This Week: Roundup of Sunday Funnies - Biden Licks the Plates

From Denny: Here's the latest on the late night show funnies, enjoy!

Photo by Tansan @ flickr

The Late Show With David Letterman

David Letterman: [Former Vice President Dick Cheney's] speech went over pretty well. I mean, Cheney was interrupted five times by applause and 50 times by people screaming, "Stop! I'll tell you everything! What do you want to know?"

Late Night With Jimmy Fallon

Jimmy Fallon: Michelle Obama's on the cover of Time magazine this week. She says she has dinner with a Barack and the kids every night, and then -- oh, it's so cute -- Joe Biden jumps up and tries to lick the plates.

The Colbert Report

David Letterman: The C.I.A. fired back, saying, "It is not our policy or practice to mislead Congress." It's true. Sometimes they just get lucky.

Daily Show With Jon Stewart

Jon Stewart: [President Obama] opened with some familiar rhetoric.

President Obama: Keeping American people safe, it's the first thing I think about when I wake up.

Former President Bush: I wake up every day thinking about how I can best protect America.

Obama: You can't count on a surrender ceremony.

Bush: There will be no surrender ceremony.

Obama: To disrupt, dismantle, defeat al Qaeda.

Bush: To disrupt and destroy terrorists.

Stewart: I love it when he does all the Bush covers.


Joe Biden, Jimmy Fallon, Dick Cheney, Late Show with David Letterman, Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, Michelle Obama, George W. Bush, Barack Obama

This Week: Roundup of Sunday Funnies - U.S. Kept Copies of Keys to Iraq, Statue of Liberty Reopens, Maine Gets Gay Friendly

Photo by Tansan @ flickr

From Denny: In this summer heat we all can use a good laugh! Here's the latest from the late night show comics.

This Week's roundup of the Sunday funnies.

The Daily Show

Jon Stewart: The United States gave the Iraqis the key back to their own cities. Don't worry, we made a copy.

The Late Late Show

Craig Ferguson: The show "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire" is returning to prime time. But due to the recession, it's being renamed "Who Wants Five Bucks and a Taco?"

Late Show

David Letterman: Here is good news for Bernie Madoff: Only 149 years, 50 weeks to go.

The Colbert Report

Stephen Colbert: [Clip from CNN's "Anderson Cooper 360" show] "Tonight, connecting with one of Michael Jackson's old friends and perhaps one of the oddest, Bubbles, the chimp." Colbert: Congratulations, Anderson. This is even bigger than your 2006 sit-down with Saddam Hussein's beloved pet, Khalid Sheikh Mohamster. [Screeb shows hamster dressed as Saddam Hussein.]

And the week I missed somehow... Statue of Liberty Reopens

The Tonight Show

Jay Leno: It was hot today. Wasn't it? I tell you. Oh, I was sweating like John Edwards waiting to watch his wife on "Oprah."

Late Night With Jimmy Fallon

Jimmy Fallon: The crown at the top of the Statue of Liberty will reopen on the Fourth of July for the first time since 9/11. Isn't that cool? Visitors will now be able to touch Air Force One as it flies right past them.

The Late Show

David Letterman: Here's a public service announcement now from Joe Biden. Remember that the sun's rays can cause painful sunburn and long-term skin damage. To be safe, between now and October, do not leave your home. Message from Joe Biden, "Time to Panic."

The Late Late Show

Craig Ferguson: The state of Maine today legalized gay marriage. Maine became comfortable with the idea after years of touching Canada.

Saddam Hussein Joe Biden Michael Jackson Anderson Cooper John Edwards Late Night with Jimmy Fallon The Tonight Show The Late Show The Late Late Show

This Week: Roundup of Sunday Funnies - Fired Astronaut, Poetry Torture

From Denny: Here's the short roundup of the late night show quips for this week!

As toxically expected the Bush League has been in full tilt operation this week trying to bury Nancy Pelosi with the usual idiot nonsense. She's so angry she can't see straight.

It will be interesting to see how long it takes before she does a 180 degree turn and starts prosecuting the Bush crowd for their high crimes and misdemeanors. Maybe this is what it will take to light a fire under her and other Dems to start taking out the trash in politics.

Trying to distract the public by discrediting and trashing Pelosi and other Dems still won't wash the stench off the Republican Party for the past eight years. Own it.

As Keith Obermann said so eloquently, "At the rate the Republican Party is going, especially with Cheney so foolishly outspoken, they are quickly going the way of the Whig Party. Who's the Whig Party? My point, exactly!"

***

Late Night With Jimmy Fallon

Jimmy Fallon: House speaker Nancy Pelosi says that the CIA lied to her in 2003. Yeah, apparently, they sent her a document saying that her makeup looked subtle.

Jimmy Kimmel Live

Kimmel: Even NASA is feeling the effects of the economy all the way in space. It looks good. (Fake footage of guy handing out pink slip in space.) "You're fired!" (Astronaut:) "Oh terrific."

The Tonight Show

Jay Leno: President Obama and first lady Michelle Obama hosted a night of poetry and music featuring musicians, authors and poets. To which President Bush said, "Now, that's torture."

Late Show

David Letterman: Did you see this? While his holiness is away on his trip to the Middle East, rest assured the Vatican is in good hands. Pope Benedict has hired an experienced vice pope. (Photo of Cheney at Vatican with lower third that reads, "Let's waterboard some heretics.") Vice Pope Cheney let's waterboard some heretics.

Photo by I'm Fantastic @ flickr