opportunity to remember what we know. - Henry Reed

My father said there were two kinds of people in the world: givers and takers. The takers may eat better, but the givers sleep better. - Marlo Thomas of St. Jude’s Childrens’ Hospital




Sometimes sleep is an elusive fantasy Photo by Ashikin Abdullah @ flickr


Poems about sleep:

Sleep that knits up the ravelled sleave of care
The death of each day's life, sore labour's bath
Balm of hurt minds, great nature's second course,
Chief nourisher in life's feast.- William Shakespeare, Macbeth


O sleep, O gentle sleep,
Nature's soft nurse, how have I frighted thee,
That thou no more wilt weigh my eyelids down
And steep my sense in forgetfulness?
- William Shakespeare, Henry IV, Part I


And if tonight my soul may find her peace
in sleep, and sink in good oblivion,
and in the morning wake like a new-opened flower
then I have been dipped again in God, and new-created. - D.H. Lawrence


A flock of sheep that leisurely pass by
One after one; the sound of rain, and bees
Murmuring; the fall of rivers, winds and seas,
Smooth fields, white sheets of water, and pure sky -
I've thought of all by turns, and still I lie
Sleepless...
- William Wordsworth, "To Sleep"


Sleep is perverse as human nature,
Sleep is perverse as legislature....
So people who go to bed to sleep
Must count French premiers or sheep,
And people who ought to arise from bed
Yawn and go back to sleep instead.- Ogden Nash, Read This Vibrant Exposé


O bed! O bed! delicious bed!
That heaven upon earth to the weary head.
- Thomas Hood, Miss Kilmansegg - Her Dream


Sleep, rest of things, O pleasing Deity,
Peace of the soul, which cares dost crucify,
Weary bodies refresh and mollify.
- Ovid, attributed


Don't fight with the pillow, but lay down your head
And kick every worriment out of the bed.
- Edmund Vance Cooke


Then, the cool kindliness of sheets, that soon
Smooth away trouble; and the rough male kiss
Of blankets....
- Rupert Brooke, "The Great Lover"


Oh sleep! it is a gentle thing,
Beloved from pole to pole.
- Samuel Taylor Coleridge


The days are cold, the nights are long,
The North wind sings a doleful song;
Then hush again upon my breast;
All merry things are now at rest,
Save thee, my pretty love!
- Dorothy Wordsworth, "The Cottager to Her Infant"


Even thus last night, and two nights more I lay,
And could not win thee, Sleep, by any stealth:
So do not let me wear to-night away.
Without thee what is all the morning's wealth?
Come, blessed barrier between day and day,
Dear mother of fresh thoughts and joyous health!
- William Wordsworth, "To Sleep"


But no one ever is allowed in Sleepytown, unless
He goes to bed in time to take the Sleepytown Express!
- James Jackson Montague, The Sleepytown Express


Early to rise and early to bed
Makes a man healthy and wealthy and dead.
- James Thurber, Fables for Our Times, 1940


Cut if you will with sleep's dull knife
The years from off your life, my friend!
The years that death takes off my life,
He'll take from off the other end! - Edna St. Vincent Millay

Be HAPPY! Shoulder Bag

Get your FLIRT on... Be HAPPY! Inspire others to a better day.

Working hard all day and finally at rest Photo by Meanest Indian @ flickr


When you are old and gray and full of sleep, and nodding by the fire, take down this book and slowly read, and dream of the soft look your eyes had once, and of their shadows deep. - William Butler Yeats

Death, so called, is a thing which makes men weep,
And yet a third of life is passed in sleep. - Lord Byron

One who never turned his back but marched breast forward, never doubted clouds would break,
Never dreamed, though right were worsted, wrong would triumph,
Held we fall to rise, are baffled to fight better, sleep to wake.
- Robert Browning




Belly up and asleep in total abandon cat Photo by kaibara87 @ flickr


Funny Quotes:

Consciousness: that annoying time between naps. - Anonymous

There is no snooze button on a cat who wants breakfast. - Anonymous




Father and son asleep Photo by jessicafm @ flickr


People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have one. - Leo J. Burke

Life is too short to sleep on low thread-count sheets. - Leah Stussy

Most people do not consider dawn to be an attractive experience - unless they are still up. - Ellen Goodman

