Joke: Cat Goes to Heaven

Tokoyo Cat Cafe where for $10 customers can play with their favorite cat - Image by Getty Images via Daylife

From Denny: Found this over at Jokes.net, enjoy!

Cat Goes to Heaven

One day a cat dies of natural causes and goes to heaven. There he meets the Lord Himself. The Lord says to the cat, "You lived a good life and if there is any way I can make your stay in Heaven more comfortable, please let Me know." The cat thinks for a moment and says, "Lord, all my life I have lived with a poor family and had to sleep on a hard wooden floor." The Lord stops the cat and says, "Say no more," and a wonderful fluffy pillow appears.

A few days later, six mice are killed in a tragic farming accident and go to heaven. Again, there is the Lord there to great them with the same offer. The mice answer, "All of our lives we have been chased. We have had to run from cats, dogs and even women with brooms. Running, running, running; we're tired of running. Do you think we could have roller skates so we don't have to run anymore?" The Lord says, "Say no more," and fits each mouse with beautiful new roller skates.

About a week later the Lord stops by to see the cat and finds him snoozing on the pillow. The Lord gently wakes the cat and asks him, "How are things since you got here?"

The cat stretches and yawns and replies, "It is wonderful here. Better than I could have ever expected. And those 'Meals On Wheels' you've been sending by are the best!"



Cat, Roller skates, Heaven, Family, Pets, Lord, jokes, Humor

New Link Added to Interesting Mountain Climbing Blog

From Denny: Since I have a number of readers from Poland I thought you might enjoy checking out this guy's site. He is a friendly, smart guy who writes well in English so anyone can enjoy his unusual blog. He teaches beginner mountain climbing.

What I like about his blog is that from a spiritual or writing perspective it really is a metaphor for life as he teaches how to overcome obstacles that seem immovable! An enjoyable read worth the time to visit again and again. To visit his blog, Himalman's Weblog, go here.

Added him to the The Social Poets Fav Bloggers blog roll list so you have a permanent link to find him. He is also linked on The Social Poets Fav Links under the Travel section.

Cheeky Quote Day! 10 June 2009

Photo from typography friendfeed group

Elvis Presley in 1956 on Milton Berle show singing Hound Dog.

From Denny: What is an anagram? Bet you haven't thought about this idea in some time. Well, some people play with their food; writers play with their words! Rearrange words to create another word or phrase, often with hilarious results. You can only use the letters available and only once to produce your fun. The object is to produce another word or phrase that comments upon the original word or phrase used. Now that takes skill!

It can be a synonym, antonym, parody, criticism or praise of the subject used. Here are a couple of funny examples: George Bush = He bugs Gore, Madonna Louise Ciccone = Occasional nude income, and the most famous writer for 400 years now, William Shakespeare = I am a weakish speller.

Today it isn’t quite the brain teaser task it once was. Today we have the internet with fun sites like Wordsmith and Anagram Genius to provide us with the resources of anagram generators.

Anagrams have quite a history as they were popular in the Middle Ages in Europe as well as Greece all the way back to 300 BCE.

I threw the phrase “economic depression” into wordsmith’s generator and up popped all kinds of crazy combinations. The one I liked best was “comedic opines snore.”

From the folks over at wordsmith.org are a few examples of funny anagrams from their Anagram Hall of Fame.

Elvis = Lives

Listen = Silent

Internet Anagram Server = Isn't rearrangement rave?

Dormitory = Dirty Room

Dictionary = Indicatory



Schoolmaster = The classroom

Clint Eastwood = Old West Action

Madam Curie = Radium came

A telephone girl = Repeating "Hello"

Western Union = No Wire Unsent



The country side = No City Dust Here

Evangelist = Evil's Agent

Astronomers = Moon starers / No more stars

Postmaster = Stamp Store

A telescope = To see place



The eyes = They see

The cockroach = Cook, catch her

The Morse Code = Here Come Dots

The Meaning of Life = The fine game of nil

Waitress = A stew, Sir?

Conversation = Voices Rant On



Mr. Mojo risin' = Jim Morrison
(from the Doors song, "L.A. Woman")

The Great New York Rapid Transit Tunnel = Giant work in street, partly underneath

Mother-in-law = Woman Hitler



Funeral = Real Fun

Protectionism = Nice to imports

A domesticated animal = Docile, as a man Tamed it

Butterfly = Flutter-by

Heavy Rain? = Hire a Navy!



The Check is in the Mail = Claim "Heck, I sent it (heh)"

The United States Bureau of Fisheries = I Raise the Bass to Feed Us in the Future

Snooze Alarms = Alas! No More Z's

A Decimal Point = I'm a Dot in Place

The Earthquakes = That Queer Shake

Statue of Liberty = Built to Stay Free



And the best for last, a Biblical quote:
'And God said, Let there be light: and there was light.' = The Word engendered Light as a blast. A delight hit.