Sleeping is no mean art: for its sake one must stay awake all day. - Friedrich Nietzsche

No day is so bad it can't be fixed with a nap. - Carrie Snow

The bed is a bundle of paradoxes: we go to it with reluctance, yet we quit it with regret; we make up our minds every night to leave it early, but we make up our bodies every morning to keep it late. - Charles Caleb Colton

Life is something that happens when you can't get to sleep. - Fran Lebowitz

Insomnia is a gross feeder. It will nourish itself on any kind of thinking, including thinking about not thinking. - Clifton Fadiman

Dawn: When men of reason go to bed. - Ambrose Bierce

If people were meant to pop out of bed, we'd all sleep in toasters. - Anonymous, attributed to Jim Davis

Sleep is a symptom of caffeine deprivation. - Anonymous

If a man had as many ideas during the day as he does when he has insomnia, he'd make a fortune. - Griff Niblack

A ruffled mind makes a restless pillow. - Charlotte Brontë

People who snore always fall asleep first. - Anonymous





Baby asleep on "2 sleep" Photo by treehouse1977 @ flickr


Without enough sleep, we all become tall two-year-olds. - JoJo Jensen, Dirt Farmer Wisdom, 2002

Childhood is the sleep of reason. - Jean Jacques Rousseau

Anyone can escape into sleep, we are all geniuses when we dream, the butcher's the poet's equal there. - Emile M. Cioran

The best cure for insomnia is a Monday morning. - Anonymous

There is no hope for a civilization which starts each day to the sound of an alarm clock. – Anonymous

Some people talk in their sleep. Lecturers talk while other people sleep. - Albert Camus

When I'm alone, I can sleep crossways in bed without an argument. - Zsa Zsa Gabor

There are two types of people in this world, good and bad. The good sleep better, but the bad seem to enjoy the waking hours much more. – Woody Allen

To achieve the impossible dream, try going to sleep. - Joan Klempner

It is a common experience that a problem difficult at night is resolved in the morning after the committee of sleep has worked on it. - John Steinbeck

The serpent, the king, the tiger, the stinging wasp, the small child, the dog owned by other people, and the fool: these seven ought not to be awakened from sleep. - Chanakya

Nothing cures insomnia like the realization that it's time to get up. – Anonymous

Dream research is a wonderful field. All you do is sleep for a living. - Stephen LaBerge

Sleep is when all the unsorted stuff comes flying out as from a dustbin upset in a high wind. - William Golding

God has more important things to worry about than who I sleep with. - Cyndi Lauper




Sleeping Beauty capnapping Photo by Clearly Ambiguous @ flickr


All men whilst they are awake are in one common world: but each of them, when he is asleep, is in a world of his own. - Plutarch

How do people go to sleep? I'm afraid I've lost the knack. I might try busting myself smartly over the temple with the night-light. I might repeat to myself, slowly and soothingly, a list of quotations beautiful from minds profound; if I can remember any of the damn things. - Dorothy Parker

Fatigue is the best pillow. - Benjamin Franklin

Sleep, that deplorable curtailment of the joy of life. - Virginia Woolf

Decency must be an even more exhausting state to maintain than its opposite. Those who succeed seem to need a stupefying amount of sleep. - Quentin Crisp

Good communication is just as stimulating as black coffee, and just as hard to sleep after. - Anne Morrow Lindbergh

When things haven't gone well for you, call in a secretary or a staff man and chew him out. You will sleep better and they will appreciate the attention. – President Lyndon B. Johnson

Time, motion and wine cause sleep. - Ovid

For sleep, one needs endless depths of blackness to sink into; daylight is too shallow, it will not cover one. - Anne Morrow Lindbergh

There are twelve hours in the day, and above fifty in the night. - Marie de Rabutin-Chantal

Sleeplessness is a desert without vegetation or inhabitants. - Jessamyn West

I'm not asleep... but that doesn't mean I'm awake. – Anonymous

For disappearing acts, it's hard to beat what happens to the eight hours supposedly left after eight of sleep and eight of work. - Doug Larson

Once his wife goes to sleep it takes a minor nuclear explosion to wake her. - Tony Blair

Sleep is the most moronic fraternity in the world, with the heaviest dues and the crudest rituals. - Vladimir Nabokov

Sleep 'til you're hungry, eat 'til you're sleepy. – Anonymous

Funny Flying Pig Men's Fitted T-Shirt

Funny Pig quote: Never try to teach a pig to sing: it wastes your time and it annoys the pig.

Asleep on the keyboard Photo by Scott McLeod @ flickr


Sleep: a poor substitute for caffeine. - Anonymous

The amount of sleep required by the average person is five minutes more. - Wilson Mizener

In its early stages, insomnia is almost an oasis in which those who have to think or suffer darkly take refuge. – Colette

Sleep - the most beautiful experience in life - except drink. - W. C. Fields

The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep. - W. C. Fields

There was never a child so lovely but his mother was glad to get him to sleep. - Ralph Waldo Emerson

It is useless to tell one not to reason but to believe - you might as well tell a man not to wake but sleep. - Lord Byron

We sleep in separate rooms, we have dinner apart, we take separate vacations - we're doing everything we can to keep our marriage together. - Rodney Dangerfield

I put a piece of paper under my pillow, and when I could not sleep I wrote in the dark. - Henry David Thoreau




Let my body art do the talking while I catch some Zzzzs Photo by malias @ flickr


I love sleep. My life has the tendency to fall apart when I'm awake, you know? - Ernest Hemingway

A man can sleep around, no questions asked, but if a woman makes nineteen or twenty mistakes she's a tramp. - Joan Rivers

Don't tell your kids you had an easy birth or they won't respect you. For years I used to wake up my daughter and say, 'Melissa you ripped me to shreds. Now go back to sleep.' - Joan Rivers

Men who are unhappy, like men who sleep badly, are always proud of the fact. - Bertrand Russell

If you're going to do something tonight that you'll be sorry for tomorrow morning, sleep late. - Henny Youngman

We all dream; we do not understand our dreams, yet we act as if nothing strange goes on in our sleep minds, strange at least by comparison with the logical, purposeful doings of our minds when we are awake. - Erich Fromm





Cat asleep in a frying pan Photo by dominiqs @ flickr


I am accustomed to sleep and in my dreams to imagine the same things that lunatics imagine when awake. - Rene Descartes

Our birth is but a sleep and a forgetting. Not in entire forgetfulness, and not in utter nakedness, but trailing clouds of glory do we come. - William Wordsworth

Marriage is an alliance entered into by a man who can't sleep with the window shut, and a woman who can't sleep with the window open. - George Bernard Shaw

But I have promises to keep, and miles to go before I sleep, and miles to go before I sleep. - Robert Frost

I look upon death to be as necessary to our constitution as sleep. We shall rise refreshed in the morning. - Benjamin Franklin

Leisure time is that five or six hours when you sleep at night. - George Allen

When I woke up this morning my girlfriend asked me, "Did you sleep good?" I said "No, I made a few mistakes." - Steven Wright

Love: Amen! Mug

Love is redemptive power to transform

If you want to know how to get a great night's sleep:

Are You Sleep Deprived? Smart Tips 4 Sound Sleep

Hope you enjoyed the chuckles and that it gets you through the rest of your work week! :)

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Are You Sleep Deprived? Smart Tips 4 Sound Sleep

*** Lack of good sleep can create serious health problems. Here are some simple steps to better sleep every night.

*** Just ran this post over at The Healing Waters which was recently revamped. Since so many of us at this blog are night owls maybe this might be helpful. :) Let me know if you find it useful. If you have some great tips to add, let me know!


From Denny: We all have busy lives and sometimes can't sleep. With the rising unemployment and chaotic economy of late people are awake in the middle of the night, worrying about how to pay the bills. Stop. Getting your sleep is more important than ever when you are experiencing stress. Enough sleep will help give you the energy and good frame of mind to solve the problems of the day. Treat the business of achieving sound sleep like a job you love - with passion.

Survey of the sleep deprived

Self Magazine did a survey of its readers and found that 60% sleep less than 7 hours a night. 34% experience trouble falling asleep several times a month. 49% wake up often in the middle of the night and then cannot return to sleep.

What is keeping people awake in the night?

What is keeping most Americans awake nights? One third can't sleep because of the anxiety of the day, their minds are still worrying about work because they are worried about making enough money to pay the bills.

What happens when we sleep 7 or less hours a night?