Now I double dare you to create a poem out of anagrams! Yikes! That might take me a few months to construct... if ever... BTW, that's a portrait of "me" sleeping on the family dog who's a generous soul...;)

3 Good Laughs!

Kids Crossing Image by hugovk via Flickr

Culled these 3 funnies from my humor blog:
Ouch Outrageous Obnoxious And Odd - when I'm researching an article I find some of the silliest, funniest, oddest things! These 3 are general audience.

Video: Humorous Talented Unusual Dance Moves

Obnoxious Category Short Joke: Two Engineering Students

Ouch Category: Little Boys Dilemma at School

Video: Gene Kelly Tap Dances on Roller Skates

Image via Wikipedia

From Denny: Now this will get you in a good mood! This little dancing clip is from the 1955 movie called "It's Always Fair Weather." Gene Kelly is most famously known for his 1952 hit movie "Singing In The Rain." While this clip starts off slow, don't lose patience. By the second half all the action starts! He is really amazing, considering the fact that in 1955 no one knew what roller blading was and no one was doing it on his professional level. Enjoy!

Cheeky Quote Day! 27 May 2009

Photo by I'm Fantastic @ flickr

From Denny: OK, I admit it, I’ve dyed my hair so many colors over the years that I actually like these dumb blonde jokes now! This one is a grinner.

How is this joke a cheeky quote? I’ll answer that question with yet another question: Do you realize just how many dumb blonde jokes have been floating around out there on the internet? Sooner or later you just knew one would be quoted here! :)

Cheeky Quotes are always welcome too from the famous writer Oscar Wilde, one wild character and totally larger than life! His was a twisted humor, using truth to illustrate paradox and hypocrisy of society - why he has remained one of my favorites.

*****

Herding Sheep Image via Wikipedia

Counting Sheep

The blonde from Casper had been the brunt of dumb blonde jokes all her life and finally decided to do something about it. Boldly, she entered a beauty salon and had her hair dyed auburn. The change was immediate and drastic.

Suddenly people began to treat her with respect and her self-esteem grew daily. One afternoon she went for a drive in the country-side and happened upon a band of sheep and a herder. Deciding to test her new-found confidence and skill, she stopped and visited with the herder. After charming the herder, she made him a proposition.

She said, "I’d love to have one of those sheep as a pet. Do you suppose if I guessed the exact number you have in your herd you could let me have one to take home?"

The herder, thinking there was no way in the world she could guess the exact number said, "Why sure, little lady, you go ahead and guess."

The auburn/blonde said, "You have exactly 1053 head of sheep.

The herder could not believe it. She had guessed the number right on the button. Chagrined, he told her to go ahead and pick out a sheep to take home. She wandered through the whole herd finally making her selection at the far edge of the flock. Carrying it back to her car, she put it in the back seat. As she was about to drive off, the herder came running towards her car frantically yelling,

"Wait, wait!" She rolled down her window to see what he wanted and he said, "I’ve got a proposition for you. If I can guess the exact color of your hair before you dyed it, can I have my dog back?"



Photo by anaxila @ flickr

From famous humor writer Oscar Wilde:

"A little sincerity is a dangerous thing, and a great deal of it is absolutely fatal."

"Disobedience, in the eyes of any one who has read history, is human's original virtue. It is through disobedience that progress has been made, through disobedience and through rebellion."

"Moderation is a fatal thing. Nothing succeeds like excess."

"We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars."

"Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much."


From Denny: Enjoy the rest of your work week! If you need some more laughs to get through the week I've collected all kinds of funny things over at my humor blog, Ouch Outrageous Obnoxious And Odd, go here.

Humor Blog Escape!

Ouch Outrageous Obnoxious And Odd blog has escaped out of the barn like a naughty puppy in need of obedience school training. Sigh... such is life!

Like any puppy this little humor blog only has a few post puddles (got to keep that exuberant puppy metaphor going!). Plenty more to come!

This blog seems to have taken on a life of its own. I believe I am being mocked by my own creation! ;)

Cheeky Quote Day! 11 March 2009

Don't you just love this dog photo? Talk about nosy! Found him at a fun blog thru MyBlogLog (great place with lots going on): toobizarre.

OK, so I'm known for my silly humor, why not bestow Wednesdays as Cheeky Quote Day? All in favor of this motion raise my hand! Thank you, motion has passed.

While I am a very serious person there are those days when a body just has to do a Happy Dance. Move over, Elmo, there's a new game in town!

Quote: "A sense of humor is the ability to understand a joke - and that the joke is oneself." - Clifton Paul Fadiman

Quote: "Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before." - Mae West