What are the statistics on sleeping 6 to 7 hours a night or less? Not good. Sleeping less than 7 hours a night will cause you to gain weight. So, if you want to diet, then start sleeping more than 7 hours a night! At less than 7 hours a night you are also three times more likely to catch a cold.

When we are sleep deprived we tend to overeat easily and choose all the wrong foods like sweet or salty foods instead of complex carbohydrates.

What happens when we sleep 6 hours or less a night?

At 6 hours or less sleep a night our body and brain suffers worse. Especially, if it goes on for more than two weeks in a row. What can happen to us is that sleep deprivation impairs our memory, our reaction time like when driving a car and hurts our cognition. The college student who stays up all night before an exam always does worse than the student who studied the night before and then got enough sleep before the exam. In fact, going for two weeks on less than 6 hours of sleep a night is the equivalent of pulling two all nighters in a row. By then you are one whipped puppy, dragging and exhausted.

Did you know how sleep is helpful?

Getting enough Zzzzs can do the following for you:

* prevent cancer
* prevent weight gain
* fend off colds
* improve memory
* improve athletic performance

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

Smart sleep tips:

Quality sleep can make us calmer, happier and healthier during our waking hours. It's important to start winding down one to two hours before going to bed. Here are some ideas to help you in the transition of your busy day into your night of good sleep.

* Dim lights and turn off technology one to two hours before bed. Sometimes, as a compromise when we are watching a favorite TV show right before bed, I start the sleep process by dimming the lights, locking the doors, feeding the pets about two hours before bed time. The dishwasher gets turned on as we climb into bed as what we laughingly call "the dishwasher lullaby." Our brains are trained to sleep by it.

* Start your winding down process one to two hours before bed. This is not the time to be active and empty the dishwasher and then get on a cleaning binge.

* Plan a routine, and stick to it, of when to go to bed and when to wake up and keep to it every day. Consistency is the key to getting regular sleep.

* Remember to unplug from your computer gadgets as that intense light tricks the brain into thinking it's sunlight and so the brain stays awake and alert.

* Skip your afternoon coffee. We all know it's a stimulant but did you know that caffeine can stay in our systems for up to 8 hours?

* Pass on that bed time glass of wine too. It may initially help you to relax but it soon acts as a stimulant. Alcohol also interrupts the brain's chemicals for sleep. It can also severely alter your breathing patterns, sometimes dangerously so.

* Try the hot bath idea if you are having trouble winding down from a particularly stressful day.

* Meditation or prayer time is always a helpful idea right before bed. It gives the brain a task to occupy it as you slow your breathing and then your brain relaxes too, calming and preparing to rest the body.

* A good idea is to keep the TV out of the bedroom. Your brain will gravitate to that magnetic field it emits and stay partially awake because of the light too. The end result is crankiness the next day and every day. If you are wondering why you feel tired a few hours after you wake up in the morning or are grumpy that could be one of the factors. Your brain was never able to get fully rested.

* The deeper stages of sleep require a cooler temperature in the bedroom. Turning down the heat, especially in your bedroom, assists the brain that is turning down the body's thermostat.

* If you find yourself waking in the middle of the night, then lose the clock. We all know that clock watching is a surefire way to end up awake all night. Of course, if you feel really revved up, then get up and go read a book. Sometimes, the brain just gets snagged and needs something different to help it change gears.

There are times I just use that time to pray. Most times that's what it is as your spirit wakes your conscious mind to pray. Go with the flow. Other times when I'm enegetic for no apparent reason in the middle of the night I realize I'm supposed to get up to write and come up with some wonderful creativity!

* Keep a journal by your bed for those creative thoughts or worry thoughts. Sometimes, I get snatches of a poem or phrases for an article for about an hour or two after going to bed. So, I just record them in my journal. As soon as I've done that my brain feels satisfied that the creative stuff got recorded for later development the next day - and then I drift off into a sound sleep.

If you are the worrying type, then record those worries of the day in your night time journal. Take a look at them the next day and start solving the problems. Somehow, they look easier the next day after you have fully rested.

Whatever you do, treat sleep like you are owning a precious jewel: get it insured by creating your best routine for a quality experience.

Visit msnbc.com for breaking news, world news, and news about the economy

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sleep problems, sleep disorders
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